1. Read more. As Lisa Bloom's recent book "Think" discusses, too many MissLed women don't read nearly
enough books or online material of substance. Being well-informed about history
and current events is both part of being a responsible adult and citizen and
beneficial to a woman's social and personal status.
2. Turn off the TV. Free time - particularly for the mind - is all too precious.
MissLed women can use the time saved by reduced television viewing to engage
their minds in more worthy pursuits. Significantly more time spent reading, participating in public or private discussions on political or social matters, or perusing the Internet for
thought-provoking, educational material such as on TED, would serve them very well.
3. Recognize and reduce the following:
- 7 Debilitative Emotions
- 7 Thinking Traps
- 7 Cognitive Mistakes
- 8 Emotional Pollutants
- 6 Irrational Inferences
4. Filter thinking to ensure that the VIEWGAP (Victim Intuitive Egocentric Wishful Group Adolescent PC) mentality isn't exposing a major weakness in it's coherence or rationality.
In particular, MissLed women will be well served to recognize that the notion of "Women's intuition" as something especially profound or reliable is mistaken:
"Intuition's Dozen Deadly Sins:
- Memory Construction - influenced by our own moods and by false information, we may form false memories and offer misleading testimonials
- Misreading our own minds - often we don't know why we do what we do
- Mispredicting our own feelings - we badly mispredict the intensity and duration of our own emotions.
- Mispredicting our own behavior - our intuitive self-predictions often go astray
- Hindsight Bias - looking back at events, we falsely surmise that we knew it all along
- Self-serving Bias - in various ways we exhibit inflated self assessments
- Overconfidence - our intuitive assessments of our own knowledge are routinely more confident than correct
- Fundamental Attribution Error - overly attributing others behavior to their dispositions by discounting unnoticed situational forces
- Belief Perseverance and Confirmation Bias - thanks partly for our preference for confirming information, beliefs are often resilient, even after the foundation is discredited
- Representativeness and Availability - fast and frugal heuristics become quick and dirty when leading us into illogical and incorrect judgments
- Framing- judgments flip flop depending on the way the same issue or information is posed
- Illusory Correlation - intuiting perceiving relationships where none exist"
and Perils, (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 128.
In fact, the optimal way to understand and utilize intuition is through the diligent training of the mind:
"Awareness that our intuition could benefit from some correction, in
realms from sports to business to spirituality, makes clear the need for
disciplined training of the mind. Intuition works well in some realms,
but it needs restraints and checks in others."
David G. Myers, Intuition: Its Powers and Perils, (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 247.
5. Choose Virtues to guide their behavior instead of "Niceness:"
"Being nice when everyone else is just PLAYING nice is not wise."
J. Littman, M Herson, I Hate People, (NY: Little, Brown and Company, 2009) 7.
"From early childhood, girls are taught that their well-being and ultimate success
is contingent upon acting in certain stereotypical ways, such as being polite,
soft-spoken, compliant, and relationship-oriented. xvi.
"Kind but firm limit setting is healthy." Judith Orloff, Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself
from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, (NY: Three Rivers Press, 2009) 130.
Niceness in a woman tends to stem from a misguided notion that being seen as a "nice girl"
will continue to be beneficial to MissLed women:
"So why do women stay in the place of girlhood long after it's productive for them? One
reason is because we've been taught that acting like a girl - even when we're grown up - isn't
such a bad thing. Girls can taken care of in ways boys don't. Girls aren't expected to fend for
or take care of themselves - others do that for them." Lois P. Frankel PhD., Nice Girls Don't Get
the Corner Office, (NY: Time Warner Books, 2004) 2.
Admittedly, a reputation as a "nice girl" can make MissLed women's lives easier in some ways. They can avoid
some conflict, or gain some short-term benefits given to them who are "nice" to them. Such pleasantries, however, are
not worth the tradeoff. Indeed, "niceness" comes at a great cost:
"Being a girl is certainly easier than being a woman. Girls don't have to take responsibility for their
destiny." Lois P. Frankel PhD., Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, (NY: Time Warner Books, 2004) 2.
6. Accept that doubt and uncertainty are inevitable, even valuable, aspects of adult life. Indeed, there are
things that are unknowable and unchangeable. Simply put, then, learn to accept the following givens:
1. Everything changes and ends.
2. Things do not always go according to plan.
3. Life is not always fair.
4. Pain is part of life.
5. People are not loving and loyal all the time.
"Each of the five main givens of life confront our deeply
held illusions. The fact that things change confronts the
illusion of permanence. The fact that plans fall through confronts
our illusion of control. Our illusion that things will be fair
or that pain will not happen to us or that people will be
trustworthy are called into question by the givens we face
in the course of life. The givens liberate us from
ignorance and illusion." David, Richo, The Five Things We Cannot Change, (Boston: Shambhala,
2005) 6-7.
7. Identify and eliminate, as much as possible, Illusions, Assumptions, Delusions, Confusions, and Disillusions.
8. Understand and accept the innate general differences between men and women.
When they do this, they can then re-set their expectations from men and women in accordance with this new, science-based
viewpoint. This enlightened perspective will help them understand themselves, their fellow women, and the
previously frustrating and mysterious beings known as men.
8a. Improve their Critical Intelligence and Critical Thinking Skills. In fact, being well-informed
and an effective critical thinker is the chief defense against credulity. MissLed
women's well-being as adults depends
on them understanding the world as close to possible as it really is:
"Gullibility tempts humans with the lure of wondrous things. The only
therapy for childlike faith is the cultivation of critical intelligence that can
examine and evaluate claims to truth and thereby achieve knowledge." Paul Kurtz,
The Transcendental Temptation: A Critique of Religion and the Paranormal, (NY:
Prometheus Books, 1987) 62.
=====================================================================
Critical Thinking Guidelines
First of all, MissLed women can't be put off by the term "critical." In truth,
it has a very constructive, pro-reasoning meaning:
"When you think "critical," don't think "criticize" ; instead, think "criteria" - as in
standards of reasoning." Peg Tittle, Critical Thinking: An Appeal to Reason, (NY: Routledge, 2011) 6.
In fact, in order to make their critical thinking more effective,
MissLed women need to strive for the following critical thinking traits:
- Curious and open mind
- Think through issues
- Analyze issues from multiple view points
- Conduct Investigatiions when needed
MissLed women need to learn to incorporate the key critical thinking concepts:
• Ask Questions: Be willing to wonder.
• Examine the Evidence - What evidence supports or refutes the argument being made?
• Analyze Assumptions and Biases - MissLed women must strive to be more aware of how their assumptions might bias their conclusions.
• Avoid Emotional Reasoning - For MissLed women, emotional reasoning is an all-too-common habit. Far too often, it clouds, or even trumps, their ability to think soundly or clearly.
• Don’t Oversimplify - MissLed women must learn to resist easy generalizations and “either-or thinking.” MissLed women must learn to not base an argument by anecdotes, wherein they generalize from a few examples to wrongly include everyone. Common example: One cheating man does not mean that all men cheat. ("They're all dogs!")
• Consider Other Interpretations - MissLed women must learn to formulate hypotheses that offer plausible explanations of the topic. The goal is to arrive at a theory that strives to explain the phenomena and their interrelationships.
• Tolerate Uncertainty - Many MissLed struggle mightily with doubt and uncertainty. Regardless, they must accept that some questions have no easy answers. They must be willing to be able to tolerate uncertainty when new evidence calls in to question their beliefs or conclusions.
"Critical Thinking," http://cla.calpoly.edu/~cslem/Invit/1/Chp1c.html#Pseudoscience%20and%20Common%20Sense
In sum, too many MissLed women don't know how to think effectively. Instead, they tend to react emotionally.
Without proper critical thinking skills, MissLed women are in the dangerous habit
of following their FEELINGS instead of thinking:
"Much thinking that people do is disorganized, biased, not thought through
or forward looking, and hurried. In the absence of experience, reasoning,
confidence and education (both formal and informal), people use feelings
and intuition as guides to decision making. This often leads to flawed
decisions and unwanted consequences in life. Feelings and intuition
are critical parts of the thinking process. However, they must be backed
up with knowledge, experience, and wisdom." Chuck W. Clayton,
The Re-Discovery of Common Sense, (Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, 2007) xvi.
MissLed women also tend to take facts (often distorted) for granted without questioning them, and their
brains are numbed by ceaseless pop culture saturation. Thinking critically
takes considerable time and effort.
In essence, MissLed women have yet to learn the ABCs...of critical thinking:
A - Argument - MissLed women's misscommunications leave them ill-equipped to engage in arguments - they
are not understood, or can't understand others who use clearer, better
stated language.
B - Biases - MissLed women are unaware of how the harmful influence that their personal biases have
on their decision-making and the formation of the beliefs in their lives.
