SANCTIMONIOUSLY SANCTIONED SAMENESS
(Victim Thinking, Irrational Thinking, Wishful Thinking, Group thinking, PC Thinking)
"It may be politically correct to say that men and women think the same way and
want the same things, but if you have had any experience living with them,
working with them or managing them, you'll know that isn't true." Barbara Pease, Allan Pease,
Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love, (London: Orion Books, 2009) 11.
"Men and women are different. Not better or worse - different.
Just about the only thing they have in common is that they belong
to the same species. They live in different worlds, with different
values and according to quite different set of rules. Everyone knows
this, but very few people, particularly men, are willing to admit it...
Men and women of every culture, creed, and hue constantly argue
over their partners' opinions, behavior, attitudes, and beliefs."
Allan Pease, Barbara Pease, Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps,
(NY: Broadway Books, 2000) 3.
"Women can do ANYTHING as well or better as men." That is today's
cultural mantra, proclaimed with a near-religious fervor, and sanctioned by misguided government officials, misinformed business leaders, and mistaken individuals alike. Yet, ironically, at the same time MissLed women have been continuously fed misleading information that men and women are basically the same. Neither, however, are based in truth. Indeed, despite the well-meaning thinking behind most of its supporters, society is, in fact, living in a dangerously misguided, indeed a damaging, dreamland. How did this astounding situation come about? In large part, it stems from:
"...the honourable political motive of supporting women's equality. But equality is not
sameness. A belief in sameness here is both irrelevant to the struggle for equal rights
and inconsistent with the facts. It ignores massive evidence of sex difference in
brain and nerve structure occurring long before birth, and also behavioural differences
which are evidently independent of culture and sometimes contrary to it."
Mary Midgley, The Ethical Primate: Humans, Freedom, and Morality, (London: Routledge, 1994) 8.
"Men and women differ in specific kinds of nonverbal behaviors...
66% of females smile more than the average male does...Women engage
in more eye contact with others than men do. Men maintain more
personal space (i.e., physical distance) between themselves and others,
both when approached by others and when approaching others." Richard A. Lippa,
Gender, Nature, and Nurture, (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates,
2005) 25-26.
The damage that has resulted from the misguided notion of the essential sameness of men and women is immeasurable. Boundless unnecessary anger and frustration stem from the unrealistic expectations
that MissLed women (and many men and other women) have from the opposite sex.
Today, the relentless drive fro "fairness," coupled with the opinions and feelings of MissLed women too often
outweigh evolutionary and biological facts. Women are misguidedly idolized as the sole bastion
of goodness, nobility and wisdom. Yet, somehow, at the same time, they are also viewed by
courts and governments as hothouse flowers that wilt after hearing a single cross word.
Therefore, laws are disproportionately passed - and strongly enforced - that focus on
their protection and interests. As a result,
some women - often MissLed women - are free to pick and choose between
seeking "equality" and protection, as which suits their interest:
"The demand for equal treatment only goes as far is it advantages what is
deemed the less privileged sex." David Conway, Anthony Browne, Retreat of Reason,
(London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 77.
MissLed women are some of the staunchest proponents of the PC myth that women and men have
the same general talents and abilities. Allied with politically motivated males, they are the
sanctimonious sanctioners of the sameness of the sexes. In their overzealousness to 'prove' that women are as good (or better) than men, they don't grasp that 'equality' does not mean 'sameness.' They fail to realize that to acknowledge that overall equality of women does not imply that men and women think, feel, or act in the same ways. They are wrongheaded to claim it is 'bad' to examine the question of whether there might be gender roles that are indeed sensible, virtuous, and possibly even wonderful.
MissLed women - who often are some of Feminism's most fervent followers - also err when they strive to emulate the most base and selfish of male tendencies. Those include:
1. The strong desire for casual sex.
2. Valuing personal freedom over commitment.
3. An adult time horizon largely unencumbered by biology.
4. Personal status mostly based on career success and power.
In addition, American culture has absorbed too much of the underlying ideology
of radical feminism. It has largely succeeded in its goal to deny, downplay, and
repress differences between men and women. Indeed, the principal tenets of sexual liberalism - the obsolescence of both fixed sex roles and of heterosexual monogamy as the moral
norm - have diffused throughout society, and become part of America's conventional wisdom.
