"Instead of encouraging women to be strong in society, the modern progressive knee-jerk response is to blame everyone else.” Alex B. Berezon, Hank Campbell, Science Left Behind, (NY: Public Affairs, 2012) 233.
“Our society supports this way of thinking, by helping us blame unfair love relationships, childhood abuse, parental abandonment, or emotional or sexual trauma for all of our painful emotions, behaviors, and choices. We may hate the fact that a particular event or person ever existed in our lives, but nevertheless, we allow that person or event to define our identities.” Carmen Renee Berry, Mark W. Baker, Who's To Blame: Escape the Victim Trap & Gain Personal Power in Your Relationships, (Colorado Springs: Pinon Press, 1996) 9.
Some MissLed women think - and therefore behave - as if they are a victim. Men (by far the most common), the government, society, any large corporations, and their parents are some of the most prominent sources of their supposed victimhood. By thinking as a victim, they find it all-too-easy - and emotionally-satisfying - to blame someone else for their various predicaments. This leaves them feeling justified to proclaim their moral innocence and sense of entitlement. Not surprisingly, feelings of hopelessness and frustration often go hand in hand with victim thinking. Such thinking is, in fact, ultimately self-limiting. For MissLed women, victim thinking limits because it often involves them seeing themselves as powerless. It’s often a major cause of their personal stagnation. Misguidedly, they think they’re stuck, and therefore wrongly feel powerless with regard to their plight in life:
“The Victim Trap operates when someone feels that they are personally powerless. The dynamic of powerlessness causes people to mismanage their emotions through blame.” Carmen Renee Berry, Mark W. Baker, Who’s To Blame: Escape the Victim Trap & Gain Personal Power in Your Relationships, (Colorado Springs: Pinon Press, 1996) 7.
“When we are caught in the Victim Trap we can be consumed with assigning blame rather than taking responsibility for our pain...Concretely identifying the enemy provides a false sense of security by pinpointing the source of danger in Victim Thinking our lives.” Carmen Renee Berry Mark W. Baker, Who’s To Blame: Escape the Victim Trap & Gain Personal Power in Your Relationships, (Colorado Springs: Pinon Press, 1996) 20.
Unfortunately for MissLed women, any false sense of security they gain from victim thinking only limits their understanding of reality:
“Once we have assigned blame, we no longer have any motivation to explore a deeper understanding of our suffering. The guilty party has been found; the investigation is done. We are often satisfied with a superficial grasp of the crime as long as an offender can be held culpable.” Carmen Renee Berry, Mark W. Baker, Who’s To Blame: Escape the Victim Trap & Gain Personal Power in Your Relationships, (Colorado Springs: Pinon Press, 1996) 20.
What, then, keeps a number of MissLed women enmeshed in victim thinking? Simply put, many of them find victim thinking emotionally satisfying. They choose to think of themselves as a victim, and shield themselves behind a shroud of misplaced martyrdom. Ultimately, however, MissLed women have the responsibility to choose whether to wallow in victim thinking, or, instead, aspire to move beyond it:
“Victim thinking can be dangerous on many levels, but you don’t have to wallow in that mire or stay in the role of victim - the choice is yours.” Diane Bogino, Finding Your Bootstraps: 11 Steps to Overcoming Victim Thinking, (Atlanta: Geraly Simmons & Associates, 2005) 19.
Victim thinkers often fail to take responsibility for their own lives - they can’t make peace with whatever situation they find themselves in. They tend to relinquish control and responsibility to others. This is very much a self- destructive mindset. Not only do victims feel negatively about their situation, but they also feel powerless to change it. Not surprisingly, many MissLed women who have the victim mentality wallow in self-pity. This can be quite habit forming, because it serves to give them momentary satisfaction while also helping them to escape from reality. Lost in a funk of sadness and self-pity, they rarely initiate the actions needed to remedy their dissatisfactions. Too often, victims feel they have certain rights that the world owes them, and are disappointed or angry when the world doesn’t deliver. Even worse, victim thinkers can be bound permanently in a state of unforgiveness. Even with the unpleasant emotions that are usually involved with victim thinking, it persists with some MissLed women (and misguided men), mainly because it has many short-term, yet quite powerfully seductive advantages:
• Attention and validation. They solicit soothing sympathy from other people that are concerned about them and therefore try to help them. (On the other hand, it often eventually backfires as people get tired of it.)
• They don’t have to take risks. Those who feel like a victim tend to not take action, hence they don’t have to risk rejection or failure.
• They don’t have to take on the heavy weight of responsibility. Thinking of themselves as responsible for their own lives can be hard work. To ponder the difficult decisions that must be made is a heavy burden to bear. MissLed women who are victim thinkers seek to avoid such unpleasant, burdensome thoughts. In the short term it can feel like the easier choice to not take personal responsibility.
• It makes them feel righteous. Feeling like they are right and feeling assured that the supposed perpetrator is wrong leads to pleasurable feelings. In sum, MissLed women who engage in victim thinking are rewarded considerably, albeit only in the short-term:
“Achievement of victim status can lead to considerable rewards - apart from soothing sympathy, you can avoid being openly challenged by others, accusing those who challenge you of an ‘ism’ or ‘phobia’ and attract special treatment and benefits from policy.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 43.
MissLed women who take victim thinking too far can risk becoming known predominantly as victims. Indeed, those MissLed women who think in terms of victimhood persist in that habit pay significant costs. They limit their ability to perceive reality and to take on personal responsibility:
“Thinking like a victim characterizes a denier of reality and shirker of self-responsibility.” Everybody Marries the Wrong Person: Turning Flawed into Fulfilling Relationships, (Far Hills, NJ: New Horizon Press, 2010) 117.
By engaging in victim thinking, MissLed women too often become angry blamers:
“Conventional wisdom encourages assignment of blame. So we blame others (inept, neglectful or abusive parents, ruthless schoolmates, sadistic coaches or nuns) for our faults or we blame ourselves. The problems with assigning blame are that it not only fosters resentment but also renders us unlikely to change.” Everybody Marries the Wrong Person: Turning Flawed into Fulfilling Relationships, (Far Hills, NJ: New Horizon Press, 2010) 151.