C - Context - Time, Place, Circumstance - If context is not properly understood, their decisions are
reached without the complete picture or totality of information. By not properly
seeing situations in context, MissLed women are prone to making up their
minds too rapidly, judging unfairly, or acting too harshly.
What are the practical benefits of improved critical thinking for MissLed women?
Happily, they are significant and profound:
1. They'll be better at making informed decisions.
2. They'll be better at understanding.
3. They'll be better able to create, invent, and discover.
Chuck W. Clayton, The Re-Discovery of Common Sense, (Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, 2007) xvi-xvii.
"Critical thinkers keep on thinking. Critical thinking is the driving
force behind great human achievements and will always be so. It is
impossible to separate critical thinking from creative thinking. Use
your imagination, then put your imagination to the test. Think outside
the box, please, but then use the box to keep your thoughts from
running away." Mark Forshaw, Critical Thinking for Psychology; A Student's Guide, (West Sussex, UK: John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. 2012)
120.
"Critical thinking requires the use of self-discipline and self-examination.
The rewards are great freedom and the ability to complete projects,
achieve objectives and answer questions with confidence. When you take
charge of your mind using critical thinking and make sound decisions,
you take charge of your life!" Chuck W. Clayton, The Re-Discovery of Common
Sense, (Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, 2007) xvii.
"Critical thinking is "playing devil's advocate" as a matter of routine. The phrase
"playing devil's advocate" is a very unfortunate one: it suggests that presenting or
considering arguments for a claim you don't at the moment accept is somehow mischievous,
even evil. On the contrary, presenting or considering arguments for
a claim you don't currently accept is a good thing. It's something to be done seriously
not as a mere game. After all, how will you know what to accept if you don't consider
all the possibilities?" Peg Tittle, Critical Thinking: An Appeal to Reason, (NY: Routled
9. Improve the effectiveness of their Arguments. An increase in their logical literacy, recognition of fallacies in reasoning, and vocabulary will all help MissLed women to more effectively evaluate claims and construct and evaluate arguments.
10. Understand Quackery and examine any unproven or "alternative" medical treatments
extremely skeptically. The best way to start this process is to heed the following advice:
"Quackery is considered the promotion of false or unproven remedies for profit. Many consumer advocates
say that health fraud and quackery are so pervasive in the United States that government agencies can't
adequately handle the problem. So they urge consumers to learn how to recognize quackery and protect themselves
from it. They also say that they practitioners and promoters of quackery often have
the following characteristic behavior patterns:
1. They promise quick, dramatic, simple, painless, or drugless treatment
or cures.
2. They use anecdotes, case histories or testimonials to support claims. Prominent people
such as actors, singer, famous athletes, and, increasingly, physicians may be used in
testimonials...
3. They use disclaimers couched in pseudo medical or pseudoscientific jargon.
Instead of promising to treat or cure a specific illness or condition, they offer
to "detoxify the body," "strengthen the immune system," "balance body chemistry," or
bring the body into "harmony with nature."
4. They may display credentials or use titles that might be confused
with those of the scientific or medical community. Use of the terms
professor, doctor, or nutritionist may be spurious. Their credentials
may be from an unaccredited school or an organization that promotes nonscientific
methods.
5. The results they claim may not have been verified by others or published in a
reputable scientific journal.
6. They claim that a single product or service can cure a wide range of unrelated illnesses.
7. They claim to have a secret cure or one that is recognized in other parts of the
world but not yet known or accepted in the United States.
8. They claim to be persecuted by organized medicine and that their treatment is
being suppressed because it is controversial or because the medical establishment is "greedy" and does
not want competition.
9. They state that medical doctors should not be trusted because surgery, X rays, and
drugs cause more harm than good. They say most doctors are "butchers" and "poisoners."
10. They claim that most disease is due to a faulty diet and can be
treated by nutritional methods.
11. The use scare tactics to encourage use of the product or service advocated.
They claim that a lack of adequate intake of vitamins and minerals results in poor nutrition
that may cause troublesome conditions. They state that food additives and preservatives
may poison people.
12. They claim that most Americans are poorly nourished and need
"nutrition insurance."
13. They recommend vitamins and "health foods" for everyone.
14. They use hair analysis to determine nutritional needs.
15. They claim that natural vitamins are better than synthetic ones.
Theodore Schick, Lewis Vaughn, How to Think About Weird Things,(Columbus, OH: McGraw Hill Higher Education: 2002) 230.
A good rule of thumb to assist in the avoidance of quackery:
Anyone who makes extraordinary claims, and charging exorbitant
and unjustifiable prices for a treatment that hasn't been scrutinized by
serious scientific study, is automatically considered suspect.
Careful evaluation is needed to separate the genuinely promising,
but often quite expensive, therapies from those which are both costly
and undeserving of study. If no legitimate trials
have been done or are underway, prudent consumers must ask why. The explanation
had better be good: any variation on "it's too much trouble,"
"we don't have the resources," "we can't wait, we're too busy saving
lives," or "the system is totally biased against us" is an automatic alarm setter. Similar
rationalizations, word for word, have
been the war cry of medical amateurs and con-artists for a long time.
MissLed women's lack of critical thinking skills or understanding of
scientific jargon, and their susceptibility to emotionally appealing propaganda,
often leaves them victimized by quacks.
"Here are ten strategies to avoid being quacked:
1. Remember that quackery seldom looks outlandish.
Its promoters often use scientific terms and quote (or misquote) from scientific references. Some actually have
reputable scientific training but have gone astray.
2. Ignore any practitioner who says that most diseases are caused
by faulty nutrition or can be remedied by taking supplements.
Although some diseases are related to diet, most are not. Moreover, in most cases where diet actually is a
factor in a person's health problem, the solution is not to take vitamins but to alter the diet.
3. Be wary of anecdotes and testimonials.
If someone claims to have been helped by an unorthodox remedy, ask yourself and possibly your doctor
whether there might be another explanation. Most single episodes of disease recover with the passage
of time, and most chronic ailments have symptom-free periods. Most people who give testimonials about
recovery from cancer have undergone effective treatment as well as unorthodox treatment, but give
credit to the latter. Some testimonials are complete fabrications.
4. Be wary of pseudo medical jargon.
Instead of offering to treat your disease, some quacks will promise to "detoxify" your body, "balance"
its chemistry, release its "nerve energy," or "bring it in harmony with nature," or to correct supposed
"weaknesses" of various organs. The use of concepts that are impossible to measure enables success to be
claimed even though nothing has actually been accomplished.
5. Don't fall for paranoid accusations.
Unconventional practitioners often claim that the medical profession, drug companies, and the government
are conspiring to suppress whatever method they espouse. No evidence to support such a theory has ever
been demonstrated. It also flies in the face of logic to believe that large numbers of people would
oppose the development of treatment methods that might someday help themselves or their loved ones.
6. Forget about "secret cures."
True scientists share their knowledge as part of the process of scientific development. Quacks may keep
their methods secret to prevent others from demonstrating that they don't work. No one who actually
discovered a cure would have reason to keep it secret. If a method works—especially for a serious
disease—the discoverer would gain enormous fame, fortune and personal satisfaction by sharing the
discovery with others.
7. Be wary of herbal remedies.
Herbs are promoted primarily through literature based on hearsay, folklore and tradition. As medical
science developed, it became apparent that most herbs did not deserve good reputations, and most that
did were replaced by synthetic compounds that are more effective. Many herbs contain hundreds or even
thousands of chemicals that have not been completely cataloged. While some may turn out to be useful,
others could well prove toxic. With safe and effective treatment available, treatment with herbs
rarely makes sense.
8. Be skeptical of any product claimed to be effective against a wide
range of unrelated diseases—particularly diseases that are serious.
There is no such thing as a panacea or "cure-all."
9. Ignore appeals to your vanity.
One of quackery's most powerful appeals is the suggestion to "think for yourself" instead of
following the collective wisdom of the scientific community. A similar appeal is the idea that
although a remedy has not been proven to work for other people, it still might work for you.
10. Don't let desperation cloud your judgment!
If you feel that your doctor isn't doing enough to help you, or if you have been told that your
condition is incurable and don't wish to accept this fate without a struggle, don't stray from
scientific health care in a desperate attempt to find a solution. Instead, discuss your feelings
with your doctor and consider a consultation with a recognized expert.
"Ten Ways to Avoid Being Quacked,"
Stephen Barrett, M.D.
http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/avoid.html
11. Reject wishful thinking and the wrongheaded expectations regarding Romantic relationships. Instead, reset
their expectations and improve their self-responsibility regarding love relationships:
"Being self-responsible in romantic relationships means taking responsibility, minute-by-minute, for
our happiness and unhappiness...In order to do so, three mental adjustments are essential.
