Wishful thinking results from the formation of beliefs and decisions according to what
might be pleasing for MissLed women to hope - or imagine - to be true. They think
this way instead of relying on evidence, rationality or, most daunting for them,
facing (an often unpleasant) reality.
Tellingly, MissLed women often overuse the words SHOULD, FAIR, OUGHT, WISH, and HOPE.
These are indicative of their propensity for wishful thinking. Such word usage is consistent
with their preference for a fantasy land of escapism. Psychologically, their wishful thinking
stems from believing something because of their desire or wish that it be true.
Not surprisingly, given the popularity of positive
thinking today, Optimism bias is a prominent type of wishful thinking
among MissLed women. It is shown by their tendency to be overly optimistic
about the outcome of planned actions.
MissLed wishful thinkers (regardless of circumstances) tend to consistently predict positive
outcomes. However, any positive outcomes credited to their wishful thinking are usually a short-term mirage.
This brief period is known as the “dream stage.” This make-believe can never be
reconciled with the actual situation. Soon enough, however, reality sets in, and a “frustration stage”
follows. Things then start to go wrong, prompting a more determined effort to keep the fantasy
in being. As the truth becomes no longer avoidable, they proceed to their “nightmare stage,” when everything
goes wrong. This culminates in an “explosion into reality,” when their fantasy
finally falls apart. The degree of damage done by this explosion varies, but is often
quite significant.
Magical thinkers associate a particular
action with a desired result, even though there is no logical connection between
the two. MissLed women are often fooled by magical thinking because they allow their all-too-
human, hardwired processes of attention and awareness to be manipulated. In fact, most
MissLed women's superstitious beliefs are readily explainable by the principles of magical
thinking. In an increasingly confusing and impersonal world, seeking to allay their anxieties
and feel in control, too often they misguidedly look for patterns and meaning.
Magical thinking is the extreme, often most damaging, type of wishful thinking:
"In Psychology, 'magical thinking' refers to the nonscientific reasoning an individual relies on
to "wish" situations into being or to practice denial when faced with unpleasant scenarios."
Bonnie Eaker Weil, Financial Infidelity, (NY: Penguin Group, 2008) 58.
"“Magical thinking” (as it has been called) is defined as the belief that an object, action or
circumstance not logically related to a course of events can influence its outcome. In other words,
stepping on a crack cannot, given what we know about the principles of causal relations, have any
direct effect on the probability of your mother breaking her back. Those who live in fear of such a
tragedy are engaging in magical thought and behaving irrationally." "Why "Magical Thinking" Works for Some People,"
By Piercarlo Valdesolo, October 19, 2010,
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=superstitions-can-make-you&page=2
1. Objects carry essences. What’s your memorabilia collection like these days? According to this
first rule, we attribute special properties to items that belong or once belonged to someone we love,
is famous, or has a particular quality we admire...The fact of the matter is that the objects are just
those, objects, and despite their connection with special people in our lives, they have no inherent
ability to transmit those people’s powers to us.
2. Symbols have power. Humans have a remarkable tendency to impute meaning not only to objects but to
abstract entities. We imbue these symbols with the ability to affect actual events in our lives.
3. Actions have distant consequences. In our constant search to control the outcomes of events in our
seemingly unpredictable lives, we build up our own personal library of favorite superstitious rituals or thoughts.
4. The mind knows no bounds...Another manifestation of this rule is our tendency to believe that if we
think positive thoughts about a person in trouble, our thoughts can truly help that person, even if that
person is thousands of miles physically removed from us.
5. The soul lives on... It’s our desire to avoid thinking about our own mortality that leads us...
to invent and hold onto a belief in the afterlife.
6. The world is alive...we share the young child’s belief in animism, which is one key feature of preoperational thought.
In other words, we attribute human-like qualities to everything from our pets to our iPhones.
7. Everything happens for a reason. The most insidious form of magical thinking is our tendency to believe that there is a purpose or destiny that guides what happens to us.
"Our Superstitious Minds: The 7 Laws of Magical Thinking, by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D.
Published on May 8, 2012
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201205/our-superstitious-minds-the-7-laws-magical-thinking
Indeed, MissLed women who engage in magical thinking seek only to confirm what they hope to be
true. The more effective method of thinking is to compare their hope versus the known
facts to ensure that they aren't thinking with a bias.