MissLed women who take victim thinking too far become known predominantly as victims. Indeed, the victim identity is seductive as it provides clarity, certitude, even a community of like-minded sufferers. MissLed women often misperceive when they think of themselves as victims of:
• Male-dominated society
• Gender discrimination at work
• Unjust pay gap
• Unequal share of housework and childcare
• Unfair treatment from friends, co-workers, and family members
Why Does Victim Thinking Matter? Victims surrender power over their lives to others - their lives are driven by their environment. MissLed women who currently are victim thinkers would be better served to shift their focus away from their supposed victimhood and instead toward personal responsibility and on what they can contribute to the future. By doing so, they can avoid the 3 primary costs of habitual victim thinking:
• Victims lack resilience. They don’t have the ability to quickly bounce back after being knocked down.
• Victims generally are passive.
• Victims are usually angry at the people or events they think have “done them wrong,” and underneath the feeling of anger is almost always the feeling of powerlessness.
INTUITIVE THINKING
“Intuition tells us that we pay attention to more than we do, that our memories are more detailed and robust then they are, that confident people are competent people, that we know more than we really do, that coincidences and correlations demonstrate causation and that our brains have vast reserves of power that are easy to unlock. But in all these cases, our intuitions are wrong and they can cost us our fortunes, our health and even our lives if we follow them blindly.” Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla, (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 231.
“Intuitions shape our fears (do we fear the right things?), impressions (are our stereotypes accurate?) and relationships (does she like me?).” David G. Myers, Intuition: Its Powers and Perils, (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 10.
INTUITION is the ability to make insightful decisions quickly based on gut reactions. Unfortunately (as demonstrated above), intuitive thinking is often partially mistaken, or even completely wrong. Yet, many MissLed women have a nearly childlike faith in the reliability of intuitive thinking. While intuition can provide useful insights, it can also dangerously mislead. The ways it can lead MissLed women astray include illusory correlations, self-fulfilling prophecies, and other misleading heuristics (mental shortcuts). Intuitive thinking is often reflected when MissLed women claim that their inner “knowing” is “right.” In truth, of course, they may feel certain that their intuitive thinking is trustworthy, when, in fact, it is quite often wrong. MissLed women who choose to emphasize intuitive thinking often rely on hunches, without factoring in personal backgrounds, scientific facts, and unperceived influences such as random streaks of occurrence. However, in order to be effective, intuitive thinking must be balanced with logic. In addition, there are dangers in following intuitive thoughts based on the idea that they simply “feel right” – especially if MissLed women follow intuitions in the absence of understanding how the human mind operates. For today’s women, “Trust (or follow) your intuitive thoughts or feelings” is the misguided advice they frequently receive from the growing number of coaches, “experts,” and even self-proclaimed “matchmakers.” Such advice serves to flatter, or even intoxicate MissLed women, as it feeds their egocentric belief that women have special ways of knowing. Such supposed women-only ability serves to boost their belief that women are “special” - their intuitive thoughts deserve commensurate respect and acute attention. Such ability, of course, exists largely in MissLed women’s imaginations. And there are significant costs to such misplaced belief. In fact, common thinking errors resulting from intuitive thinking include over-optimism, untested attitudes, superficial biases and wishful thinking. Specifically, MissLed women’s intuitive thinking is subject to be hindered by:
- Hindsight bias (I knew it all along.)
- Self-serving bias (They accept more responsibility for successes than for failures.)
- Overconfidence bias (Their tendency to intuitively assume that the world actually is as they perceive it.)
- Confirmation bias (They remember the times intuition “hits” while forgetting the many other times that intuitive thinking “misses.” They rarely understand the role of chance and coincidence, preferring to give credit to meta-physical causes.) Indeed, intuitive thinking - like any other type of thinking - often lacks objectivity when it comes to evaluating its own level of success:
“In fact, we remember much more easily those flashes of intuitive brilliance, causing us to overvalue our intuition because we over-remember its successes.” J. Edward Russo, Paul J.H. Schoemaker, Winning Decisions: Getting It Right the First Time,(NY: Doubleday, 2002) 136.
“Intuition also is prone to err when we evaluate our own knowledge and abilities. This is most strikingly evident in three robust phenomena: hindsight bias, self-serving bias and overconfidence bias.” David G. Myers, “Intuition: Its Powers and Perils,” (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 88.
Due to their propensity for fearfulness and emotional reasoning, MissLed women have an unfortunate tendency to think or feel intuitively afraid of spectacular or uncommon risks, yet their minds downplay the common risks:
“It is no coincidence that fear is flourishing in the age of emotion and intuition.” Michael R. LeGault, Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye, (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 248.
MissLed women’s overconfidence in the concept of “women’s intuition” can result in their intuitive thinking running amok. This occurs when they fail to balance intuition with logical reasoning. In addition, MissLed women’s emotionalism clouds their ability to think intuitively:
“Our passions infiltrate our intuitions. When in a bad mood, we read someone’s
neutral look as a glare; in a good mood, we intuit the same look as interest.” David G. Myers, Intuition: Its Powers and Perils, (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 73.
Why does MissLed women’s misplaced confidence in their Intuitive Thinking matter? Intuition is a normal and important component of thought. However, MissLed women who rely heavily on intuitive thinking are playing with fire. Why, then, do too many strongly prefer intuitive thinking? Simply put - it is very popular, strongly encouraged (especially among women) and considerably easier than critical thinking and logical reasoning. Finally, too often, MissLed women are seduced by the simplicity and speed of intuitive thinking. There’s a heavy cost to pay for taking the easier, popular path of intuitive thinking. Broadly speaking, MissLed women do not receive the rewards earned by the harder work of critical thinking and its main elements; observation, logical reasoning and skepticism. MissLed women must move beyond their overconfidence in the power of intuition, along with their emotional attachments to its reliability. In fact, intuition is most trustworthy only after a person does the hard work of gaining knowledge and wisdom. Only then - and only when combined with reason and filtered through experience - can intuitive thinking make the best contribution to effective decision making and self-affirming behavior:
“Social psychologists have...accumulated a list of classic demonstrations of our intuition failing to recognize things that matter.” David G. Myers, Intuition: Its Powers and Perils, (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 76.
“So, despite our impressive capacity for thinking without awareness, for social intuitions and for intuitive expertise and creativity, our intuitions sometimes mislead us as to what we have experienced, how we have changed, what has influenced us and what we will feel and do.” David G. Myers, Intuition: Its Powers and Perils, (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 86.