Adjustment 1: Change expectations
Expectations based on fairy tales and wishful thinking must be replaced by expectations based on
reality...We abandon conventional wisdom's impractical goal of finding or fashioning the ideal mate.
Adjustment 2: Change Reactions
...Partner-blame must be replaced by self-responsible reactions that reflect emotional maturity,
acceptance of reality and self-restraint.
Adjustment 3. Change Self
...Changing self...means continually addressing personal shortcomings." Christine Meincke, Ph.D., Everybody Marries
the Wrong Person: Turning Flawed into Fulfilling Relationships, (Far Hills, NJ: New Horizon Press, 2010) 11.
12. Stop longing for the mythical soul mate relationship. There's simply no rational reason to believe
that such a union is feasible for the vast majority of women. However, very good, loving relationships with
compatible men of good character are the best time-tested partners
for lifetime relationships.
12. Adjust their views and expectations of Friendship to reflect modern realities. Seek a mixture of friendships, which involve
reciprocity and mutually benefits all participating parties. Instead of wishing for a "BFF," they can work on being
worthy of having one or more close friends. In addition, they can seek to cultivate friendships
that are convenient, or share their interests or hobbies. Finally, avoid damaging, dangerous toxic friendships:
"To spot a toxic friendship, you need to objectively look at your friend's behaviors and your own, assess the problem, and determine whether it can be remedied." Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend, (NY: Overlook Press, 2009) 134.
MissLed women can learn to objectively identify the signs of toxic friendship from by the following guide:
"IDENTIFYING THE SIGNS OF A TOXIC FRIENDSHIP
- Does scheduling time together feel like an obligation rather than a pleasure?
- Is the friendship a constant source of irritation?
- Doe either of you feel trapped when you are together?
- Do you feel tense in each other's presence?
- Do you feel like one friend is always trying to show off at the other's expense?
- Are you there for one another when needed?
- Are either of you self-centered, sneaky, deceitful, or disloyal?
- Do one or both of you habitually show bad judgment?
- Does one friend consistently feel like she is giving more than she is getting?
- Does the relationship feel curiously out-of-sync?
- Do you feel emotionally drained when you are together?
- Do either of you come away from another feeling depressed?
- Is one friend always the "listener" and the other the "talker?"
- Do either of you dread each other's phone calls?
- Does either of you hate to see the other's screen name online when you look at your buddy list?
- Do your friends emails feel too long to read?
- Given a choice, would one of you always choose to spend time with someone other than your friend?
- Have you done anything to undermine each other personally or professionally?
- Have you simply grown in different directions?
- Can you trust each other to keep confidences?
- Has one of you betrayed the other?"
Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend, (NY: Overlook Press, 2009) 119.
13. Cease their misplaced faith in Karma and other faddish superstitions, particularly the pseudoscientific, nonsensical phenomenon known as The Secret.
14. Understand the brouhaha regarding Breast Cancer in its proper context. Put their efforts and dollars involving charitable causes to their best use - regardless of which are the most popular, emotionally or appealing. Since lives - literally - are at stake, the current controversies and feel-good organizations and events must not be above a thorough, critical examination:
“Pink ribbon culture is like any other cultural system. It has both intended and unintended consequences. If both are identified, then people can determine
how to maximize the benefits and minimize the costs.” Pink Ribbon Blues: How Breast Cancer Culture Undermines Women’s
Health, Oxford: Oxford U. Press, 2011) 19.
15. Reject the Vitriol espoused by the anti-Vaccine zealots such as the vapid, vacuous Jenny McCarthy.
There's no credible scientific evidence for their claims. In fact, a choice to not vaccinate puts
children at potential risk for diseases that were previously eradicated.
16. Strike a balance between positive and negative thinking by learning, and then practicing, Analytical thinking and Optimal thinking. Analytical thinkers seek out enough information. They know the value of data so the make the effort to gather pertinent facts and figures. The analytical thinker strives
to see both sides of a controversial issue. They realize that every issue has pros and cons, and can think of
the glass as both half full and half empty at the same time. The analytical is comfortable with being known
as Debby Downer to some and the eternal optimist to others. To be persuaded, analytical thinkers
require facts and well-reasoned arguments, not feelings or persuasive platitudes:
"The factor of analytical thinking identifies people who work to understand their world. The hallmark of analyzing
is making distinctions." James W. Pennebaker, The Secret Life of Pronouns, (NY: Bloomsbury Press, 2011) 80.
"The analytic thinking factor reflects cognition complexity. People who make distinctions in speaking and writing
make higher grades in college, tend to be more honest, and are more open to new experiences. They also read more
and have more complex views of themselves." James W. Pennebaker, The Secret Life of Pronouns, (NY: Bloomsbury Press, 2011) 81.
Optimal thinking also provides major practical advantages. It tends to lead to the best results - minimal mistakes, less
avoidable failures and disappointments, and more realistic expectations:
"Optimal Thinking is not optimism (hoping for the best). Optimal Thinking is optimal realism. Optimal
Thinkers eliminate unnecessary disappointment, because they entertain realistic expectations and
focus on optimizing situations within their control. Optimal Thinkers embrace reality and ask:
What's the best thing I can do under the circumstances?"
17. In order to be an effective evaluator of any claim or argument, they must improve their truth detection skills.
Truth detection guidelines:
- Is the information complete enough to m
ake a decision, or are important facts missing?
- Is the information source you are consulting inherently biased?
- Are you distorting the available information yourself?
- What information is the most important to have?
G. Randly Kasten, Just Trust Me, (Wheaton, IL: Quest Books, 2011) 3.
A superb tool MissLed women can use to scrutinize claims is the
baloney detection kit, first proposed by the famous Astronomer Carl Sagan in his book "The Demon Haunted World:
Science As a Candle in the Dark:
CARL SAGAN'S BALONEY DETECTION KIT
In addition, MissLed women must learn to scrutinize claims with a
baloney detection kit, first proposed by the famous Astronomer Carl Sagan:
CARL SAGAN'S BALONEY DETECTION KIT
Based on the book The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan
Logical fallacies are often the result of MissLed women's propensity for wishful and magical
thinking. The following are suggested as tools for testing and detecting fallacious
or fraudulent arguments:
- Anecdotes - individual stories - are not scientifically useful. Such a story suggests only that the individual did so-and-so (assuming no fakery). Nothing about larger populations can be inferred from it. Any description of an invention or product which uses large numbers of anecdotes or testimonials is suspect.
- Wherever possible there must be independent confirmation of the facts. Encourage substantive debate on the evidence by knowledgeable proponents of all points of view.
- Arguments from authority carry little weight (in science there are no "authorities").
- Spin more than one hypothesis - don't simply run with the first idea that captures the imagination.
- Try not to get overly attached to an idea or hypothesis just because it's yours.
- Quantify, wherever possible.
- If there is a chain of argument, every link in the chain must work - especially the premise.
- "Occam's razor" - if there are two hypothesis that explain the data equally well, choose the simpler.
- Ask whether the hypothesis can, at least in principle, be falsified (shown to be false by some unambiguous test). In other words, it is testable? Can others duplicate the experiment and get the same result?
Improve their ability to detect the truth in statements made by themselves or others that include
fallacies of logic and rhetoric:
Ad hominem - attacking the arguer and not the argument.
Appeal to Emotion - This is often an appeal to fear. It is a fallacy in which someone
attempts to create support for an idea by using deception and propaganda in attempts
to increase fear and prejudice toward a competitor. Appeals to MissLed women's fears
are all-too-common tactics in marketing and politics.
Argument from "authority" - This type of argument relies on the identity of an authority
rather than the components of the argument itself.
Argument from adverse consequences (putting pressure on the decision maker by pointing
out dire consequences of an "unfavorable" decision) - Just because something is perceived as having adverse consequences if it is true, does not make it suddenly become untrue - such an idea is just a form of wishful thinking. Conversely, when something is perceived as having good consequences if it is true, this perception does not actually make it true.
Appeal to ignorance - If something is not known or proved to be false, it must be true.
This impatience with ambiguity can be criticized in the phrase: absence of evidence is
not evidence of absence.
Begging the question - Assuming an answer in the way the question is phrased.
Misunderstanding the nature of statistics (Innumeracy)
"Misperceptions about probability and risk are apparent wherever
we turn." John Allen Paulos, Innumeracy: Mathematical Illiteracy and its Consequences,
(NY: Hill and Wang, 1988) x.
Hindsight bias - The mental processes that occur when individuals generate explanations
for events that have occurred. When a person learns something new, they reassure themselves that
they knew it all along:
"Past events will ALWAYS look less random than they were (it is called
hindsight bias)." Nassim Nicholas Taleb, Fooled by
Randomness, (NY: Random House, 2004) xi.
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc - "It happened after so it was caused by" - confusion of cause and effect.