Somehow, this has happened despite the copious contradictory evidence provided by both
common sense and history. However successful in the short-term, ultimately, this drive of denial is quixotic and damaging:
"...the drive to deny them - in the name of women's liberation, marital openness, sexual
equality, erotic consumption, or homosexual romanticism - must be one of the most
quixotic crusades in the history of the species." George Gilder, Men and Marriage,
(NY: Quadrangle, 1986) vii.
Ideology aside, the differences in outcomes between the genders are, in significant part,
due to the profound contrasts between men and women's motivations:
"Men might wish to be lovable, and men can and do manage
to get women to love them (so the ability is there), but
men have other priorities, other motivations. For women,
being lovable was the key to attracting the best mate. For
men, however, it was more a matter of beating out lots of
other men even to have a chance for a mate.
Trade offs again: perhaps nature designed women to seek
to be lovable, whereas men were designed to strive, mostly
unsuccessfully, for greatness. " Roy F. Baumeister, Is There Anything Good About Men? (Oxford U. Press, 2010) 71.
MissLed women don't seem to understand that general differences between men and
women are not something best dealt with by spurious claims of female supremacy, nor by denial of biological truths. Their silence does not help counter stereotypes, their ignorance does not promote equality. A desire for justice via equality is well and good;
interchangeability, on the other hand, is a radical feminist fantasy. Men and
women are different. Period. Equal but different. In fact, differences
between men and women does not imply deficiencies in either. "Equal
treatment" is not always the same as "fair treatment".
The following are contrasting descriptions of the ways in which men and women tend to differ:
1. (Generally) Women desire to become (and perceived as) loving, affectionate, sympathetic, and generous.
Most women tend to talk through their difficulties, protect and
care for their children, and surround themselves with female support.
In contrast, the majority of men usually find success and high status
as pleasurable, Males perceive it to be crucial to attain status in order for them
to be worthy of the respect and love of attractive, agreeable women. Women's mate value,
on the other hand, isn't dependent on how many high-priced degrees and resources they accumulate.
2. (Generally) Men strive to become (and perceived as) practical, assertive, competitive, analytical,
and self-controlled. Most men
tend to bond together in hierarchical structures, finding fulfillment and affiliation in athletic teams,
military units, even in revolutionary movements. In contrast with Women, Men rarely spend their teen
and young adult years pining to fall in love and dreaming
of finding a "soul mate" with whom to share the rest of their lives. In truth, as males mature, they are
far more likely to spend their young adult years obsessing about
the women - plural - of their fantasies.
In addition, Men tend to seek:
#1 To be appreciated, respected and - contrary to many MissLed women's understanding of men - to have their feelings understood. Men, in fact, thrive when they feel validated by women and are proud of their own accomplishments. In fact, most men seek to be where they can
win. This applies to work or love. They feel even better when they have women that
assure them that they are "the best" (even if they are bending the truth a bit). Men also
prosper when women support them and build their confidence - they help them feel
like kings. Those who are fathers find satisfaction both when they lovingly prepare their children through the softer, tender times, and when those kids live up to the tough, challenging standards that they set for them.
#2 Some earned fun and laughs. Work is usually laborious and stressful enough. Time with their hobbies and buddies ease this a bit and allows them to relax and laugh. Sharing hobbies and sports with them are fun diversions and opportunities to test their skills in competition.
#3 Satisfying sex (on an age-appropriate, situational basis).
#4 To have some time alone. Men seek solitude in order to think and plan.
#5 To be appreciated and respected by their peers and loved ones.
Dennis Prager, in his weekly online column, eloquently and succinctly contrasted the
contrasts between men and women:
"Men want to be admired.
Women want a man they can admire.
Women want to be cherished.
Men want a woman they can cherish and protect and help make her feel safe.
Men can be deceived by beauty.
Women can be deceived by strength."
"What Do Women Want?," by Dennis Prager, December 28, 2010
http://www.dennisprager.com/columns.aspx?g=3ba4beea-74df-4941-a79a-8bcd9fd35b04&url=what_do_women_want
3. WOMAN'S LOVE POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
MAN'S LOVE POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a crap.
4. HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN:
Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her.
Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her.
Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her (or for her).
Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her.
Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO TREAT A MAN:
Show up naked. Bring chicken wings & cold beer. Don't block the TV - especially
during the game.
A further illustration of the general differences between men and women:
"Many (but not all) men:
- Are more comfortable with the language of logic than of emotions
- Are externally less reactive under stress
- Aren't as apt to be drained by other people's negativity
- Have an easier time setting limits with others
- Are bottom-line and results-oriented when solving problems, less
interested in processing emotions to get there
- Gravitate toward doing before being
"Many (but not all) women
- Have a greater ease with intuition
- May trust the heart more instinctively
- More readily express emotions
- Want to process emotions as a way of solving problems
- Gravitate toward being before doing" Judith Orloff, Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from
Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, (NY: Three Rivers Press, 2009) 30.
Yet another striking contrast between men and women is shown by women's increased
level of self-awareness and self-focus in their speaking styles:
"Women view men's speaking styles as blunt and uncaring; men view women's as indirect and obscure."
James W. Pennebaker, The Secret Life of Pronouns, (NY: Bloomsbury Press, 2011) 45.
"Women use first-person pronouns, or I-words, more than men. People's pronouns track their
focus of attention...Research suggests that women, on average, are more self-aware and
self-focused than are men." James W. Pennebaker, The Secret Life of Pronouns, (NY: Bloomsbury Press, 2011) 40.
Another of the primary major differences between women and men lies in how they focus. In general, men's focus - which impacts what they choose to study, pay closest attention to,
admire, and prioritize - is singular. This contrasts greatly with women's:
"Men are single focused. This means that they pay attention to one thing at a
time. Because they have diffuse awareness, which provides the ability to multi-task,
women make the mistake of interpreting single focus as being stupid or stubborn.
It is not. It is just a different way of thinking that is extremely effective
for many purposes.
Because we have not understood single focus, we do things that really do not
work for men and give us very poor results. For example, we interrupt a man
while he is focused on something and expect him to shift to paying attention
to our topic or our needs. Or we get between a man and the object of his
focus, whether it is the TV, the newspaper or food when he is hungry. It
doesn’t go well, as I am sure you know...The next time a man is
watching TV – or fishing, or driving – and you plop down next to him
and ask him, “What are you thinking about?” When he says, “Nothing,”
believe him. A glorious benefit of single focus is getting to think
about nothing."
"Never Be Ignored by a Man Again"
by Alison A. Armstrong
C:\Users\DENNIS\Documents\PAX Programs - Never Be Ignored by a Man Again.html
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him with peace
4. Don't check his phone
5. Don't bother him with his movements
So what's so hard about that?
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:
It's really not too difficult but.... To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a plumber
10. a mechanic
11. a carpenter
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. Go shopping with her
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.
BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT
53. never forget
*birthdays
*anniversaries
*Valentine's day
(These both entertain and amuse because they are both humorous and contain
quite a bit of truth).
As shown in
humor, science, and the arts such as music and poetry, however, the gulf between the sexes physically, mentally,
and emotionally is wide and profound. Wise, rational and realistic women understand and accept
this. They turn to their fellow ladies for the majority of their needs for sensitivity,
compassion and empathy. In other words - they get their friendship needs from other women.
MissLed women, however, misguidedly expect their men to be like their female friends. Or, if
the men are clearly not, they naively expect them to promptly and enthusiastically alter their
behavior accordingly.
With so many cultural myths and misleading media messages bombarding MissLed women
since their childhoods, many of them then misguidedly expect men to think and
behave like their fellow females. If they don't - they expect them
to toe the line and learn how. Once again, unsurprisingly, this wrongheaded notion leads many of them to unnecessary frustration.
The simple truth remains that men and women just do not interact with the
universe - or even perceive it - in the same manner. To expect men to do so is a recipe
for persistent disappointments and misunderstandings for MissLed women.