In summary, intuitive thinking must be utilized with extreme care when making important decisions:
“"The key to successful decision making is knowing when to trust your intuition and when to be wary of it and do the hard work of thinking things through.” Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla, (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 235.
“To those who study decision-making, the most striking feature of intuitive judgment is not its occasional brilliance but its rampant mediocrity.” J. Edward Russo, Paul J.H. Schoemaker, Winning Decisions: Getting It Right the First Time, (NY: Doubleday, 2002) 135-136.
EGOCENTRIC THINKING
The tendency for some MissLed women to view everything in relationship to themselves. They confuse immediate perception (how things seem) with reality. Consequently, their desires, values and beliefs (which seem to be self-evidently correct or superior to those of others) are often uncritically used as the norm of all judgment and experience. Egocentric thinking is instinctive. Humans do not naturally consider the rights and needs of others, nor do they appreciate the limitations in their own points of view. They become explicitly aware of their egocentric thinking only if trained to do so. Since they tend to lack sufficient training, MissLed women often fail to recognize their egocentric assumptions. They also tend to underestimate or misconstrue the implications of their egocentric thoughts. Unfortunately for them, they also are largely unaware of the egocentric way they use information, the egocentric way they interpret data, or the source of their egocentric concepts and ideas. MissLed women naturally believe in their intuitive perceptions - however inaccurate. They do not recognize their self-serving perspective. Instead of using intellectual standards in thinking, they often use self-centered psychological (rather than intellectual) standards to determine what to believe and what to reject. Here are MissLed women’s innate, self-centered, psychological tendencies that determine what they believe, and what they reject:
“It’s True Because I Believe It.” Innate Egocentrism - MissLed women assume that what they believe is true, even though they have never questioned the basis for many of their beliefs.
“It’s True Because We Believe It.” Innate Sociocentrism - They assume that the dominant beliefs within the groups to which they belong are true, even though they have never questioned the basis for many of these beliefs.
“It’s True Because I Want To Believe It.” Innate Wish Fulfillment - MissLed women believe in accounts of behavior that put them (or the groups to which they belong) in a positive rather
than a negative light. Any evidence that is negative is ignored or given short shrift. They believe what “feels good,” what supports their other beliefs, what does not require them to change their thinking in any significant way, and what does not require them to admit they have been wrong.
“It's true because I have always believed it.” Innate Self-Validation - They have a strong desire to maintain beliefs that they have long held. Self-validation persists, even though they have not seriously considered the extent to which those beliefs are justified given the evidence.
“It's true because it is in my selfish interest to believe it.” Innate Selfishness - MissLed women hold fast to beliefs that justify them receiving more power, money, or personal advantage. Once again, these are held even though such beliefs are not grounded in sound reasoning or evidence. Given these tendencies, it is not surprising that egocentricity is one of the fundamental impediments to critical thinking. In fact, when one learns to think critically in a strong sense, one learns to become more rational and less egocentric. MissLed women, unfortunately, have insufficiently developed critical thinking ability. This deficit leaves them prone to these egocentric tendencies:
Egocentric Infallibility - MissLed women’s tendency to think that their beliefs are true merely because they believe them.
Egocentric Memory - MissLed women “forget” evidence and information which does not support their thinking and to “remember” evidence and information which does. Conveniently, they remember evidence that supports their position and suppress relevant counter evidence.
Egocentric Myopia - MissLed women think in an absolutist way within an overly narrow point of view. This is their intellectual shortsightedness, which is based upon their dogmatic (non-falsifiable, rigid, inflexible) commitments to an overly narrow point of view (i.e. ethnocentrism, provincialism).
Egocentric Irrationality - MissLed women too often think in a manner that lacks rationality. This tends to restrict them from examining the concerns and interests that are necessary for their success.
Egocentric Righteousness - MissLed women feel superior in the light of their misplaced confidence that they are in the possession of the truth. In fact, they have a delusionary sense of superiority over the average person based upon an unwarranted, and, therefore, misguided belief that they possesses the truth. In sum, such thinking is an unwarranted over-confidence in the correctness of MissLed women’s views.
Egocentric Hypocrisy - MissLed women ignore flagrant inconsistencies between what they profess to believe and the actual beliefs their behavior imply, or inconsistencies between the standards to which they hold themselves and those to which they expect others to adhere.
Egocentric Oversimplification - MissLed women ignore real and important complexities in the world in favor of simplistic notions. This is often done when consideration of those complexities would require them to modify their beliefs or values.
Egocentric Blindness - MissLed women fail to notice facts or evidence which contradict their favored beliefs or values.
Egocentric Immediacy - MissLed women overgeneralize immediate feelings and experiences. They are so absorbed in the immediacy of the moment that MissLed women overextend, project, or overgeneralize these immediate feelings to completely different, unrelated spheres of existence or experience. Thus, when one event in their life is highly favorable or unfavorable, all of life seems favorable or unfavorable as well.
Egocentric Absurdity - MissLed fail to notice thinking which has “absurd” consequences, when noticing them would force them to rethink their position. They are blind to the logical absurdities (contradictions and inconsistencies) of their reasoning, especially when the conscious recognition of them would force them to revise particular positions, or even their entire worldview. When MissLed women’s thinking is guided by such egocentric tendencies, they see the world from a narrow, self-serving perspective. They are not appropriately concerned with how their behavior affects others. Instead, far too much of their focus is on getting what they want or validating their beliefs and views. While humans have a capacity for egocentrism (being trapped in self-delusion, myth, and illusion), they also have a significant capacity for reasonability (freeing themselves from self-delusion, myth, and illusion). When mired in egocentric thinking, however, MissLed women’s reasonability is sore- ly lacking. In fact, none of the feelings typically associated with egocentric thinking are benevolent:
“Feelings That Accompany Egocentrism...Defensiveness, Irritability, Anger, Arrogance, Apathy, Alienation, Depression, Resentment, Indifference.” Richard Paul & Linda Elder, The Miniature Guide to Taking Charge of The Human Mind, (Sonoma, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 2007) 15.