Inconsistency - e.g. military expenditures based on worst case scenarios but scientific
projections on environmental dangers thriftily ignored because they are not "proved".
Meaningless question - ("What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?").
Excluded middle - Only the two extremes in a range of possibilities are considered (making the
"other side" look worse than it really is).
It is the portrayal of an issue or argument as containing only two options and no spectrum in between.
Short-term v. long-term - A subset of excluded middle ("Why pursue fundamental science when we
have so huge a budget deficit?").
Slippery slope - Saying something is wrong because it is next to or loosely related to something wrong. It is a subset of excluded middle - unwarranted extrapolation of the effects (give an inch and they will take a mile):
"The phrase slippery slope is a metaphor describing the compounding
effect or long-term consequences of our actions. In other words, once
we get started, we may not be able to stop." Christopher W. Dicarlo, How to Become a Really Good Pain In The Ass, (Amherst, NY: Prometheus Books, 2010) 169.
Confusion of correlation and causation.
Straw man - Caricaturing (or stereotyping) a position to make it easier to attack.
Weasel words - The usage of euphemisms and vague, non-specific references. For example,
Some say..."; "It has been suggested...". A favorite tactic of politicians is to find harmless
or feel good terms for harmful or unpleasant subjects.
18. Overcome their MissCommunication shortcomings. Start by removing much of the
fluff, sugarcoated words, euphemisms and weasel words from their vocabulary. This will benefit their personal reputations significantly:
"When you express yourself in more effective ways, you'll build a
reputation as someone who deserves listening ears." Steve Nakamoto, Talk Like a Winner,
(Huntington, CA: Java Books, 2008) 94.
MissLed women must also strive to deal more effectively with conflict:
"Within a relationship, avoiding conflict does NOT work as a
long-term strategy. What ultimately happens when we do
everything possible to avoid conflict is that the very fear of
conflict begins to dominate the relationship." Carl Alasko, PhD.,
Emotional Bullshit: The Hidden Plague That is Threatening to
Destroy Your Relationships and How to Stop It, (NY: Penguin Group, 2008) 203.
For too many, when conflicts are avoided, fears are indulged and only increase the
communication problems in the relationship. In addition, crucial conversations,
and therefore crucial confrontations, are not are not undertaken:
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Crucial Conversations: Tools for
Talking When Stakes are High, Second Edition, (NY: McGraw-Hill, 2012)
Crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary,
stakes are high, and emotions run strong.
-they are those discussions we dread and often sidestep because we anticipate they will be confrontational.
The unfortunate result from MissLed women's aversion to conflict or argument is that they can't influence
others.
For them, the solution is to become Conflict Innovators:
Conflict Innovators:
Their motto: "Let's be sensible and consider our options."
What they assume: The more I learn from my mistakes, the less
I have to regret.
Their intention: They pick their battles - the fewer the better.
The costs of being a Conflict Innovator: None.
The benefits of being a Conflict Innovator: They'll confront
when necessary, so others will know their limitations." Lee Raffel,
I Hate Conflict, (NY: McGraw-Hill, 2008) 83.
MissLed women are often what Lee Raffel described in his book "I Hate Conflict" as Conflict Avoiders:
Their Motto: "I don't want to talk about it!"
What they ASSSUME: If they don't discuss their conflicts, the conflicts
will go away.
Their intention: To keep the peace at any price.
The costs of being a Conflict Avoider: Feeling frustrated, resentful,
and disillusioned.
The benefits of being a Conflict Avoider: Turmoil does not get out
of hand." Lee Raffel, I Hate Conflict, (NY: McGraw-Hill, 2008) 62.
"Conflict Avoiders are afraid to draw the line regarding the bad
behavior of others. When they "hush up and put up," it has the effect
of giving others permission to be snide, disrespectful, and malicious...
Their coping mechanism is to build emotional walls to insulate themselves
from suffering." Lee Raffel, I Hate Conflict, (NY: McGraw-Hill, 2008) 63.
MissLed women, who are conflict averse lose out on the lessons learned from dealing
with the discomfort and adversity that comes with handling conflict:
"Confrontation offers the opportunity to express our roughest edges and develop as
individuals and in relationships." Rachel Simmons, The Curse of the Good Girl,
(NY: Penguin Press, 2009) 54.
19. Prioritize the consistent development of character.
An excellent guideline for this is Dr. George Simon, Ph. D. 10 Commandments of Character Development:
1. Recognize your impact on the world around you: "You are not the center of the universe.
Rather, you are but a part of something more vast, complex, and wondrous than you can even
imagine. You inhabit space with many other persons, creatures, and objects of creation. So,
despite your tendency to think so, it’s definitely not all about you."
2. Strive to Be Grateful: "Strive to be truly grateful for the many gifts you’ve been given.
Regard life and the miracle of creation with appropriate awe and appreciation. Gratitude
will enable you to develop an appropriate sense of indebtedness and obligation to value,
preserve, and promote life and to respect all aspects of creation."
3. Maintaining a Balanced Sense of Self-Worth: "You need to rightly know where
you fit in the grand scheme of things and to keep a balanced perspective on your
sense of worth. Thinking too much of yourself is just as dangerous as thinking too
little of yourself. Do not dismiss your accomplishments but don’t laud yourself for
or lord over others any position or good fortune you’ve managed to secure. Avoid pretense,
keep a balanced sense of self, and be genuine and humble to avoid false pride."
4. Be Honest: "To the best of your ability to know, pursue, speak, and display it, have the
utmost reverence for the truth. You need not be brutal in your disclosures nor are you
required to share every ugly thing you know to be true...Honestly and humbly acknowledge
and reckon with your mistakes. Avoid taking shortcuts in life and be willing to earn the
good things you desire in an honest and honorable way. Always take the sincere and genuine
course. This will enable you to develop soundness and integrity of character."
5. Live for More Than the Pursuit of Pleasure: "Be the master of your appetites and
dislikes. You were meant to survive and prosper but you were never meant to be
pampered or indulged. Your ability to experience pleasure and pain is meant to help guide
you through life, not govern your life. And taking pleasure for its own sake is almost always
a pathway to destruction. Avoid greed and excess. Be willing to endure necessary discomfort.
Sometimes, one has to embrace hardship in order to grow and love."
6. Be Mindful of Your Choices and Behavior. Think before you act: "Be the
master of your impulses. Think before you act. At all times be mindful
of your choices and behavior. Temper your urges with reason and foresight.
Neither rush into action nor into judgment. Think not only about what
you’re about to do but also about the consequences."
7. Strive to Develop Soundness and Rightness of Will: "Willfulness in the
service of justice, righteousness, and the common good is indeed a virtue.
To accept moral and social obligation, to work hard for the benefit of all,
to persevere in noble endeavors despite obstacles, to pursue justice, and
live righteously (i.e., to love), are indeed the most noble ways to exercise
your will. So, pledge yourself to principled living and stay the course."
8. Manage Your Aggressive Instincts: "Some things in life really do have to be fought
for. But when you do fight, fight fairly. Above all, fight constructively and for a truly just
cause. Do not strive to simply injure or to gain advantage over others.
Expend your aggressive energy in a manner that builds as opposed to destroys.
Take care to respect the rights, needs, and boundaries of those with whom you
might struggle. And most especially, appreciate when it’s in your best interest
as well as the interest of others to back-down, back-off, concede, or capitulate."
9. Treat Others With Civility and Positive Regard:
"Treat others with civility and generosity. Behave responsibly and with positive regard,
even to those who do otherwise to you."
10. Be of Sincere Heart and Purpose: "To the best of your ability, have sincerity of heart
and purpose. Be honest with yourself about
what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Let your intentions be noble and transparent. Harbor no
hidden agendas. Sincerity is a prerequisite for integrity."
"Series On Developing Character’ at Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life," Dr. George Simon, Ph. D.
http://counsellingresource.com/features/tag/series-on-developing-character/
20. Lastly, but not least, earnestly and tenaciously pursue the truth, however ugly and unpopular.
The virtue of truthfulness entails a commitment to basing their views on an honest assessment of the
evidence, and adjusting the degree of conviction they have in terms of the weight of such evidence. A
diligent inquiry into truth for truth's sake, with no axe to grind, and a passion to
learn, is the best path to veracity. While truth-detection thrives on an open-minded willingness to
take into account all that is relevant to drawing a true
conclusion, it is quite vulnerable to defeat - by ulterior motives, wishful thinking, hasty judgment, resistance to ideas, and
a priori conviction.
Quite often, the truths that are uncovered will not coincide with the PC concepts that MissLed women have been
misled into believing and supporting. MissLed women can improve upon this by purging some of those PC concepts by using the following guidelines:
"1. When you say something in public, ask yourself are - are
you saying it because it is politically correct, or because you know it to be factually correct?
Are you choosing intellectual laziness over emotional discomfort?