"Magical Thinking: Even hard-core skeptics can't help but find sympathy in the fabric of the universe
- and occasionally try to pull its strings."
By Matthew Hutson, published on March 01, 2008
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200802/magical-thinking
Indeed, the just world hypothesis is common, especially among Americans:
"You want the world to be fair, so you pretend it is." David McRaney, You are Not So Smart, (NY: Gotham Books, 2012) 109.
"People tend to believe that the world is inherently just. The wicked are eventually punished, the good
are rewarded, and problems are corrected. In other words, they believe that people get what they deserve." Fool Me Twice 282.
Any relief offered by magical thinking, however, is merely temporary, through
the placebo effect.
Why Does It Matter?
Wishful thinking is not merely harmless frivolity, coming from a well-intended MissLed woman.
In fact, when their hopes inevitably are dashed, the results are unnecessary
disappointments, disillusions, and even to despair. Such a widespread mindset contributes
significantly to the current state of affairs in the USA:
"Extremes in thinking and a vacuum in the middle where fact and reason used to dwell lately
characterize the national state of mind...Wishful thinking is another symptom of our impaired consensus."
James Howard Kunstler, Too Much Magic: Wishful Thinking, Technology and the Fate of the Nation, (NY:
Grove/Atlantic, 2012) 2-3.
After all, the risks of indulging in magical thinking are quite serious:
- Not making the necessary effort to achieve our goals. If we believe, for example, in the Power of Attraction as popularized by the book, The Secret, then we're at risk for believing all we have to do is put out a clear enough visualization of what we want and wait for it to come to us. Unfortunately, we may find ourselves waiting a long time. How often do you find yourself hoping for something to happen when you should be doing something to make it happen?
- Making bad choices. Five of the 16 medications my patient has now refused to take are blood pressure medications. As a result, her blood pressure has remained uncontrolled for several years, placing her at significantly higher risk for strokes and heart attacks.
Magical thinking remains a subtle obstacle to making good decisions. But the more we observe ourselves, the more we can reduce our tendency to indulge in it:
- Consciously identify your desires and biases. Write them down. Try to identify their cause. Work to free yourself from them to the best of your ability.
- Demand proof when proof seems demonstrable. Try to remain intellectually "agnostic" toward what hasn't been proven or isn't provable, even if you find yourself emotionally inclined to believe it. Try to regard your belief as just that—an inclination—so that you're not tempted to act with more confidence in your belief than is justified.
- Beware the tendency to let others think for you. This is as insidious as it is widespread. A journalist presents a position about a topic of the day and has his or her opinion accepted as fact. One friend makes a statement about another and everyone accepts it as true without bothering to investigate themselves. Though I don't agree with many of the principles espoused by Ayn Rand in her book, The Fountainhead, the point she makes about how so many of us subjugate our judgment to others is worth taking to heart (a great read, by the way, which I highly recommend).
Magical Thinking
How to avoid an insidious thought error
WHY DOES WISHFUL THINKING MATTER?Too much Disneyfied thinking (that life is magical) in MissLed women leads to poor decision making and
unrealistic expectations. Within such a mindset, they wrongly think they "deserve" happiness,
success, fairness, and love. Why? In their thoughts, they are "special," a "princess," and "amazing."
In such rarefied air of expectations, they feel they DESERVE the best of everything.
In stark contrast, Dignified Thinking (I'll create a wonderful life), on the other hand,
is the habit of non-MissLed women. Most often, the former struggles and only strives, whereas the
latter prospers and thrives
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Jonathon Baron, Judgment Misguided: Intuition and Error in Public Decision Making,(Oxford: Oxford U. Press, 1998)
"People tend to believe what they want to believe, which is often motivated by their immediate self-interest." 11.
"Uncertainty leaves room for wishful thinking, but the world is deaf to our wishes." 31.
"Uncertainty provides room for wishful thinking, and it causes resistance to new evidence." 40.
"Another type of wishful thinking is what we might call the utopian fallacy: if a proposal is not ideal, then it should not be adopted. The wishful thinking is in believing that the ideal is possible." 32.
"People support the intuitive desire for autonomy by convincing themselves that no coercion is required. They think that the goodness of people, suitably focused, will make coercion unnecessary." 32.
"Overconfidence in winning can result from wishful thinking." Jonathon Baron, Judgment Misguided: Intuition and Error in Public Decision Making,(Oxford: Oxford U. Press, 1998) 89.
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