A final problem with egocentric thinking is that it often leads to Egotism Jealousy. It stems from MissLed women’s search for identity and worth - an inappropriately acute desire for constant esteem and respect from others. If the MissLed women who feel this emotion do not satisfy this desire, they often will feel frustrated, socially weak, and inferior. In truth, the the best way to avoid such feelings is to do the work required to develop their rational tendencies:
“Egocentric tendencies function automatically and unconsciously. Rational tendencies arise only from active self-development and are largely conscious.” Richard Paul & Linda Elder, The Miniature Guide to Taking Charge of The Human Mind, (Sonoma, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 2007) 14.
Why Does Egocentric Thinking Matter? Egocentric thinking is automatic. In order to be overcome, it must be struggled against both consciously and constantly. The first, critical step is for MissLed women to recognize that there’s a problem. Then, a strong effort to see the world from any perspective other than their own will be needed. If these steps are not taken, MissLed women will continue to be unable, or unwilling, to put their focus and energy into overcoming egocentric thinking. Finally, Egocentric thinking endangers both MissLed women and misguided men alike. Both are susceptible to being ensnared by dangerous self- serving biases:
“Most of us construct self-enhancing, self-serving, egocentric biases that make us feel special - never ordinary, and certainly ‘above average.’ Such cognitive biases serve a valuable function in boosting our self-esteem and protecting life’s hard knocks. They enable us to explain away failures, take credit for our successes, and disown responsibility for bad decisions, perceiving our subjective world through rainbow prisms.” Philip Zimbardo, The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil, (NY: Random House, 2007) 261.
WISHFUL THINKING
“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.” - C.S. Lewis
Wishful thinking results from the formation of beliefs and decisions according to what might be pleasing for MissLed women to hope - or imagine - to be true. They think this way instead of relying on evidence, rationality or, most daunting for them, facing (an often unpleasant) reality. Tellingly, MissLed women often overuse the words Fair, Ought, Wish, Should, and Hope. These are indicative of their propensity for wishful thinking. Such word usage is consistent with their preference for a fantasy land of escapism. Psychologically, their wishful thinking stems from believing something because of their desire or wish that it be true. Not surprisingly, given the popularity of positive thinking today, optimism bias is predominant in wishful thinking among MissLed women. It is shown by their tendency to be overly optimistic about the outcome of planned actions. MissLed wishful thinkers (regardless of circumstances) tend to consistently predict positive outcomes. However, any positive outcomes credited to their wishful thinking are usually a short-term mirage. This brief period is known as the “dream stage.” This make-believe stage can never be reconciled with the actual situation. Soon enough, however, reality sets in, and a “frustration stage” follows. Things then start to go wrong, prompting a more determined effort to keep the fantasy in being. As the truth can no longer be avoided, they proceed to their “nightmare stage,” when everything goes wrong. This culminates in an “explosion into reality,” when their fantasy finally falls apart. The degree of damage done by this explosion varies, but is often quite significant.
Magical thinking is an extreme form of wishful thinking, wherein MissLed women’s thoughts cross the line into superstition. MissLed women who think this way keep astrologers, palm readers, and psychic mediums in business. Magical thinking is where the mind draws a correlation between unrelated events in order to bring about a desired conclusion. It is a form of reasoning that links causative relationships through correlation alone. MissLed Magical thinkers associate a particular action with a desired result, even though there is no logical connection between the two. MissLed women are often fooled by magical thinking because they allow their all-too-human, hardwired pro- cesses of attention and awareness to be manipulated. In fact, most MissLed women’s superstitious beliefs are readily explainable by the principles of magical thinking. In an increasingly confusing and impersonal world, seeking to allay their anxieties and feel in control, too often they misguidedly look for patterns and meaning. Hence, the allure of magical thinking. It serves to wish away fears or deny the reality of unpleasant situations:
“In Psychology, ‘magical thinking’ refers to the nonscientific reasoning an individual relies on to wish situations into being or to practice denial when faced with unpleasant scenarios.” Bonnie Eaker Weil, Financial Infidelity, (NY: Penguin Group, 2008) 58.
"‘Magical thinking’ (as it has been called) is defined as the belief that an object, action or circumstance not logically related to a course of events can influence its outcome. In other words, stepping on a crack cannot, given what we know about the principles of causal relations, have any direct effect on the probability of your mother breaking her back. Those who live in fear of such a tragedy are engaging in magical thought and behaving irrationally.” “Why Magical Thinking Works for Some People,” By Piercarlo Valdesolo, October 19, 2010, http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=superstitions-can-make-you&page=2
In fact, psychology writer Matthew Hutson in his book, “The 7 Laws of Magical Thinking,” discusses the most common forms of Magical Thinking:
“1. Objects Carry Essences. What’s your memorabilia collection like these days? According to this first rule, we attribute special properties to items that belong or once belonged to someone we love, is famous, or has a particular quality we admire. The fact of the matter is that the objects are just those, objects, and despite their connection with special people in our lives, they have no inherent ability to transmit those people’s powers to us.
2. Symbols Have Power. Humans have a remarkable tendency to impute meaning not only to objects but to abstract entities. We imbue these symbols with the ability to affect actual events in our lives.
3. Actions Have Distant Consequences. In our constant search to control the outcomes of events in our seemingly unpredictable lives, we build up our own personal library of favorite superstitious rituals or thoughts.
4. The Mind Knows No Bounds. Another manifestation of this rule is our tendency to believe that if we think positive thoughts about a person in trouble, our thoughts can truly help that person, even if that person is thousands of miles physically removed from us.
5. The Soul Lives On. It’s our desire to avoid thinking about our own mortality that leads us to invent and hold onto a belief in the afterlife.
6. The World Is Alive. We share the young child’s belief in animism, which is one key feature of preoperational thought. In other words, we attribute human-like qualities to everything from our pets to our iPhones.
7. Everything Happens For A Reason. The most insidious form of magical thinking is our tendency to believe that there is a purpose or destiny that guides what happens to us.” “Our Superstitious Minds: The 7 Laws of Magical Thinking,” by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. Published on May 8, 2012 http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201205/our-superstitious-minds- the-7-laws-magical-thinking
Indeed, MissLed women who engage in magical thinking tend to seek to confirm only what they hope to be true. More effective thinking would result if they would filter out their magical or wishful thinking bias by comparing their hope versus the known facts.