2. Be open to self-criticism, and criticism from others.
3. Don't psychologize those you disagree with: judge what they say at face value,
rather than believing there are hidden, dark motives that entitle you to dismiss
what they say without thinking about it. Again, psychologizing is a PC habit:
"Instead of addressing the explicit content of an argument,
the politically correct attack what they see as the hidden
psychology behind the argument; their opponents are not just
wrong but bad. Accusing someone of hidden and
malign motives avoids the often intellectually and
emotionally difficult task of engaging with their actual
arguments, and allows the politically correct to remain protected
in their castle on the moral high ground." David Conway, Anthony Browne,
The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 21.
4. Stick to rational, evidence-based arguments, not discussions of emotionally
difficult cases.
5. Feel compassion for "victims", but don't defer to them. If their
victimhood is self-inflicted, deferring to them will only entrench their
victimhood, rather than help them.
6. Don't do cultural relativism: stick to a level playing field, and
judge everyone by the same ethical standards. Just because someone is a "victim"
or a "minority" doesn't excuse unethical behavior that you wouldn't accept in
an "oppressor" or a "majority."
7. Don't feel guilty for something you are not responsible for: if you weren't
responsible for it, you can't be guilty.
8. Don't presume guilt by association. Judge people they are in
in themselves, not by their tenuous links to others.
9. Don't do zero tolerance. Humanity is not black and white, but
many shades of grey. Thinking in absolutes is not thinking at all.
10. Don't indulge in self-loathing. If you think you should be
proud of yourself, and your culture, then be so. Coming from a dominant
culture doesn't make you bad." David Conway, Anthony Browne, Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 89-90.
Another crucial step MissLed women can take in order to improve their pursuit of truth is to
learn to identify, and thereby avoid, Pseudoscience:
"How to Spot Pseudoscience...
- Ancient knowledge, ancient wisdom, statements that ancient people believed or knew about this, or that
it's stood the test of time. To test whether an idea's true, we test whether it's true; we don't ask
if ancient people believed it.
- Claims of suppression by authorities, an old dodge to explain away why you've never heard of this
before. The biggest red flag of all is that somebody "Doesn't want you to know" this, or "What doctors won't tell you".
- Anything that sounds too good to be true probably is. Miraculously easy solutions to complicated problems
should always set off your skeptical radar.
- Is the website dedicated to promotion or sales pertaining to a particular product or claim? If
so, you're probably reading a sales brochure disguised as a research report.
- Be especially aware of websites that cite great, famous, well-known names as their
inspiration. Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, and Stephen Hawking are three of the most abusively
co-opted names in history. Real research instead tends to cite current researchers in the field,
names that few people have ever heard of. The famous names are mentioned mainly in sales pitches.
- Always watch out for the all-natural fallacy, in its many guises. If a website trumps
the qualities of being all-natural, organic, green, sustainable, holistic, or any other of the
popular marketing buzzwords of the day, it's more likely that you're reading pseudoscience than science."
"How to Tell a Good Website from a Crap Website," by Brian Dunning, Skeptoid #336, Nov 13, 2012
http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4336
If MissLed women are to be more accurate in their assessments of situations, of people, and
of issues, ridding their minds of nonsense is a crucial first step.
Improved critical thinking skills will help MissLed women to properly assess arguments
promoted in the popular culture. Separating those that are scientifically sound from those
based on “psychobabble” - pop-psych notions dressed up in increasingly fancy,
sciency-sounding language will help them to both avoid thinking traps and to consistently
detect nonsense.
===========================================================
SOLUTIONS:
INSTEAD OF ILLUSIONS AND DELUSIONS THAT LEAD TO CONFUSION, MISSLED WOMEN MUST
SEEK SOLUTIONS. THE FOLLOWING 20 SUGGESTED SOLUTIONS CAN SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCE THEIR MISSTAKEN MINDSETS:
1. Read more. As Lisa Bloom's recent book Think discusses, too many MissLed women don't read nearly
enough books or online material of substance. Being well-informed about history
and current events is both part of being a responsible adult and citizen and
beneficial to a woman's social and personal status.
2. Turn off the TV. Free time - particularly for the mind - is all too precious.
MissLed women can use the time from reducing television viewing to engage
their minds in more worthy pursuits. Reading, participating in public or private
discussions on politics, art or civic matters, even perusing the Internet for
thought-provoking, educational material such as on TED, would serve them very well.
3. As much as possible, recognize and reduce the following:
- 7 Debilitative Emotions
- 7 Thinking Traps
- 7 Cognitive Mistakes
- 8 Emotional Pollutants
- 6 Irrational Inferences
3.***NICENESS***
"From early childhood, girls are taught that their well-being and ultimate success
is contingent upon acting in certain stereotypical ways, such as being polite,
soft-spoken, compliant, and relationship-oriented. xvi.
"Nice GIRL:"
"So why do women stay in the place of girlhood long after it's productive for them? One
reason is because we've been taught that acting like a girl - even when we're grown up - isn't
such a bad thing. Girls can taken care of in ways boys don't. Girls aren't expected to fend for
or take care of themselves - others do that for them." 2.
"Being a girl is certainly easier than being a woman. Girls don't have to take responsibility for their
destiny." Lois P. Frankel PhD., Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, (NY: Time Warner Books, 2004) 2.
4. Accept that there are things that are unknowable and unchangeable. Simply
put, accept the following givens:
1. Everything changes and ends.
2. Things do not always go according to plan.
3. Life is not always fair.
4. Pain is part of life.
5. People are not loving and loyal all the time.
Regarding given #1, MissLed women would cope much more effectively with change if followed this advice:
"What does it take to make changes in your life?"
A) Clarity
B) Self-Awareness
C) Commitment
Peter Walsh, Enough Already, 8-9.
"Each of the five main givens of life confront our deeply
held illusions. The fact that things change confronts the
illusion of permanence. The fact that plans fall through confronts
our illusion of control. Our illusion that things will be fair
or that pain will not happen to us or that people will be
trustworthy are called into question by the givens we face
in the course of life. The givens liberate us from
ignorance and illusion." David, Richo, The Five Things We Cannot Change, (Boston: Shambhala,
2005) 6-7.
5. Strive to remove as many Illusions, Confusions, Assumptions, Delusions, and Disillusions as
possible by learning to recognize, and thereby avoid, their traits and attributes.
6. Improve their Critical Thinking Skills. Their well-being as adults depends
on them understanding the world as close to possible as it really is:
"Gullibility tempts humans with the lure of wondrous things. The only
therapy for childlike faith is the cultivation of critical intelligence that can
examine and evaluate claims to truth and thereby achieve knowledge." Paul Kurtz,
The Transcendental Temptation: A Critique of Religion and the Paranormal, (NY:
Prometheus Books, 1987) 62.
Critical Thinking Guidelines
MissLed women need to strive for the following critical thinking traits:
- Curious and open mind
- Thinking through issues
- Analyze issues from multiple view points
- Doing needed investigations
MissLed women need to learn to incorporate the key critical thinking concepts:
• Ask Questions: Be willing to wonder.
• Examine the Evidence
What evidence supports or refutes the argument being made?
• Analyze Assumptions and Biases
MissLed women must strive to be more aware of how their assumptions might
bias their conclusions.
• Avoid Emotional Reasoning
For MissLed women, emotional reasoning too often trumps clear thinking.
• Don’t Oversimplify
MissLed women must learn to resist easy generalizations and “either-or thinking”.
MissLed women must learn to also resist arguing by anecdote - generalizing from a
few examples to everyone.
Example: One cheating man does not mean that all men cheat. ("They're all dogs!")
• Consider Other Interpretations
MissLed women must learn to formulate hypotheses that offer explanations of the topic.
The goal is to arrive at a theory that tries to explain the phenomena and
their interrelationships.
• Tolerate Uncertainty
Many MissLed struggle mightily with doubt and uncertainty. Regardless, they must accept that
some questions have no easy answers. They have to be willing to be uncertain when new
evidence questions their beliefs or conclusions.
"Critical Thinking," http://cla.calpoly.edu/~cslem/Invit/1/Chp1c.html#Pseudoscience%20and%20Common%20Sense
Basically, too many MissLed women don't think - they tend to react emotionally, they
often take facts (often distorted) for granted without questioning them, and their
brains are numbed by ceaseless pop culture saturation. Thinking critically
takes time - one has to learn key facts and compare them before making
a decision.
In essence, MissLed women don't know their ABCs...of critical thinking:
A - Argument - MissLed women who don't communicate well lose arguments - they
are not understood, or can't understand others who use clearer, better
stated language.
B - Biases - MissLed women are unaware of how their personal biases influence the decisions
and beliefs in their lives.