One of the most absurd and misleading myths which has
recently been in vogue is that many women can experience sex like men. In truth, however, women don't desire sexes intensely, or as frequently as, men. Most men are, in fact, vastly much more preoccupied with,
and more consistently interested in, sex throughout life. In contrast,
most women's' sex drives are much more fragile and changeable. In fact, men's intense
interest in having sex with a variety of women is well established in history. Its commonality across
cultures has been demonstrated by the latest findings in science. Men spend a vastly greater amount
of time and resources either viewing (pornography, strippers, sexy waitresses) women, or attempting
to bed them. This vividly demonstrates the contrast between the intensity and scope of each gender's interest in sex.
Truth is, most women, in fact, think about sex only sporadically, whereas
men do so nearly every waking hour of the day. (Predominantly because of the power of the visual
on men's libido).
Unfortunately, these facts haven't prevented some MissLed women from foolishly trying to ape male sexuality. For most of them, significant emotional pain, frustration, and even personal disaster are the direct results. Some spend a significant portion of their lives engaging in sexual practices
that are often quite damaging, at times even self-destructive:
"Many women, at some point, go through a period, maybe a long period,
of having too much sex with too many people they don't really know.
Sometimes this can create serious problems." Mira Kirshenbaum, Women and Love: Finding True
Love While Remaining True to Yourself, (NY: Harper Perennial, 2000) 167.
Indeed, evolutionary forces have shaped men and women's general sexual tendencies and tastes to be
strikingly different. Specifically, most men and women experience sexually attraction
and fantasy in vastly different ways:
"Men generally relax their level of selectivity when short-term mating, whereas women's standards,
especially for "sexiness," go up when short-term mating. Men are more willing than women to engage
in sex with partners outside of their long-term partnership, and when men have affairs they have them
with larger numbers of sex partners. Men are overwhelmingly more likely to have sexual fantasies involving
many short-term partners, and the content of men's pornography consumption, compared to women, contains
themes of short-term sex with multiple partners. Men are more likely to pay for short-term sex, they
express desires for larger numbers of sex partners over various time intervals, and they tend to seek
sex sooner, after a briefer time delay, than women. Men are more likely than women to express "regret"
about missed sexual opportunities, and men have more "unrestricted" sociosexual attitudes than women. Some
of these findings have been replicated across dozens of samples in very large international studies, in
representative samples of entire national populations, and in large scale meta-analyses, such as the robust
sex differences reliably-observed in studies of extramarital sexual behavior and permissive attitudes toward
casual sex...." "Men, Women, and Interplanetary Promiscuity," By David P. Schmitt, Ph.D., Feb 16 2012,
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sexual-personalities/201202/men-women-and-interplanetary-promiscuity
What men and women find sexually attractive is often strikingly different:
"Stated simply, women are more sexually attracted to people and personalities,
men to body parts and pleasurable sexual practices." Richard A. Lippa,
Gender, Nature, and Nurture, (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates,
2005) 30.
"Most men's fantasies are sexual fantasies, and most women's are
relationship" fantasies...Men tend...to rehearse and fantasize about what
they will make happen, while women tend to rehearse and fantasize about
things that will happen to them." Connell Cowan, Melvyn Kinder, Smart
Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones, (NY:
New American Library, 1985) 10.
Unlike men's, women's desire for sex tends to be purposeful and careful:
"Men experience sexual fantasies and sexual arousal about
once a day compared to about once a week in women and men more
often fantasize about someone they have not yet had sex with while
women tend to rerun past sexual encounters. Because of this
disparity in motivation, the frequency of intercourse depends on
the woman's rather than the male's willingness." Anne Campbell,
A Mind of Her Own: The Evolutionary Psychology of Women, (Oxford: Oxford U. Press) 42.
While women are misguidedly encouraged to "experiment" with their sexuality and then marry - if ever - later in life, there's a great risk to this tactic. Those who choose such
sexual freedom risk STDs and accidental pregnancies and take a significant risk that
they will never find a long-term mate. There's also no evolutionary advantage to women
for being sexually promiscuous:
"From an evolutionary perspective, women have very little incentive to have
loads of lovers." Jena Pincott, Do Gentleman Really Prefer Blondes?, (NY:
Delta, 2009) 189.
