ILLUSIONS to DISSOLUTIONS

In large part due to their horse too often trumping their rider and their Type 1 thinking trumping
their type 2 thinking, they have left with a MISSTAKEN mindset.  This consists of a toxic formula of 
ILLUSIONS-> DELUSIONS-> ASSUMPTIONS-> CONFUSIONS-> DISILLUSION. In extreme situations, a painful DISSOLUTION of their most precious relationships will also occur.  What this means is the decay, disintegration or termination or destruction of their friendships with their
fellow women or their intimate partnerships with their men.

"The thing is, we are blind to our own illusions." Tali Sharot, The Optimism Bias:  A Tour of 
the Irrationally Positive Brain,(NY: Vintage Books, 2012) 15.

"An illusion is an illusion because we perceive it at face value -
as reality." Tali Sharot, The Optimism Bias:  A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain,
(NY: Vintage Books, 2012) 6.

Illusions are distorted beliefs that are not merely wrong, but wrong
in dangerous ways. They negatively impact MissLed women's thoughts, decisions and actions.

According to Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons' 2011 book The Invisible Gorilla, there
are several common illusions that lead to errors in judgment. These illusions result in thought-mistakes
(cognitive distortions) that lead to unnecessary anxieties. These
illusions are the ultimate source of innumerable relationship conflict and misunderstandings, especially for MissLed women.
These same illusions are the source of the demoralization that makes people give up on important goals
prematurely.
Ironically, the problem with illusions is significantly compounded by MissLed women's' unawareness of their presence.have
The fact that they don't see or know everything is made even worse because they often pridefully
think they see or know practically everything.
What makes illusions even more dangerous is the mistaken overconfidence MissLed women
too often have in the accuracy of their own perceptions, memories, and knowledge:
"We all believe that we are capable of seeing what's in front of us, of accurately remembering
important events from our past, of understanding the limits of our knowledge, of properly determining
cause and effect.  But these intuitive beliefs are often mistaken ones that mask critically important
limitations on our cognitive abilities." Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla,
(NY: Broadway Books, 2011) x.
The following are Illusions all-too-common among MissLed women:
1. The Illusion of attention: They remain largely unaware of how much they miss. Their lack of awareness is
not usually self-correcting (especially for excessively prideful MissLed women). Because humans have
limited attention resources, they usually see only what they expect to see;
more often than not, they fail to see what they do not expect to see:

"Our neurological circuits for vision and attention are built for pedestrian speeds,
not for driving speeds." Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla,
(NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 37.

2. The Illusion of memory: Involves the distortion and embellishment of memories that adversely
affect MissLed women's recall of what actually happened. They are particularly prone to
this illusion with events that have a high emotional impact.

3. The Illusion of confidence: Leads many MissLed women to overrate their own abilities (especially in
relation to others).  They tend to favorably interpret another person's confidence as a sign that they have
superior ability.  Even those that are incompetent self-handicap have misplaced confidence:
"The incompetent face two significant hurdles: First, they are below average in
ability. Second, since they don't realize they are below average, they are unlikely to take
steps to improve their ability." Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla,
(NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 89.