Why Does Wishful Thinking Matter? Wishful thinking is not merely harmless frivolity from well-intended MissLed women. In fact, when their hopes inevitably are dashed, the results are unnecessary disappointments, disillusions, and even despair. Such a widespread mindset contributes significantly to the current state of affairs in the United States of America:
“Extremes in thinking and a vacuum in the middle where fact and reason used to dwell lately characterize the national state of mind...Wishful thinking is another symptom of our impaired consensus.” James Howard Kunstler, Too Much Magic: Wishful Thinking, Technology and the Fate of the Nation, (NY: Grove/ Atlantic, 2012) 2-3.
In addition, too much Disneyfied thinking (that life is magical) in MissLed women leads to poor decision making and unrealistic expectations. Within such a mindset, they wrongly think they “deserve” happiness, success, fairness, and love. Why? In their thoughts, they are “special,” a “princess,” and “amazing.” In such rarefied air of overinflated expectations, they feel they Deserve the best of everything. Dignified thinking (“I’ll create a wonderful life”), on the other hand, exemplifies non-MissLed women. Most often, the former struggles and only strives, whereas the latter prospers and thrives.
GROUP THINKING
“Why, you may take the most gallant sailor, the most intrepid airman or the most audacious soldier, put them at a table together - what do you get? The sum of all fears.” – Winston Churchill
“Groupthink...occurs when a group makes faulty decisions because group pressures lead to a deterioration of ‘mental efficiency, reality testing, and moral judgment.” Irving L. Janis, Groupthink: Psychological Studies of Policy Decisions and Fiascoes, (Boston: Houghton-Mifflin, 1982) 9.
“Many of the most misguided decisions have not been made by lone individuals but by groups of people who, despite working together, still managed to make a disastrous decision.” Donelson R. Forsyth, Group Dynamics: A Student’s Guide, (Wadsworth, CA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning, 2010) 24.
Too often, MissLed women tend to be prone to groupthink. Since they tend to have a malleable mindset within a group, they prefer to play it safe. They often conform their thinking to only that which meets the approval of their friends or family members. As a result, they are too often satisfied to think in narrow terms that result in safe but substandard answers, suboptimal decisions, or uncritically defending the status quo. Groupthink tends to happen when the desire for harmony in a decision-making group overrides a realistic appraisal of alternatives. At times, it has been proven to be quite dangerous, even deadly. Formerly, the problem of groupthink was mainly the failing of men in power and leadership positions. Today, because of their ascension in both business and governmental leadership, women are also vulnerable to this faulty thinking habit. Within a group, the powerful female instinct to tend and befriend can strongly influence their thinking. MissLed women in particular tend to lack the confidence that is required to dissent or disagree within a group. They are fearful that any expression of a thought that dissents against the group’s consensus will put them at risk for what most women dread - ridicule, exclusion, or dismissal. Too often, they’ll go along with a questionable decision or concept due to fear of losing their place in the group and being left behind. Often, they’ll do so because they long to belong - to join. However, there are costs as well as benefits involved with becoming a joiner:
“Joiners don’t want the truth. They want their collective delusion to continue. Ignoring legitimate criticism, enveloping oneself in an echo chamber filled with other pod people, and dehumanizing the opposition all further this end...Joiners insulate themselves from Doubting Thomases by practicing intellectual snobbery - refusing to debate, invoking the authority of science, speaking an insider language unintelligible to the unitiated, and so forth. Joiners don’t think. They follow. There is safety in numbers.” Daniel J. Flynn, Intellectual Morons: How Ideology Makes Smart People Dumb, (NY: Three Rivers Press, 2004) 243.
Joiners’ striving for unanimity often overrides any thinking that would lead towards a more realistic appraisal of alternative courses of action. MissLed women’s strong drive for acceptance from others is a strong motivating factor. For them, thinking outside the parameters acceptable to the group can feel uncomfortable, even frightening. Individual initiative, creativity, uniqueness and independent thinking are diminished or lost in group thinking. Indeed, when engaged in and enveloped by, group think, they begin to think of the group’s thoughts and ideas as their own. Within the group, MissLed women have little mental room to think for themselves. Whether with men, women, or MissLed women, group thinking occurs in three types:
Type I: Overestimations of the group — its power and morality: Illusions of invulnerability creating excessive optimism and encouraging risk taking. Unquestioned belief in the morality of the group, causing members to ignore the consequences of their actions.
Type II: Closed-Mindedness: “We know that preserving the cohesiveness of a group can trump good judgment; classic work on 'group think' explains how clusters of like-minded people can make bad decisions by ignoring alternative and even dehumanizing other groups.” Carlin Flora, Friendfluence, (NY, Doubleday, 2013) 173.
Rationalizing warnings that might challenge the group’s assumptions. Irrationally stereotyping those who are opposed to the group as weak, evil, biased, spiteful, impotent, or stupid. Indeed, MissLed women who are engaged in group thinking can be close-minded and emotionally prejudiced against those outside of their group(s):
“Out-group infrahumanization is a newly investigated phenomenon in which people tend to attribute uniquely human emotions and traits to their in-group and deny their existence in out-groups. It is a form of emotional prejudice.” Philip Zimbardo, The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil, (NY: Random House, 2007) 312.
Type III: Pressures toward Uniformity:
1. Self-censorship of ideas that deviate from the apparent group consensus. “The willingness to self-censor is a symptom of groupthink.” Dr. Clifton Wilcox, Groupthink, (Bloomington, IN: Xlibris Cor- poration, 2010) 26.
2. Illusions of unanimity among group members; silence is viewed as agreement. “Although the sway of group conformity is incredibly strong, it depends on unanimity for its power.” Ori Brafman, Rom Brafman, Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, (NY: Dou- bleday, 2008) 150.
In fact, MissLed women often overestimate a sense of unanimity with others:
“We frequently overestimate unanimity with others, believing that everyone else thinking and feels exactly like we do. This fallacy is called the false-consensus effect.” Rolf Dobelli, The Art of Think- ing Clearly, (London: Spectre Books, 2013) 231.
3. Direct pressure to conform placed on any member who questions the group, couched in terms of “disloyalty.”
4. “Mind guards — self-appointed members who shield the group from dissenting information.” Irving L. Janis, Groupthink: Psychological Studies of Policy Decisions and Fiascoes, (Boston: Houghton-Mifflin, 1982) 174–175.