Sanctioned sexuality sameness, while very common, isn't the only damaging and misleading notion about women and men. The triumph of the belief that human behavior is primarily socially directed instead of influenced by nature has also increases the amount of confusion and misinformation. In fact, the persistent denial of the power of human nature has infected everything from media, to gender relations to economics. Nurture (which MissLed women tend to champion) misguidedly been identified as the predominant factor in influencing the behavior
of men and (especially MissLed) women. The candid expression of gender differences, and open
discussion of the positive and negative tendencies and dispositions of each, are all-too-rare.
In fact, in today's media and academia, most tiptoe around, or
even deny, the natural differences which are obvious to anyone with eyes and
ears. This is both damaging and dangerous. A truly just,
equal-opportunity society is one which safeguards the right
of women to behave in the ways that are traditionally female. The same society can not, however, let stand unchallenged the
concept that they can be fully human only when they imitate men in most things. Nor can it
prop up the falsehood that they must exercise influence in the same way as men.
Thankfully, recent scientific discoveries have begun to accumulate a veritable
avalanche of evidence. It convincingly demonstrates the general, innate
differences between men and women. Hopefully, this information - from respected thinkers
such as Steven Pinker and from accomplished female writers such as Louann Brizendine,
will continue to make inroads into the current mainstream nonsensical thoughts on gender.
The reality remains, however much it may frustrate and disappoint MissLed women, that
men and women have different, general mental abilities:
"Many researchers have documented that the distributions of talents
and temperaments for men and women are not identical. In tests of mental
rotation of 3-D objects, for instance, the average score for men is higher;
in tests of verbal fluency, the average score for women is higher. Averages
are only averages, of course; some women are better spatial thinkers than most
men, and some men are more verbally fluent than most women. Yet when people hear
about this research, they tend to mangle it into the claim that every last
man is better than every last woman (or vice-versa)." Stephen Pinker,
The Stuff of Thought, (NY: Viking, 2007) 85-86.
Indisputably, then, men and women tend to communicate differently, behave differently,
and think differently. Society has recently attempted to deny or smother these differences, and the resultant
failure to stifle such powerful tendencies have lead to much self-inflicted anguish, confusion and suffering. The fact of the matter is,
it is impractical, inefficient and infinitely costly to pretend that
women and men are the same:
"They are part of the human inheritance. They reflect strengths and
priorities that served us well during the overwhelmingly long history
of hunting and gathering. When definable skills are masked or distorted,
the community may be deprived of excellent mathematicians or skillful
communicators because measures of ability have been gerrymandered." Lionel Tiger, The Decline of Males,
(NY: St. Martin's Press, 2000) 214.
In addition to differences in gender-based talents, the influence of hormones on
male and female behaviors is not currently widely acknowledged. These include, most prominently, the
receptors for sex hormones. Variations in these hormones,
especially before birth, can exaggerate or minimize the
typical male and female patterns in cognition and personality.
In fact, the hormones predominant in males lead to action, focus
and, often, to seek competitive and rigidly hierarchical professions
such as law. Ironically, females tend to outperform males in the early stages of life. Girls tend to have
better language skills and discipline, while boys are more prone to dyslexia, autism and
other limiting conditions. As they reach adulthood, women's hormones motivate them to focus on empathy and
social interaction. Therefore, they tend to choose careers that emphasize caring
and socializing with others - such as teachers or social workers.
Recent scientific findings also show a striking contrast between the male and female brain.
Specifically, in terms of the emotional life, the typical female brain is an eight-lane superhighway.
In stark contrast, the average male brain is a narrow path in the forest. Subsequently, women tend to be much better than
men at empathizing and understanding others. Such differences predispose profound
differences in thinking and behavior:
"The wiring of our brain in the womb and the effect of hormones will
determine how we think and behave." Allan Pease, Barbara Pease, Why Men
Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps, (NY: Broadway Books, 2000) 6.
As has been shown, no matter how much the media and some MissLed women clamor
for making things as they feel they "ought to be," many gender-specific traits are
fixed. They are, in fact, deeply rooted in human evolution and genetics. They can't be socialized or
legislated away. Nor can they - or should they be - ignored. There ARE inherent differences between the
sexes, and these must be recognized for what they are. Simply put, it is a PC
myth that men and women have (or, should have) the same general interests and capabilities.
Still, many MissLed women refuse to believe that gender behavioral tendencies are innate. Many persist
with the claim that they stem predominantly from how society teaches, rewards, or treats men and women differently.