C - Context - Time, Place, Circumstance - If not understood, their decisions are
reached without the complete picture or totality of information. By not properly
seeing situations in context, MissLed women are prone to making up their
minds too rapidly, judging unfairly, or acting too harshly.
In essence, without proper critical thinking skills, MissLed women are in the dangerous habit
of following their FEELINGS instead of thinking.
"Much thinking that people do is disorganized, biased, not thought through
or forward looking, and hurried. In the absence of experience, reasoning,
confidence and education (both formal and informal), people use feelings
and intuition as guides to decision making. This often leads to flawed
decisions and unwanted consequences in life. Feelings and intuition
are critical parts of the thinking process. However, they must be backed
up with knowledge, experience, and wisdom." Chuck W. Clayton,
The Re-Discovery of Common Sense, (Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, 2007) xvi.
What are the practical benefits of improved critical thinking for MissLed women?
1. They'll be better at making informed decisions.
2. They'll be better at understanding.
3. They'll be better able to create, invent, and discover.
Chuck W. Clayton, The Re-Discovery of Common Sense, (Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, 2007) xvi-xvii.
"Critical thinkers keep on thinking. Critical thinking is the driving
force behind great human achievements and will always be so. It is
impossible to separate critical thinking from creative thinking. Use
your imagination, then put your imagination to the test. Think outside
the box, please, but then use the box to keep your thoughts from
running away." Mark Forshaw, Critical Thinking for Psychology,
120.
"Critical thinking requires the use of self-discipline and self-examination.
The rewards are great freedom and the ability to complete projects,
achieve objectives and answer questions with confidence. When you take
charge of your mind using critical thinking and make sound decisions,
you take charge of your life!" Chuck W. Clayton, The Re-Discovery of Common
Sense, (Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, 2007) xvii.
"...critical thinking...It is our only guarantee against delusion
deception superstition and misapprehension of ourselves and our
earthly circumstances." Michael R. LeGault, Think, (NY:
Threshold Editions, 2006) 37.
5. Improve their LOGICALITY. An increase in their logical literacy will permit them
to more effectively evaluate claims and arguments.
6. Understand quackery and be extremely skeptical of any unproven or "alternative" medical treatments
by heeding the following advice:
"Quackery is considered the promotion of false or unproven remedies for profit. Many consumer advocates
say that health fraud and quackery are so pervasive in the United States that government agencies can't
adequately handle the problem. So they urge consumers to learn how to recognize quackery and protect themselves
from it. They also say that they practitioners and promoters of quackery often have
the following characteristic behavior patterns:
1. They promise quick, dramatic, simple, painless, or drugless treatment
or cures.
2. They use anecdotes, case histories or testimonials to support claims. Prominent people
such as actors, writers, baseball players, and even physicians may be used in
testimonials...
3. The use disclaimers couched in pseudomedical or pseudoscientific jargon.
Instead of promising to treat or cure a specific illness or condition, they offer
to "detoxify" the body," "strengthen the immune system," "balance body chemistry," or
bring the body into "harmony with nature."
4. They may display credentials or use titles that might be confused
with those of the scientific or medical community. Use of the terms
professor, doctor, or nutritionist may be spurious. Their credentials
may be from an unaccredited school or an organization that promotes nonscientific
methods.
5. The results they claim may not have been verified by others or published in a
reputable scientific journal.
6. They claim that a single product or service can cure a wide range of unrelated illnesses.
7. They claim to have a secret cure or one that is recognized in other parts of the
world but not yet known or accepted in the United States.
8. They claim to be persecuted by organized medicine and that their treatment is
being suppressed because it is controversial or because the medical establishment is "greedy" and does
not want competition.
9. They state that medical doctors should not be trusted because surgery, X rays, and
drugs cause more harm than good. They say most doctors are "butchers" and "poisoners."
10. They claim that most disease is due to a faulty diet and can be
treated by nutritional methods.
11. The use scare tactics to encourage use of the product or service advocated.
They say lack of adequate intake of vitamins and minerals results in poor nutrition
that may cause troublesome conditions. They state that food additives and preservatives
may poison people.
12. They claim that most Americans are poorly nourished and need
"nutrition insurance."
13. They advise vitamins and "health foods" for everyone.
14. They use hair analysis to determine nutritional needs.
15. They claim that natural vitamins are better than synthetic ones.
Theodore Schick, Lewis Vaughn, How to Think About Weird Things,230.
Those making extraordinary claims, and charging exorbitant
and unjustifiable prices for a treatment that hasn't been scrutinized by
serious scientific study, are automatically considered suspect.
Careful evaluation is needed to separate the genuinely promising,
but often quite expensive, therapies from those which are both costly
and undeserving of study. If no legitimate trials
have been done or are underway, prudent consumers must ask why. The explanation
had better be good: any variation on "it's too much trouble,"
"we don't have the resources," "we can't wait, we're too busy saving
lives," or "the system is totally biased against us" is an automatic alarm setter. Similar
rationalizations, word for word, have
been the war cry of medical amateurs and con-artists for a long time.
MissLed women's lack of critical thinking skills or understanding of
scientific jargon, and their susceptibility to emotionally appealing propaganda,
often leaves them victimized by quacks.
7. Reject Wrongheaded Romantic notions and reset their expectations to a more realistic level regarding love relationships:
"Being self- responsible in romantic relationships means taking responsibility, minute-by-minute, for
our happiness and unhappiness...In order to do so, three mental adjustments are essential.
Adjustment 1: Change expectations
Expectations based on fairy tales and wishful thinking must be replaced by expectations based on
reality...We abandon conventional wisdom's impractical goal of finding or fashioning the ideal mate.
Adjustment 2: Change Reactions
...Partner-blame must be replaced by self-responsible reactions that reflect emotional maturity,
acceptance of reality and self-restraint.
Adjustment 3. Change Self
...Changing self...means continually addressing personal shortcomings."Christine Meincke, Ph.D., Everybody Marries
the Wrong Person: Turning Flawed into Fulfilling Relationships, (Far Hills, NJ: New Horizon Press, 2010) 11.
8. Rethink their views and expectations of Friendship. Seek a mixture of friendships, which involve
reciprocity and are mutually beneficial. Instead of wishing for a "BFF," they can work on being
worthy of having one or more close friends. In addition, they can seek to cultivate friendships
that are convenient, or share their interests or hobbies. Finally, avoid damaging, dangerous toxic friendships. Learn
the signs of toxic friendship from by the following guide:
"IDENTIFYING THE SIGNS OF A TOXIC FRIENDSHIP
- Does scheduling time together feel like an obligation rather than a pleasure?
- Is the friendship a constant source of irritation?
- Doe either of you feel trapped when you are together?
- Do you feel tense in each other's presence?
- Do you feel like one friend is always trying to show off at the other's expense?
- Are you there for one another when needed?
- Are either of you self-centered, sneaky, deceitful, or disloyal?
- Do one or both of you habitually show bad judgment?
- Does one friend consistently feel like she is giving more than she is getting?
- Does the relationship feel curiously out-of-sync?
- Do you feel emotionally drained when you are together?
- Do either of you come away from another feeling depressed?
- Is one friend always the "listener" and the other the "talker?"
- Do either of you dread each other's phone calls?
- Does either of you hate to see the other's screen name online when you look at your buddy list?
- Do your friends emails feel too long to read?
- Given a choice, would one of you always choose to spend time with someone other than your friend?
- Have you done anything to undermine each other personally or professionally?
- Have you simply grown in different directions?
- Can you trust each other to keep confidences?
- Has one of you betrayed the other?"
Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend, (NY: Overlook Press, 2009)
119.
9. Cease misplacing their faith in Karma and other faddish superstitions, particularly The Secret.
10. See the brouhaha regarding Breast Cancer in its proper context. Put their efforts and dollars
involving charitable causes to their best use.
11. Reject misleading, self-defeating, and sometimes dangerous Diet and "Detox" claims.
12. Improve their Communication and Argument skills. Start by removing much of the
fluff, sugarcoated words, euphemisms and weasel words from their vocabulary. This will benefit their personal reputations significantly:
"When you express yourself in more effective ways, you'll build a
reputation as someone who deserves listening ears." Steve Nakamoto, Talk Like a Winner,
(Huntington, CA: Java Books, 2008) 94.
MissLed women must also strive to deal more effectively with conflict:
"Within a relationship, avoiding conflict does NOT work as a
long-term strategy. What ultimately happens when we do
everything possible to avoid conflict is that THE VERY FEAR of
conflict begins to dominate the relationship." Carl Alasko, PhD.,
Emotional Bullshit: The Hidden Plague That is Threatening to
Destroy Your Relationships and How to Stop It, (NY: Penguin Group, 2008) 203.