In fact, dissent is quite unwelcome in many groups. With their “mind guards” firmly in charge, few members dare to speak out, even if the ideas that they originate are important:
“Self-deception operates both at the level of the mind and the collective awareness of the group. To belong to a group of any sort, the tacit price of membership is to agree not to notice one’s own feelings of uneasiness and misgiving, and certainly not to question anything that challenges the group’s way of doing things. The price for the group in this arrangement is that dissent, even healthy dissent, is stifled.” Daniel Goleman, Vital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self-Deception, (NY: Simon & Schuster, 1985) 13−14.
In fact, groups can have profound effects on their ability to reason rationally. In groupthink, the invaluable input provided by dissenters with regard to potential decisions or actions is often sacrificed. What beliefs and actions, then, most often leave MissLed women (and misguided men) vulnerable to groupthink?
• The failure to examine sufficient alternatives
• Not being critical of each other’s ideas
• The failure to seek expert opinion
• Lack of contingency plans
There are five common, damaging results from groupthink. Firstly, decisions shaped by groupthink have a low probability of achieving successful outcomes. In fact, groupthink often leads to irrational thinking, choices, and decisions:
“More than fifty years of research suggests that irrational thinking occurs when people try to reach decisions in groups, and this can lead to a polarization of opinions and a highly biased assessment of a situation.” Richard Wiseman, 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot,(NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 212.
Secondly, the barriers raised by groupthink can limit MissLed women’s thinking to within the safe confines of an unoriginal box. Therein, creativity tends to be stifled and extreme or suboptimal decisions tend to enabled: “Ask them to come up with new ideas, and people are more creative away from the crowd.” Richard Wiseman, 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot, (NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 111.
“A large body of research now suggests that for more than 70 years, people using group brainstorming may have been inadvertently stifling, not stimulating, their creative juices. When working together they aren’t as motivated to put in the time and energy to generate great ideas, and so they end up spending more time thinking inside the box.” Richard Wiseman, 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot, (NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 111.
“In short, being in a group exaggerates people’s opinions, causing them to make a more extreme decision than they would on their own...the final decision can be extremely risky or extremely conservative.” Richard Wiseman, 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot, (NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 212.
Thirdly, groupthink tends to influence MissLed women towards two failings: Dogmatic beliefs and stereotyping others:
“Polarization is not the only phenomenon of ‘groupthink’...groups tend to be more dogmatic, better able to justify irrational actions, more likely to see their actions as highly moral and more apt to form stereotypical views of outsiders.” Richard Wiseman, 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot, (NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 213−214.
Another significant downside to group thinking is that it often results in less creative and productive activity by MissLed women within a group. In fact, the term “Social loafing” describes the tendency of individuals to put forth less effort (including with thinking) when they are part of a group. Because all members of the group are pooling their effort to achieve a common goal, each member of the group contributes less than they would if they were individually responsible. Instead of assuming responsibility for thinking about certain problems or decisions, MissLed women in groups tend to simply assume that one of the other group members will take care of such problem-solving or decision-making. Indeed, social loafing can make it easier to conceal laziness - in thought or action - when working in a group of people who are working together. There are 3 main reasons why social loafing occurs:
1. People perceive that others in a group are less motivated or less skillful than themselves. Since people feel unmotivated when working in a group, they perceive that their contributions will not be evaluated. As a result, they reduce their own output.
2. Social loafing may be caused by participants choosing goals that are less ambitious when others were present. They work with others with an assumption that the task will be easier when others are involved. With indivicual goals lowered, less effort is expected.
3. Individuals feel that their own efforts are less closely linked to any potential outcomes in a group setting than when they are alone.
“Social loafing does not occur solely in physical performance. We slack off mentally, too. For example, in meetings, the larger the team, the weaker our individual participation.” Rolf Dobelli, The Art of Thinking Clearly,(London: Spectre Books, 2013) 99.
Finally, group thinking often results in dangerous levels of conformity: “In short, groups will tend to reinforce their own views and reject the words of those who disagree. In this case, members of the group become ‘conformist to some conformity.” Irving L. Janis, Groupthink: Psychological Studies of Policy Decisions and Fiascoes, (Boston: Houghton-Mifflin, 1982) 5.
In fact, conformist thinking misguides MissLed women to the point they are far too influenced by their family group, work group, or peer group. Ironically, if MissLed women want to be truly unique and more valuable, they would be far better served to be non-conformist in their thinking:
“Humanity’s most valuable assets have been the non-conformists. Were it not for the non-conformists, he who refuses to be satisfied to go along with the continuance of things as they are, and insists upon attempting to find new ways of bettering things, the world would have known little progress, indeed.” – John Kenneth Galbraith
Conformist thinking stems from cognitive dissonance, obedience to authority, familiarity, repeated social contact, and a diffusion of responsibility. Within MissLed women’s malleable minds, too often they think as if they were a sheep moving with the herd. Not surprisingly, this leads them directly to conformist behaviors, such as uncritically following certain fads or trends, and purchasing “hot” or “cool” items. All-too-commonly, they follow the herd in their language, fashion, music, or other entertainments such as movies or television. Quite often, they conform their thinking, and, hence, their actions, so as to avoid any backlash from their peers:
“Women who live outside the norm of feminine stereotypes or who exhibit personal qualities of being active, independent, and logical may experience a backlash by other women. Unfortunately, these binds leave very little room for a woman to live authentically and express her genuine thoughts and feelings.” Dr. Erika Holiday, Dr. Joan Rosenberg, Mean Girls, Meaner Women: Understanding Why Women Hurt and Betray Each Other, (NY: Orchid Press, 2009) 89.
Unfortunately for them, conformist thinking tends to limit many MissLed women’s potential to mere mediocrity. Admittedly, it can be quite alluring, as its conformity is associated with these positive emotions:
• Acceptance
• Connection
• Belonging
• Comfort
• Familial Bonding
Many of MissLed women’s self-limiting and self-defeating behaviors are the logical result of group and conformist thinking. Their misperception of being limited by peer pressure misguides them to feel they must act in accordance to what the group approves. Their chosen conformity often permits them to rationalize bad behaviors: “Come on — everybody’s doing it.' That whispered message, half invitation, half goad, is what most of us think when we hear the words peer pressure. It usually leads to no good drinking, drugs, casual sex.” “Herd Mentality,” By Annie Murphy Paul, Apr. 09, 2011 http://www.time.com/time/magazine/arti- cle/0,9171,2061234,00.html#ixzz1zFP2hktz
Fear is behind much of MissLed women’s conformity. They are afraid of being shunned, ostracized, ridiculed or shamed if they dare think - and therefore act or speak- in a manner that displeases the group. As a result, MissLed women tend to conform closely to the unwritten rules, social norms, values, beliefs, and traditions of any groups to which the belong. Of course, some group or conformist thinking is beneficial. The resultant safe, group-condoned behaviors often give the useful impression of agreeableness. This helps them both to bond with other women and, perhaps even more importantly, to impress men (for mating purposes).