Many insist that
one of the primary factors that explain sex differences is the socialization of children:
"The idea that early childhood training determines sex differences so pervades
works in social science that it now permeates public beliefs as well." John Marshall
Townsend, What Women Want - What Men Want, (Oxford: Oxford U. Press: 1998) 240.
Even when faced with strong scientific evidence, many MissLed women will only grudgingly concede
that men and women have a small physical difference. However, they'll continue to insist
that no significant emotional, psychological, temperamental or intellectual differences exist.
Science's new brain studies, buttressed by the wisdom of the ages, clearly show their stubborn
denial to be misguided. In fact, sex differences - driven by hormonal and brain differences -
not only exist, but remain a fixed aspect of the very nature of each gender. MissLed women's insistence on such a patently false premise carries increasing and profound social, psychological, and financial costs.
Only while living at in unprecedented level of safety and
comfort has it been possible to attempt to prove promote the extremely dubious notion that men and women
have the same innate abilities and seek after identical outcomes from love,
sex, and life. It is as though a safe, wealthy society was bored and decided to try a gender sameness experiment.
Unfortunately, it is a misguided and miserable failure. Thanks to this misbegotten idea,
there is considerable turmoil and discontent in interpersonal relations in the bedroom,
in the classroom, and in the boardroom.
Despite the increasingly undeniable damage done to both women and men, however, few women or men dare to speak out against it.
One widely-respected academic, scientist, and author, however, found the courage to speak openly on the taboo subject of sex differences:
"At some point in the history of the modern women's movement,
the belief that men and women are psychologically
indistinguishable became sacred. The reasons are understandable:
Women really had been held back by bogus claims of essential
differences. Now anyone who so much as raises the question of
innate sex differences is seen as "not getting it" when it
comes to equality between the sexes. The tragedy is that
this mentality of taboo needlessly puts a laudable cause on
a collision course with the findings of science and the
spirit of free inquiry."
The New Republic Online, "The Science of Differences: Sex Ed"
by Steven Pinker
Feb 14, 2005
http://pinker.wjh.harvard.edu/articles/media/2005_02_14_newrepublic.html
Yet again, misbeliefs regarding the sameness of men and women impact MissLed women wear it
hurts most - their relationships. In fact, almost without exception, when it comes to mating, men have a strong innate preference for young, healthy and attractive women for sexual relationships. In stark contrast, women tend to
look for committed relationships with men of wealth (resources) and status. Even among so-called
"liberated" individuals, these statements are admitted to be true - at least in private. When
it comes to selecting a mate, women's economic status, their occupations, and to some extent,
personalities are largely irrelevant to most men. Within relationships, men tend to want to minimize
their investment in time and resources; women tend to want to maximize a man's investment in caring and resources.
The misbelief that women are not paid the same amount for the same job as men feeds also many
women's frustrations. It is the source of much unfortunate, and unnecessary, frustration
and bitterness for them. Yet, ironically, it is patently false. Consider the so-called glass ceiling. In fact,
it is a media-driven myth. Women, in fact, are not restricted from the top jobs by unfair discrimination
or a male conspiracy. The truth is much more mundane. The majority of women don't seek the top positions. Rather, they voluntarily chose to focus
their energies on other priorities - usually family ones:
"Men rate the important satisfactions in work as power, profit, independence, and prestige. Women
prefer jobs offering them interesting work, social recognition, social interaction, and social service.
Men have to "sell their souls." Women can afford the "luxury" of cherishing theirs, since the world's work is not the main focus of their lives." Helen Block Lewis, Psychic War in Men and Women, (NY: New York U. Press, 1976) 200.
Often, their choice to nurture their family life and not pursue sixty to eighty hours a week at the job limits their potential for promotion. The statistics cited by MissLed women (who, often, don't fully understand them) who claim pay inequality are purported to based on the men and women in the same occupation. This is misleading.