They misguidedly believe they have wider and deeper understanding than they
in fact have. Poor decisions are often the consequence - because they do not know what they think they know.
(Ironically, those with the least amount of skill are most likely to overrate their abilities).
4. The Illusion of knowledge: When MissLed women implicitly believe that they
know more than they actually do. Once again, bad decisions are often made because they do
not know what they are (wrongly) convinced that they know. 
"Over and over, the illusion of knowledge convinces us that we have a deeper understanding
what a project will entail, when all we really have is a rough and optimistic guess based on a
shallow familiarity." Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla,
(NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 126.
The illusion of knowledge can also involve others. Assuming 
that so-called "experts" always know more, understand more, can do more, and can do it better is misguided.
5.  The Illusion of cause:  Refers to MissLed women's inclination to find causal
relationships where none exist.  (A particularly harmful and well known example of this
shown by Jenny McCarthy's specious claim that autism is caused by vaccination).  It stems from their
strong inclination to find meaning in patterns (they perceive repeating patterns in
randomness as predictive of future events). They also infer causal relationships
from coincidences (assume that events that happen together have a causal relationship,
when, in fact, the reality is coincidence). Finally, they tend to assume that events that
happen earlier directly cause events that happened (or appear to have happened) later.
6.  The Illusion of potential: Describes the effects of the widespread
misbelief that the human mind has unlimited potential.  (The most popular one being that humans only
use 10% of their brains). MissLed women - who tend to cling to any belief that involves
positivity or potential - are particularly susceptible to this belief and the many snake oil
salesmen and saleswomen who are glad to foster this illusion:

"The illusion of potential relies on the corollary belief that we have vast pools of untapped
brain power just waiting to be released. The myth that we only use 10% of our brain is a direct
statement of this idea. Hucksters use the belief in untapped potential to sell everything from
miracle exercise regimens (great results with minimal effort) to ultra-fast speed reading.
Self-claimed psychics argue that they discovered their abilities." "Harry Potter and the Illusion of Potential,"
November 16, 2010, Psychology Today, Daniel Simons in The Gorilla Guys
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-gorilla-guys/201011/harry-potter-and-the-illusion-potential
7.  The illusion of validity: Refers to the inordinate amount of misplaced confidence too many MissLed women
have in their own judgment.  This persists even in the face of clear and convincing evidence that their
judgment is mistaken.
8.  The illusion of invulnerability: Refers to the presence of excessive optimism that encourages
taking imprudent, even extreme risks. Typically, those MissLed women who have this illusion have the
misplaced belief that bad things only happen to other people.
9.  The Illusion of control:  Notwithstanding their own belief, in fact, much of what MissLed women misattribute
to good (or bad) decision-making is actually the result of chance and/or forces way beyond their control.
10  The Illusion of skill:  MissLed women too often have a deeply ingrained illusion that their
skill is responsible for their successes.  Any facts that challenge this assumption - and thereby
threaten the illusion - are simply not absorbed. Their mind does not digest them.
Another illusion common with MissLed women is the Illusion of Objectivity.
Within this illusion, MissLed women often will misguidedly claim to be objective about themselves and others.
"Over and over again, studies show that people set out on a cognitive mission to
bring back reasons to support their preferred belief or action.  And because we
are usually successful in this mission, we end up with the illusion of objectivity.
We really believe that our position is rationally and objectively justified." Jonathan Haidt,
The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom, (NY: Basic Books, 2006) 65.

They are often prone to this because their perception of reality is too blurred
by the pervasiveness and power of their emotions:
"Our emotions' guidance of our attention is the RULE, not the exception."
http://selfunreflecting.wordpress.com/2011/08/04/the-illusion-of-objectivity/
"The Illusion of Objectivity Betrayed by the Pervasive Influence of Emotion"
The Focusing Illusion is yet another illusion that is becoming increasingly common with MissLed women.
This occurs when MissLed women concentrate attention, or anchor, on the influence
of any single factor on their well-being.  In other words, they fail to take into account that
well-being usually results from many, often quite varied factors.  They also tend to exaggerate the importance
of any single factor relative to the many factors that actually contribute to moment-to-moment happiness. 
Despite the now well documented weak relationship between income and life satisfaction, many MissLed
women remain intensely and relentlessly focused on increasing their income. In some cases, this
focusing illusion may lead to a misallocation of their time, from accepting lengthy commutes (which
are among the worst moments of the day) to sacrificing time spent socializing with family
and friends (which are among the best moments of the day).
Marketers and politicians excel at exploiting the focusing illusion. This allows them to influence
MissLed women's decision-making and behavior. Not surprisingly, avoiding advertisements
and ignoring political rhetoric is the best tactic to avoid such influences. Unfortunately, MissLed
women rarely do either.  As a result, they are too often seduced by the methods of the shrewd
advertisers, propagandizers and manipulators.
A final illusion all-too-common with MissLed women is the Illusion of Permanence. As the
well-know cliché' goes, nothing stays the same.  Any perception of permanence is a form
of wishful thinking.  Too many MissLed women cling to something as if they expect it to be never changing
and always present.
By doing so, they set themselves up for suffering. When this illusion is shattered when changes occur,
they become discouraged and afraid.  Indeed, this
misconception is a hindrance to their acceptance of, and mental preparation for, the inevitability of change:
"Our belief that life isn't change isn't so much a delusion, however, as it is a misconception. For
if we were to broaden our perspective and consider the frequency of change throughout humankind's
history—or better yet, throughout the history of the cosmos—it would quickly become clear that
change is the rule, not the exception."
"The Illusion Of Permanence:  The way we look at change determines how we experience it"
March 25, 2012 by Alex Lickerman, M.D. in Happiness in this World
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201203/the-illusion-permanence