Why Does Group Thinking matter? For too many MissLed women, group thinking is often self-limiting or even self-defeating. Too often, such thinking is much like a weather vane - bending to the fickle winds of opinion and actions of their group. Within the illusionary safety of the herd mentality, activity is limited, objectivity is lost, and creativity is severely curtailed. Their reasonableness can be both distorted and compromised: “Something strange happens when you put people in groups. They take on new roles, form ‘in group’ alliances, get swept up by extreme stances, and succumb to peer pressure. In a group setting, the reasonableness of our thinking can be distorted and compromised.” Ori Brafman, Rom Brafman, Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, (NY: Doubleday, 2008) 150.
In summary, within group thinking, MissLed women’s minds are not free to think critically. What’s lost, in the end for them, is much truth - about themselves and their world.
ADOLESCENT THINKING
While many mature women are prospering, some women’s minds are stalled at an immature thinking stage. Too many MissLed women’s minds are mired in ignorance and immaturity, in large part due to their adolescent thinking. Unfortunately for them, their thinking never matured or developed beyond the natural human tendency to think in merely adolescent terms. This is shown by:
• An intense preoccupation with their own feelings.
• A misplaced belief that they are special and unique.
• Imaginary Audience. Encouraged by the fleeting attention they receive from others, they mistakenly think they are the focus of others’ attention (style, body, hair). They falsely perceive that others must do the same thing that they do - namely, think about and monitor them. They fail to realize that while they may be preoccupied with themselves, others are not so inclined.
• Personal Fable. Their ardent belief that their feelings and experiences can not be understood by others - because they are unique.
• Illusion of Invulnerability. Their misinformed belief that bad things will not happen to them (only to other people). This often allows them to (delusively) believe they can get good outcomes without having to do the appropriate amount of work. The typical consequences of adolescent thinking are significant. They include dishonesty, justification, making excuses, blaming others, and playing the victim. There are 8 common indicators of adolescent thinking:
1. Victim Stance. When MissLed women do not take responsibility for their own actions. Example: “He got me drunk.”
2. Lack of Effort. When MissLed women do not put sufficient energy toward completing their required tasks.
3. Lack of Concern for Others. Shown when MissLed women who do not have an age-appropriate amount of focus on other people’s welfare.
4. Fears Being Put Down or “Punked.” When MissLed are afraid to let anyone tell them what to do, or to give them constructive criticism.
5. Refusing a Trust or Obligation. When MissLed women will not follow rules or refuse to fulfill an obligation.
6. Shows Weak and False Pride. When MissLed women have unwarranted pride despite their lack of accomplishments, create fear in others, and do the exact opposite of what is expected of a responsible citizen.
7. Using Anger Inappropriately. Those MissLed women who overuse anger in difficult situations.
8. Poor Planning & Decision Making. Those MissLed women who do not think before they act. Not surprisingly, those MissLed women who think on the level of an adolescent are unable to consistently behave in a mature manner. Since they did not learn to properly analyze situations, they tend to do what they feel, instead of what needs to be done:
“The ability to analyze situation and do what needs to be done rather than what we feel like doing is the very essence of maturity. It is a skill hard won, and that requires regular exercise to remain viable.” Albert Bernstein, Ph. D., Emotional Vampires at Work: Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers Who Drain You Dry,(NY: McGraw-Hill Education, 2013) 20.
A final cost to MissLed women who think at the adolescent level is in communication. As would be expected, their immature thinking leads them to write and speak in ways that are less creative, less articulate, and thereby, less effective. Such a communication deficit in their personal and professional lives has significant costs (for more on this, see MissCommunication section.)
Why Does Adolescent Thinking Matter? Too often, MissLed women who engage in adolescent thinking tend to blame, to justify their words or actions, to attempt to rationalize bad behaviors, to seek to minimize any errors, or to make excuses for any mistakes. Not surprisingly, these damaging results of adolescent thinking can have significant adverse effects on MissLed women’s personal relationships.
POLITICALLY CORRECT THINKING
“PC is the wholesale replacement of rigorous thought with virtuous ideas and behavior. In order to gain the upper hand on reason and analysis, PC relies on two potent tactical weapons: pretense and dishonesty.” Michael R. LeGault, Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye,(NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 110.
The last, but certainly not the least, common thinking problem with MissLed women is Politically Correct thinking. Political Correctness - PC - fosters the dangerous practice of restraining speech. Any opinion or comment deemed offensive, or other otherwise undesirable, is expected to be self-censored. Such thoughts are strongly discouraged - and any expression of them is strictly prohibited. Within PC thinking, some terms are taboo. If referred to at all, taboo terms are described as “unacceptable” or “inappropriate”:
“Political correctness inculcates a sense of obligation or conformity in areas which should be (or are) matters of choice. Nevertheless, it has had a major influence on what is regarded as acceptable or appropriate in language, ideas, behavioral norms, and values.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 4.
Instead of providing open and honest communication, PC thinking substitutes an approved vocabulary of correct terms for any terms that are deemed unacceptable or inappropriate. In addition, PC euphemisms are used to refer both to groups that are supposedly stigmatized and allegedly prejudicial practices. MissLed women often unquestionably embrace, and even promote, the concept of PC. It appeals to them because they misperceive it as benevolent. For them, PC is “fair,” “inclusive,” and “sensitive.” In truth, however, it is yet another form of evil - done in the name of good. PC thinking encourages: Conformity in Thought and Action: PC thinking leads MissLed women towards stifling conformity, and away from critical thinking and the open expression of frank opinions and ideas. One of the most limiting aspects of PC is its restriction of acceptable thoughts. Any ways of thinking that might challenge the powers that be are either verboten or, at a minimum, marginalized. As a result, MissLed women who are PC-oriented unthinkingly conform - they sheepishly toe the party line. In fact, when many PC statements are de-constructed, they can be clearly seen for what they are - nothing more than vapid, feel good statements. Yet, still, PC thoughts and statements tend to appeal to MissLed women because they are deemed safe. This allows them to avoid the discomfort that usually accompanies conflicts or controversies:
“...correctness brought conformity in accepting new agendas, new limits on freedom of expression, and a general avoidance of certain controversial topics.” Geoffrey Hughes, Political Correctness: A History of Semantics, (Oxford: John Wiley & Sons, 2010) 284.