The statistics are not focused on the critical issue - they are not based
on the exact same job. They therefore fail to take in consideration the wide variety
of salaries in most occupations. Women, in fact, tend to work fewer hours, choose less
demanding jobs, and therefore earn less than men. They choose to do so for two reasons. The first is their desire for quality time and energy on children. This has obvious effects on their
focus and ambition for their career. The second is their persistent aversion for dirty and dangerous work. In stark contrast, men are much more willing to take on dirty, uncomfortable,
physically demanding (and thus well-paying) jobs. Unpleasant working conditions
significantly account for the "pay gap":
"Pay equity for women is found not in board rooms and corner offices, but behind
the wheel of a semi, driving forty tons of steel through
an icy mountain pass in January. Inclusion and parity is
in the blistered hands that hold shovels and hammers; in
the Bering Sea, laboring like a dog in unthinkable cold
and fifty foot swells; in facing down sociopaths with knives
in the darkened back alleys of urban America."
"The Wages of Spin"
by Paul Elam
antimisandry.com/equal-but-different/wages-spin-20617.html
MissLed women wrongheadedly claim that it is an injustice that pay isn't exactly the same,
when, in fact, their choices are largely responsible for the difference:
"In the literature on the pay gap and in the media more generally, this state of affairs typically
leads to cries of injustice. The presumption is that women pursue reduced or flexible hours because
men refuse to take equal responsibility for the children and because the United States does not have
imposition on their ambitions, and a source of profound inequity. But is this attitude accurate? Do
women want to be working more, if only the kids—and their useless husbands—would let them? And do we
know that more government support would enable them to do so and close the wage gap?
Actually, there is no evidence for either of these propositions:
'If women work fewer hours than men do, it appears to be because they want it that way...In fact, women choose fewer hours - despite the resulting gap in earnings - all over the world."
"Why the Gender Gap Won’t Go Away. Ever.
Women prefer the mommy track" by Kay S. Hymowitz
http://city-journal.org/2011/21_3_gender-gap.html
Another explanation for the gap in earnings between men and women also has nothing to do
with gender discrimination. It does, however, have very much to do with negotiating ability.
MissLed women's lack of effectiveness in negotiation is directly related to their deficiency
in constructing and articulating good arguments. In truth, many of them simply lack the
assertiveness, experience, and fortitude to ASK for a salary equitable to men's:
"Asking can be hard, especially for women. One reason women earn less is that they
don't ask and they feel uncomfortable negotiating." Deborah Collins Stephens, Michealene
Cristini Risley, Jackie Speier, Jan Yanehiro, This is Not the Life I Ordered, (SF: Conari Press,
2007) 178.
Finally, three further facts negate MissLed women's unfair pay claim. Firstly, single, childless women earn about 8 percent more than single, childless men. This, of course, tends to negate any claim that differences in pay are due to discrimination against women. Secondly, women voluntarily choose professions that pay less because they are safer and more comfortable:
"Many occupations remain highly sex segregated. Among the occupations in the United States
that remain 90 percent or more female are bank teller, receptionist, registered nurse,
and preschool and kindergarten teacher. Among the occupations that are less than 10 percent
female are engineer, firefighter, mechanic, and pest exterminator." Kingsley R. Browne, Biology at
Work: Rethinking Sexual Equality, (New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers U. Press, 2002) 6.
It follows, then, that women seek more pleasant jobs, that, by definition, don't warrant
high salaries:
"Consistent with the greater male variability on a variety of measures, men tend not
only to hold the highest-status jobs but the lowest-status ones...men have a virtual
monopoly on the least attractive jobs. When jobs are rated on a combination of salary,
stress, work, environment, security, and physical demands, twenty-four of the twenty
-five "worst" jobs were overwhelmingly male." Kingsley R. Browne, Biology at Work: Rethinking Sexual Equality, (New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers U. Press, 2002) 51.
Thirdly, if women are in fact paid substantially less than men for the exact same job - why would any corporations, notorious for their focus on maximizing profits and minimizing costs - ever hire men?
In the end, despite all the rhetoric, PC brainwashing, and wishful thinking, vast and varied general differences remain between men and women. Nature hands them both small, but significant advantages through specific differences in certain traits.
WHY DOES SANCTIMONIOUSLY SANCTIONED SAMENESS MATTER?