Why are MissLed women's particularly susceptible to cognitive illusions?
For them, illusions are emotionally appealing - they're powerfully and vividly compelling.
The disturbing fact that life is a series of confounding coincidences and inexplicable flukes is something
they prefer to ignore.  MissLed women prefer to turn to nearly anything - astrologers, gurus, rulebooks,
programs, religious doctrines - that purport to make comforting sense of the chaos.
Of course, such beliefs and biases don't provide answers.  That's why they're known as ILLUSIONS.  Rather, they
damage and self-handicap MissLed women.
Illusions detour and derail them
from reaching their potential in terms of happiness, career success, and interpersonal
relationships.

DELUSIONS
"How, in particular, do the true believers manage to convince themselves and
others that they are the rational, reasonable ones
and everyone else is deluded." Stephen Law, Believing Bullshit, (Amherst,
NY: Prometheus Books, 2011) 9.

After being partially or completely blinded by illusions, many MissLed women are
left prone to delusions. 
Delusions are false beliefs that are unyielding to actual reality.
These mistaken or misleading opinions, ideas, or beliefs, create an alternate (more favorable to
them) reality. Delusions replace the actual facts - which are buried out of sight or denied.
Compounding this problem, MissLed women tend to hold their delusions quite strongly. They do so
with a misguided certainty, regardless of any contradictory or invalidating evidence.
Delusions, much like fantasy, are a powerful, seductive, ego defense mechanism. Just like
ignorance, however, they are often a blissful escape - but short-lived ones. The damage
they inflict are often pervasive and profound.  Consider the impact that holding delusions
has on MissLed women's personal lives. Regardless of their personal circumstances, some deludely
claim they "deserve" to be loved by a wonderful man. Others dangerously delude themselves regarding
their financial status.  This happens when they hold the delusion that they can afford a luxury
item, despite the fact that it is far outside their budget.  Similarly, some are deluded into
believing that they can pay off their credit card debt (when they are actually headed to a humiliating,
destructive bankruptcy).
Even delusions of grandeur are on the rise among MissLed women.
Given all the media and cultural encouragement of female empowerment, this is not
surprising. Pumped up with exclamations of "go girl" from parents and school,
too many have an overestimation of own importance, their personal worth,
or attractiveness. Witness the women proudly proclaiming themselves as princesses, divas,
or even bitches (all of which imply power and majesty, and therefore rationalizing their expectations
of special treatment).Too many MissLed women misperceive that they are
much more talented, intelligent, powerful and influential than they really are.
Often this delusion is accompanied by a sense of entitlement and unrealistic
expectations. 
Harboring delusions can significantly impact MissLed women's health:
"Allowing delusion to focus your attention on short-term gains blocks
the fulfillment of long-term core needs. The result can be serious consequences
to your overall emotional and physical health. Once immersed in a
delusional reality, you lose your ability to separate fact from fiction."
Carl Alasko, Ph. D.,  Emotional Bullshit, (NY:  Penguin Books, 2008) 21.