For too many,when conflicts are avoided, fears are indulged and only increase the
communication problems in the relationship. In addition, crucial conversations,
and therefore crucial confrontations, are not
are not undertaken:
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Crucial Conversations: Tools for
Talking When Stakes are High, Second Edition, (NY: McGraw-Hill, 2012)
Crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary,
stakes are high, and emotions run strong.
-they are those discussions we dread and often sidestep because we anticipate they will be confrontational.
The unfortunate result from MissLed women's aversion to conflict or argument is that THEY CAN'T INFLUENCE
others.
For them, the solution is to become Conflict Innovators:
Conflict Innovators:
Their motto: "Let's be sensible and consider our options."
What they assume: The more I learn from my mistakes, the less
I have to regret.
Their intention: They pick their battles - the fewer the better.
The costs of being a Conflict Innovator: None.
The benefits of being a Conflict Innovator: They'll confront
when necessary, so others will know their limitations." Lee Raffel,
I Hate Conflict, (NY: McGraw-Hill, 2008) 83.
MissLed women are often what Lee Raffel described in his book "I Hate Conflict" as Conflict Avoiders:
Their Motto: "I don't want to talk about it!"
What they ASSSUME: If they don't discuss their conflicts, the conflicts
will go away.
Their intention: To keep the peace at any price.
The costs of being a Conflict Avoider: Feeling frustrated, resentful,
and disillusioned.
The benefits of being a Conflict Avoider: Turmoil does not get out
of hand." Lee Raffel, I Hate Conflict, (NY: McGraw-Hill, 2008) 62.
"Conflict Avoiders are afraid to draw the line regarding the bad
behavior of others. When they "hush up and put up," it has the effect
of giving others permission to be snide, disrespectful, and malicious...
Their coping mechanism is to build emotional walls to insulate themselves
from suffering." Lee Raffel, I Hate Conflict, (NY: McGraw-Hill, 2008) 63.
MissLed women, who are conflict averse lose out on the lessons learned from dealing
with the discomfort and adversity that comes with handling conflict:
"Confrontation offers the opportunity to express our roughest edges and develop as
individuals and in relationships." Rachel Simmons, The Curse of the Good Girl,
(NY: Penguin Press, 2009) 54.
13. Understand and accept the innate general differences between men and women.
Set their expectations from men and women in accordance with this new, science-based
viewpoint.
14. Strike a balance between positive and negative thinking by learning and then practicing Optimal thinking.
15. In order to effectively evaluate any claim or argument, improve their truth detection skills:
Truth detection guidelines:
- Is the information complete enough to make a decision, or are important facts missing?
- Is the information source you are consulting inherently biased?
- Are you distorting the available information yourself?
- What information is the most important to have?
G. Randly Kasten, Just Trust Me, (Wheaton, IL: Quest Books, 2011) 3.
In addition, MissLed women must learn to scrutinize claims with a
baloney detection kit, first proposed by the famous Astronomer Carl Sagan:
CARL SAGAN'S BALONEY DETECTION KIT
Based on the book The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan
Logical fallacies are often the result of MissLed women's propensity for wishful and magical
thinking. The following are suggested as tools for testing and detecting fallacious
or fraudulent arguments:
- Anecdotes - individual stories - are not scientifically useful. Such a story suggests only that the individual did so-and-so (assuming no fakery). Nothing about larger populations can be inferred from it. Any description of an invention or product which uses large numbers of anecdotes or testimonials is suspect.
- Wherever possible there must be independent confirmation of the facts. Encourage substantive debate on the evidence by knowledgeable proponents of all points of view.
- Arguments from authority carry little weight (in science there are no "authorities").
- Spin more than one hypothesis - don't simply run with the first idea that captures the imagination.
- Try not to get overly attached to an idea or hypothesis just because it's yours.
- Quantify, wherever possible.
- If there is a chain of argument, every link in the chain must work - especially the premise.
- "Occam's razor" - if there are two hypothesis that explain the data equally well, choose the simpler.
- Ask whether the hypothesis can, at least in principle, be falsified (shown to be false by some unambiguous test). In other words, it is testable? Can others duplicate the experiment and get the same result?
Improve their ability to detect the truth in statements made by themselves or others that include
fallacies of logic and rhetoric:
Ad hominem - attacking the arguer and not the argument.
Appeal to Emotion - This is often an appeal to fear. It is a fallacy in which someone
attempts to create support for an idea by using deception and propaganda in attempts
to increase fear and prejudice toward a competitor. Appeals to MissLed women's fears
are all-too-common tactics in marketing and politics.
Argument from "authority" - This type of argument relies on the identity of an authority
rather than the components of the argument itself.
Indeed, MissLed women who are duped by the argument from "authority" are often fooled by those who turn out to be false prophets with false promises:
"Many who assume the mantle of authority are pseudo-leaders, false prophets, confidence men and women, self-promoters who should not be respected but rather disobeyed and openly exposed to critical evaluation." Philip Zimbardo, The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil, (NY: Random House, 2007) 454.
Argument from adverse consequences (putting pressure on the decision maker by pointing
out dire consequences of an "unfavorable" decision) - Just because something is perceived as having adverse consequences if it is true, does not make it suddenly become untrue - such an idea is just a form of wishful thinking. Conversely, when something is perceived as having good consequences if it is true, this perception does not actually make it true.
Appeal to ignorance - If something is not known or proved to be false, it must be true.
This impatience with ambiguity can be criticized in the phrase: absence of evidence is
not evidence of absence.
Special pleading - A form of spurious argumentation where a position in a dispute introduces
favorable details or excludes unfavorable details by alleging a need to apply additional
considerations without proper criticism of these considerations themselves. This is a fallacy because
they claim that they are exempt from certain principles or standards, yet they provide
no good reason for his exemption.
Begging the question - Assuming an answer in the way the question is phrased.
Misunderstanding the nature of statistics (Innumeracy)
"Misperceptions about probability and risk are apparent wherever
we turn." John Allen Paulos, Innumeracy: Mathematical Illiteracy and its Consequences,
(NY: Hill and Wang, 1988) x.
Hindsight bias - It describes the mental processes that occur when individuals generate explanations
for events that have occurred. When a person learns something new, they reassure themselves that
they knew it all along:
"Past events will ALWAYS look less random than they were (it is called
hindsight bias)." Nassim Nicholas Taleb, Fooled by
Randomness, (NY: Random House, 2004) xi.
Inconsistency - e.g. military expenditures based on worst case scenarios but scientific
projections on environmental dangers thriftily ignored because they are not "proved".
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc - "It happened after so it was caused by" - confusion of cause and effect.
Meaningless question - ("What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?").
Excluded middle - Only the two extremes in a range of possibilities are considered (making the
"other side" look worse than it really is).
It is the portrayal of an issue or argument as containing only two options and no spectrum in between.
Short-term v. long-term - A subset of excluded middle ("Why pursue fundamental science when we
have so huge a budget deficit?").
Slippery slope - Saying something is wrong because it is next to or loosely related to something wrong.
It is a subset of excluded middle - unwarranted extrapolation of the effects (give an inch and they will
take a mile).
"The phrase SLIPPERY SLOPE is a metaphor describing the compounding
effect or long-term consequences of our actions. In other words, once
we get started, we may not be able to stop." Christopher W. Dicarlo, How to Become a Really Good Pain In The Ass,
(Amherst, NY: Prometheus Books, 2010) 169.
Confusion of correlation and causation.
Straw man - Caricaturing (or stereotyping) a position to make it easier to attack.
Weasel words - The usage of euphemisms and vague, non-specific references. For example,
Some say..."; "It has been suggested...". A favorite tactic of politicians is to find harmless
or feel good terms for harmful or unpleasant subjects.
16. As much as possible, replace wishful thinking with optimal, realistic thinking. MissLed wishful
thinkers filter what they hear according to their own biases. The first step toward eliminating
wishful thinking is to recognize the many ways that their wishful thinking can distort reality:
1. Seeing Order in Randomness - People have a natural tendency to see order in data,
even when the data is totally random and irregular. They do this even when they
have no personal reason to see order. This happens especially when they remember facts
from the past. Their memory plays tricks on them by emphasizing any possible patterns,
and forgetting irregularities that might refute the patterns. This natural tendency
to misconstrue random events is called the "clustering illusion."
MissLed women often have the misguided notion that random events which occur
in clusters are not really random events. The illusion is due to selective thinking
based on a counter intuitive but false assumption regarding statistical odds.
For them, chance events often seem to have some order to them. In fact, when
the law of averages is applied objectively, this order disappears.
2. Looking for Confirmation - People have a natural tendency to look for "yes"
instead of "no." If they have an idea, they tend to look for evidence that will
confirm their idea, not evidence that will disprove it.