Too many women (not just MissLed women) continue to hold on to the unsupportable notion
that men and women are the same in all the essential ways. MissLed women also persist in
believing the myth that men are unfairly paid more for the same job. These false beliefs
help to maintain the too-common "women are victims, men are villains" mindset. Tragically,
these only foster misplaced anger and bitterness towards men:
"For some tangled reason, public comfort flows from the claim that
differences result from prejudice and other disreputable legacies of a
sexist past, rather from real differences based on evolutionary success.
It assumes the worst of the past, the best of the future, with little attention
to the choices made by people in the present. This is Icarus-like avoidance
of reality. It cannot be sustained without great cost, if it can be sustained at all."
Lionel Tiger, The Decline of Males, (NY: St. Martin's Press, 2000) 215.
Finally, sanctioning the PC concept of sameness between women and men ultimately disadvantages
the very people it purports to assist - women:
"Ideology, social policies, law and the media cannot in and of themselves make women
into something they are not. What we can and should do is to give people choices that
allow them the maximum freedom to be whatever they want. With that freedom,
women's nature can take its own course." Anne Campbell, A Mind of Her Own: The Evolutionary
Psychology of Women, (Oxford: Oxford U. Press, 2002) 33.
"We are left with the alternate suggestion that stereotypes are reasonably accurate assessments
of the typical differences between men and women, and that, rather than stereotypes causing sex
differences, the reverse is the case." Anne Campbell, A Mind of Her Own: The Evolutionary
Psychology of Women, (Oxford: Oxford U. Press, 2002) 7.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"...it is generally considered that 75 percent of Western women base their decisions on subjective, interpersonal values. They are ruled by their hearts - they have a feeling preference. In contrast, most men have a preference for rational, analytical decision making." 160.
**DIFFERENCES DRIVEN BY MATING... Humor is a very relatable, widespread example of how
the sexes differ and why. Men tend to be funnier than women. Why? Mating, of course: "Sex differences exist in both
the PRODUCTION and appreciation of humor...Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh,
whereas men tend to prefer women who laugh at their jokes." Glenn Geher, Scott Barry Kaufmanm,
Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love, (Oxford: Oxford U. Press, 2013)
28.
"In other research, Jennifer Hay observed, based on historical sources, that males produce humor
in courtship much more so than females. Helga Kotthoff likewise reported evidence that reported
that males were much more likely than females to produce humor in informal social situations." 28.
***Hitchens Vanity fair on men funnier
"Why are men, taken on average and as a whole, funnier than women? Well, for one thing, they had damn well
better be. The chief task in life that a man has to perform is that of impressing the opposite sex, and Mother
Nature (as we laughingly call her) is not so kind to men. In fact, she equips many fellows with very little
armament for the struggle. An average man has just one, outside chance: he had better be able to make the lady laugh."
"In addition to general intelligence, humor may also signal a person's playfulness, insight, creativity,
openness to experience, extroversion, and sociability. The fact that humor can signal so many attractive traits makes it a candidate for the mating intelligence hall of fame!" 30.
"Hubristic pride is fueled by arrogance and conceit and is associated with
anti-social behaviors, rocky relationships, low levels of conscientiousness and high
levels of disagreeableness, neuroticism, narcissism, and poor mental health
outcomes. Hubristic pride, along with its associated subjective feelings of superiority and
arrogance, may facilitate dominance by motivating behaviors such as aggression,
hostility, and manipulation."
"Authentic pride, on the other hand, is fueled by the emotional rush of accomplishment,
confidence, and success and is associated with prosocial and achievement-oriented behaviors,
extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, satisfying interpersonal relationships, and
positive mental health. is associated with genuine self-esteem, or the aspect of self-esteem
that remains after taking narcissism into account. Authentic pride, along with its associated subjective feelings
of confidence and accomplishment, may facilitate behaviors that are associated with
attaining prestige." 178.
"...many sociologists present patently fallacious and misrepresentative "explanations"
of male-female differences that deny a physiological basis to differences in
male and female modes of thought and behavior. They do so because they
fear that acknowledgement of such a physiological basis would predispose the
students to accept views of males and females that the professors find unpalatable
or politically undesirable. The professors defend as "humane" that which we
used to call LYING." Steven Goldberg, Fads & Fallacies in Social Sciences, (NY: Humanity
Books, 2003) 16.
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