Delusions can also serve as enablers for MissLed women who want to avoid
responsibility or accountability:
"Delusion can also help you "defend" yourself (unethically) from being
held accountable for a deliberate violation. If you're accused of doing
something dishonest or deceitful, all you have to do is protest loudly,
"I didn't do it! I'm innocent!" If your objection is emphatic and frequent,
you can create a delusional "alternate reality of innocence." "
Carl Alasko, Ph. D.,  Emotional Bullshit, (NY:  Penguin Books, 2008) 21-22.

For many deluded MissLed women, even extensive personal experience is no teacher:

"With more years of life experience behind us, we should be able
to perceive the world more accurately - to distinguish delusions
of hope from hard-core reality.  We should, but we don't." Tali Sharot, The Optimism Bias: 
A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain, (NY: Vintage Books, 2012) xiv.

Finally, many MissLed women harbor damaging delusions regarding changing men. They see themselves as relationship Florence Nightingales.  In their deluded minds, their love has magic healing power.  What they are actually doing, however, is projecting their own wishes and desires.  They are delusionally attempting to impose their own standards of the type of behaviors/expectations to"hold men up" to.
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/florence-nightingale-why-needing-to-fixhealhelp-in-the-name-of-love-is-unhealthy-p1/
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/florence-nightingale-women-that-fixhealhelp-and-empathy-vs-sympathy/

As far as possible, MissLed women must strive to eliminate both delusions and illusions
in their lives.  It is crucial to enable them to perceive their world more clearly:
"Understanding everyday illusions will lead you to recalibrate
the way you approach your life to account for the limitations - and
the true strengths - of your mind...Ultimately, seeing through
the veils that distort how we perceive ourselves and the world will
connect you - for perhaps the first time - with reality."  Christopher
Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla, (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) xiii.
It is also crucial for the health of MissLed women's personal relationships:
"Delusion is a psychological processes that has no useful roles in adult relationships.
In relationships, you delude yourself about another person at your risk and peril." Carl Alasko,
Emotional Bullshit, 20.
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ASSUMPTIONS
An assumption is something  presupposed or taken for granted. Usually it is something MissLed women
previously learned and never question. It is part of MissLed women's system of beliefs. They assume their
beliefs to be true and use them to interpret the world about them.
They neither question nor examine the accuracy or validity of them. 
Humans make hundreds of assumptions without knowing it - without thinking about it. While many
assumptions are sound and justifiable, too many are clearly not. For MissLed women, the
root of many of their problems in thinking often lies with false assumptions. Because assumptions are usually
unconscious, they often embody prejudices, biases, and one-sided beliefs.

MissLed women's propensity for misguided assumptions can lead to profound misunderstandings
and conflicts. There's a good reason for the popularity of the joke, "When you A-S-S-U-M-E,
you make an ASS, out of U, and ME." It is not only good for a chuckle, but, far too often,
rings true to life for MissLed women.

For MissLed women, the following is the typical, misguided progression of
their Assumptions:
Ignorance Assumption --> Idiocy Assumption --> Evil Assumption
When confronted with people who do not agree with them, MissLed women start with the
Ignorance assumption ("You just don't understand all the facts as well as I do!").