Misplaced Feelings of Moral Superiority: For MissLed women, PC thinking feeds their desire to see themselves as morally superior. They voice soothing sentences or write sweet sentiments to demonstrate how much they “care.” Yet, while preaching compassion and “tolerance,” they are, themselves, often quite intolerant:
“The intolerant, sanctimonious moral superiority that sustains the beliefs of the politically correct means that they are easily offended by the views of others. There are few as intolerant as those who preach tolerance. In contrast, if your beliefs are upheld by reason and empiricism, then opposing views don’t offend you, they intrigue you.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 26.
Misperception of the World through Rose-Colored Glasses: “Political correctness is a way of thinking - or rather emoting - that often so engulfs someone’s mind that they are unaware of it. If you wear rose-tinted glasses long enough, it seems normal that the whole world is rose.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 79.
Wrongheaded and Misconceived Classifications of “Victims”:
“Political Correctness is an ideology that classifies certain groups of people as victims in need of protection from criticism, and which makes believers feel that no dissent should be tolerated.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 4.
Blame Game: PC thinking tends to align with the famed philosopher Rousseau’s view of humanity. Therein, humans, in a state of nature, are fundamentally good. Society, however, corrupts them. If “man is born free, but he is everywhere in chains,” it follows that somebody is to blame for their tragic plight (usually, white males). Political correctness, much like the widespread Marxism which preceded it, is a blame game. It theorizes that a conspiracy based on race (white), gender (male), sexual persuasion (straight) and class (the capitalists) exploits, demeans and abuses everybody else. The consequences of these misplaced and foolish ideas resulting from PC thinking are widespread, and deadly serious:
“Ideas have consequences, and the consequences of foolish ideas can be appalling.” John M. Ellis, Literature Lost: Social Agendas and the Corruption of the Humanities, (Binghampton, NY: Vail-Ballou Press U., 1997) 164.
The most serious consequences of MissLed women’s PC thinking: • Truth means less than “goodness.”
• Dissent of PC concepts is not tolerated.
• That which is “correct” and that which is “incorrect” are dictated.
• Topics are forbidden. As a result of these limitations on freedom of thought, people are afraid to speak up, or to state provocative opinions, for fear of being branded “racist,” “sexist,” “intolerant,” or “judgmental.” Perhaps the most damaging overall consequence of PC thinking is that it tends to close MissLed women’s minds. Their thoughts are swayed toward feelings and away from clear reasoning:
“Across much of the public sphere, it has replaced reason with emotion, subordinating objective truth to subjective truth...Rather than opening minds, it is closing them down...By closing down debates, it restricts the ability to society to tackle the problems that face it.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) xii–xiii.
Indeed, MissLed women’s PC thinking - and their resultant support of PC concepts - is a threat to open-mindedness, both men’s and women’s comfort with speaking freely, and liberal democracy:
“Those that do not conform (to PC) should be ignored, silenced or vilified. There is a kind of soft totalitarianism about Political Correctness.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 2.
For some MissLed women (those who lack a personal ethical system or moral compass), such PC thinking fills their moral vacuum: “It is a belief system that echoes religion in providing ready, emotionally satisfying answers for a world too complex to understand fully, and providing a gratify- ing sense of righteousness absent in our otherwise secular society.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 6.
Indeed, PC thinking also leads to the avoidance of discussion or argument relating to controversial or provocative topics: “We tend to shy away from discussion about ‘unpleasant’ things. The Gestapo-like, motherly dictum ‘Never talk about politics or religion’ has expanded to a more encompassing ‘Never risk venturing beyond matter-of-fact observation and common anecdote.’ ” Michael R. LeGault, Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye, (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 110.
A final price of PC thinking is that, in PC land, women are largely immune from being criticized by others - or, even more dangerously, from self-criticism:
“Any suggestion that women are co-architects of their unhappiness or failure to prosper shall be deemed tantamount to misogyny, horizontal hostility, and internal sexism. We’re to ignore, deny, shift blame, and sweep all evidence of internal thrashing under a rug of complacency. Play along, or you’re anti-woman.” Kelly Valen, The Twisted Sisterhood: Unraveling the Dark Legacy of Female Friendships, (NY: Ballentine Books, 2010) 13.
Why Does PC Thinking Matter? While PC terms often sound harmless, and are lauded by many as sensitive and advantageous, they actually hinder the ability to think. PC thinking severely limits MissLed women’s ability to express themselves openly and effectively. For them, truth in thoughts or speech is too often sacrificed on the altar of being non-offensive. What’s needed is for everyone - including MissLed women - to feel free to speak honestly and openly in private discussions and public debates. Speech is best guided by sound arguments, founded in facts and guided by reason. MissLed women would be better served if they adjusted their mindset away from political correctness and toward factual correctness. Otherwise, PC’s emotionalism, dogmatism, and intolerance of dissent will continue to dominate far too much private and public discourse:
“By its very nature, politically correct thinking is most often disingenuous, if not altogether intellectually dishonest. Politically correct thinking replaces individuality and authentic opinions with socially acceptable rhetoric and watered-down behavioral tendencies.” “Politically Correct Leader? Oxymoron!” by Mike Myatt, 12/07/2011 http://www.forbes.com/sites/mikemyatt/2011/12/07/political- ly-correct-leader-oxymoron/ In sum, those MissLed women who habitually think via a politically correct filter are often sentenced to a life of mediocre performance, and vulnerability to totalitarian ideals and leaders:
“More and more, large numbers of people substitute PC views, hard-line political ideology, or cultish balderdash for hard-won knowledge and flexible, powerful reasoning and problem-solving skills.” Michael R. LeGault, Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye, (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 122.
“The Politically Correct are more intolerant of dissent than traditional liberals or even conservatives...Those who do not conform should be ignored, silenced, or vilified. There is a kind of soft totalitarianism about Political Correctness.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 2.
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