They then proceed to the Idiocy assumption ("Ok, you do understand the facts, but you
are too stupid to see them as I do!").
Finally, they proceed to the Evil assumption ("You may understand
these facts but you are evil and so arrive at the wrong conclusions!").
Not surprisingly, then,  a proclivity for these often unwarranted assumptions often leads
MissLed women's into serious personal difficulties.  Such behavior tends to
alienate their friends, family, and colleagues.
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Much of what is wrong with human thought can be found in the uncritical or unexamined assumptions that underlie it
Assumptions are potentially problematic when they remain invisible. Since MissLed women are
sometimes not properly aware of the beliefs they take for granted, they are in no position to consider evidence presented for or against them.
 They assume our beliefs to be true and use them to interpret the world about
 us. If their beliefs are sound ones, their assumptions are sound. If, however, their beliefs are
not sound, their assumptions are not sound. Beliefs, and hence assumptions, can be
unjustified or justified, depending upon whether they do or do not have good reasons
 for them. Humans naturally and regularly use  beliefs as assumptions and make inferences based
on those assumptions. They must do so to make sense of where they are, what they are about, and
what is happening. Assumptions and inferences permeate their lives precisely because they
cannot act without them. They make judgments, form interpretations, and come to conclusions
based on the beliefs they have formed.
Humans also continually make assumptions about themselves, their jobs, mates, students,
 children, the world in general. Humans make hundreds of assumptions without knowing it---without thinking about it. Many assumptions are sound and justifiable. Many, however, are not, and those get MissLed women into trouble.
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CONFUSIONS
In today's turbulent, rapidly changing and increasingly confusing society, MissLed women
are particularly prone to confusion.  Illusions, Delusions and PC brainwashing all
contribute significantly to their confusions. 
What are MissLed women typically confused about?  First and foremost, many don't seem to have a  moral compass.
Left to their own moral devices, they are easily and often left puzzled and confused.  Simple concepts such as whether to
perceive actions as "fair" or "right" "normal," or "mean" confuse them.
Many are also confused about what to do with their new personal freedoms.  Sex, career options,
personal obligations - all cause confusion and consternation for many women (as they always
have for men). Lastly, many seem perpetually confused by men (mainly because they expect men to think, feel,
and perceive as they do). 
Society feeds their increasing number of confusions by continuously encouraging them to "follow
their hearts" and trust their supposedly reliable
intuition. At the same time, it promotes education and the pursuit of career "success"
as the most important goals for "happiness."
Much of what it preaches is grossly misleading - the messages don't match their resultant
realities. Is it any wonder that so  many women struggle with confusions and don't
know their best path for happiness?

For many MissLed women, confusion reigns supreme when reality inevitably imposes itself in their lives.
Such frustrating confusion results in finally, inevitably is DISILLUSION.
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DISILLUSIONS
These feelings of disenchantment set in when MissLed women frustratingly discover that they
have been deceived. They finally understand that the fairy tales told to them by Disney and
their parents have no relation to reality as an adult. They finally realize that the other illusions, beliefs, or other misguided convictions or ideals they held so dear
are not valid. That the romantic comedies and so-called romance novels don't depict anything close to real life.
That having a successful career won't make them happy, personally fulfilled, or more attractive
to men.
Is the best explanation for why so many MissLed women are resentful in mid life - as shown by their
dour dispositions, worry lines, walled-off personas and, ultimately, their common
filings for divorce - their realization that they've been LIED TO ALL THEIR LIVES?
They realize that fairy tales don't come true; that life is not fair; karma isn't
real; soul mates don't exist; and that their expectations for romance are unrealizable
and, finally, that their version of "love" doesn't last forever. Some, having lost their
dreams, and descend to bitterness or resentment. They feel themselves shortchanged by life's broken promises.
In today's culture of blame, something - or someone - therefore must be to blame for having
wasted their precious time on futile fantasies.  Most often, that someone is MEN.

===================================================
DISSOLUTIONS:  Their illusions, delusions, confusions, assumptions and disillusions too often
ultimately result in dissolutions. Breakdowns, disintegrations, disruptions are too
common among MissLed women.  In the worst cases, terminations of their beliefs, relationships,
close friendships are the price of the MissLedness. For many MissLed women, Dissolutions are
the last stage - the end; the liquidation of so much effort, time, and expense.  What a
horrendous price many women for being MissLed!