3. Hidden Data - When people search for evidence, often there is data that they
unintentionally overlook. For instance, if MissLed women receive a bad impression
about a person from the beginning, they may avoid them, and by avoiding them,
they may never have a chance to show them the better side of their
personality. But if they receive a good impression, they may get to know
that person better, and thereby gather more positive data, and falsely
confirm in their minds that first impressions are reliable. The way they
collect data may filter out important categories of data, and this may
cause them to confirm their wrong ideas. They need to avoid search strategies
that show them only a distorted side of an issue.
4. Mental Corner-Cutting - All people cut corners with their minds. They often
use mental strategies - typically generalizations - to understand
the world around them more quickly and easily. These strategies are very useful.
But they come at a cost. These corner-cutting strategies can
cause systematic errors or blind spots in their thinking. They need to be aware
when they have not been thorough; therefore, they need to look out
for signals that they are drawing a wrong conclusion.
5. Reinterpreting Evidence - When people are presented with ambiguous information,
they often interpret it to support their established beliefs. When people are
presented with unambiguous information that contradicts their beliefs, they
tend to pay close attention to it, scrutinize it, and either invent a way of
discounting it as unreliable, or redefine it to be less damaging than it really is.
6. Remembering Selective Evidence - People do not necessarily
only remember evidence that supports their beliefs. Rather, they tend to remember
events that cause them pain or difficulty, events that they predicted would happen,
or events that otherwise drew their attention. They tend to forget events that follow
the normal course of things.
For example, some people think that they always end up needing things that they
threw away. But this is only because they remember all the things that they threw
away, but later needed; while they forget about the many more times when they
threw something away and never needed it again.
7. Telling Stories - Much of what people know about their world was heard from others. But
second-hand information is often simplified and "cleaned up" as it is told. As people
relate stories, they often exaggerate them, or make them happen to a friend instead of
to an unknown person, or try to make the story more understandable. They do this
subconsciously because they want their audience to be entertained or impressed.
Instead, people need to temper what they hear by:
(1) considering the source of the message
(2) putting more credence in actual statements of fact and not predictions
(3) scale estimates down by accepting the less drastic if two numbers offered
(4) not allow their personal feelings towards someone deceive them into thinking that they
are an example of a widespread phenomenon.
8. Correction from Others - Their friends and acquaintances can bring an objective
perspective to their habits and beliefs. As people get older, they tend to associate
with people who agree with them or share their habits. Therefore, they have fewer
opportunities to make corrections. When they adopt defective beliefs, they may never encounter
the correction they need.
9. Strategies - Since all humans have innate tendencies to reason wrongly, what can
they do to combat this? They can train their minds to compensate for their shortcomings:
(1) They should be aware of how their minds try to see order even when there is no order.
(2) They should be aware of how their minds remember things in a very biased way.
(3) They should actively search for data that they may have missed, and especially
search for data that contradicts their theories or beliefs.
(4) They should ask themselves how someone who disagrees with them would look
at this data?
(5) They should remember that stories that they hear may come from an unreliable
source, or they may be exaggerated by the storyteller to make a point.
19. Prioritize the consistent development of character.
An excellent guideline - the 10 Commandments of Character Development:
1. Recognize your impact on the world around you: You are not the center of the universe.
Rather, you are but a part of something more vast, complex, and wondrous than you can even
imagine. You inhabit space with many other persons, creatures, and objects of creation. So,
despite your tendency to think so, it’s definitely not all about you."
2. Strive to Be Grateful: "Strive to be truly grateful for the many gifts you’ve been given.
Regard life and the miracle of creation with appropriate awe and appreciation. Gratitude
will enable you to develop an appropriate sense of indebtedness and obligation to value,
preserve, and promote life and to respect all aspects of creation."
3. Maintaining a Balanced Sense of Self-Worth: "You need to rightly know where
you fit in the grand scheme of things and to keep a balanced perspective on your
sense of worth. Thinking too much of yourself is just as dangerous as thinking too
little of yourself. Do not dismiss your accomplishments but don’t laud yourself for
or lord over others any position or good fortune you’ve managed to secure. Avoid pretense,
keep a balanced sense of self, and be genuine and humble to avoid false pride."
4. Be Honest: "To the best of your ability to know, pursue, speak, and display it, have the
utmost reverence for the truth. You need not be brutal in your disclosures nor are you
required to share every ugly thing you know to be true...Honestly and humbly acknowledge
and reckon with your mistakes. Avoid taking shortcuts in life and be willing to earn the
good things you desire in an honest and honorable way. Always take the sincere and genuine
course. This will enable you to develop soundness and integrity of character."
5. Live for More Than the Pursuit of Pleasure: "Be the master of your appetites and
dislikes. You were meant to survive and prosper but you were never meant to be
pampered or indulged. Your ability to experience pleasure and pain is meant to help guide
you through life, not govern your life. And taking pleasure for its own sake is almost always
a pathway to destruction. Avoid greed and excess. Be willing to endure necessary discomfort.
Sometimes, one has to embrace hardship in order to grow and love."
6. Be Mindful of Your Choices and Behavior. Think before you act: "Be the
master of your impulses. Think before you act. At all times be mindful
of your choices and behavior. Temper your urges with reason and foresight.
Neither rush into action nor into judgment. Think not only about what
you’re about to do but also about the consequences."
7.Strive to Develop Soundness and Rightness of Will: "Willfulness in the
service of justice, righteousness, and the common good is indeed a virtue.
To accept moral and social obligation, to work hard for the benefit of all,
to persevere in noble endeavors despite obstacles, to pursue justice, and
live righteously (i.e., to love), are indeed the most noble ways to exercise
your will. So, pledge yourself to principled living and stay the course."
8. Manage Your Aggressive Instincts: "Some things in life really do have to be fought for. But when you do
fight, fight fairly. Above all, fight constructively and for a truly just
cause. Do not strive to simply injure or to gain advantage over others.
Expend your aggressive energy in a manner that builds as opposed to destroys.
Take care to respect the rights, needs, and boundaries of those with whom you
might struggle. And most especially, appreciate when it’s in your best interest
as well as the interest of others to back-down, back-off, concede, or capitulate."
9. Treat Others With Civility and Positive Regard:
"Treat others with civility and generosity. Behave responsibly and with positive regard,
even to those who do otherwise to you."
10.Be of Sincere Heart and Purpose: "To the best of your ability, have sincerity of heart and purpose. Be honest with yourself about
what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Let your intentions be noble and transparent. Harbor no
hidden agendas. Sincerity is a prerequisite for integrity."
Series On Developing Character’ at Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life, Dr. George Simon, Ph. D.
http://counsellingresource.com/features/tag/series-on-developing-character/
20. Lastly, but not least, earnestly and tenaciously pursue the truth, however ugly and unpopular.
Quite often, the truth that is found will not coincide with the PC concepts that MissLed women have been misled into believing and supporting. MissLed women can improve upon this by purging some of those PC concepts by using the following guidelines:
1. When you say something in public, ask yourself are
you saying it because it is politically correct, or because you know it to be factually correct?
Are you choosing intellectual laziness over emotional discomfort?
2. Be open to self-criticism, and criticism from others.
3. Don't psychologize those you disagree with: judge what they say at face value,
rather than believing there are hidden, dark motives that entitle you to dismiss
what they say without thinking about it. Again, psychologizing is a PC habit:
"Instead of addressing the explicit content of an argument,
the politically correct attack what they see as the hidden
psychology behind the argument; their opponents are not just
wrong but bad. Accusing someone of hidden and
malign motives avoids the often intellectually and
emotionally difficult task of engaging with their actual
arguments, and allows the politically correct to remain protected
in their castle on the moral high ground." David Conway, Anthony Browne,
The Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006)21.
4. Stick to rational, evidence-based arguments, not discussions of emotionally
difficult cases.
5. Feel compassion for "victims", but don't defer to them. If their
victimhood is self-inflicted, deferring to them will only entrench their
victimhood, rather than help them.
6. Don't do cultural relativism: stick to a level playing field, and
judge everyone by the same ethical standards. Just because someone is a "victim"
or a "minority" doesn't excuse unethical behavior that you wouldn't accept in
an "oppressor" or a "majority."
7. Don't feel guilty for something you are not responsible for: if you weren't
responsible for it, you can't be guilty.
8. Don't presume guilt by association. Judge people they are in
in themselves, not by their tenuous links to others.
9. Don't do zero tolerance. Humanity is not black and white, but
many shades of grey. Thinking in absolutes is not thinking at all.
10. Don't indulge in self-loathing. If you think you should be
proud of yourself, and your culture, then be so. Coming from a dominant
culture doesn't make you bad. 89-90.
David Conway, Anthony Browne, Retreat of Reason, (London: Institute for the Study
of Civil Society, 2006) 89-90.
Another crucial step MissLed women can to improve their pursuit of truth is to
learn to identify and thereby avoid Pseudoscience:
"How to Spot Pseudoscience: This 15-point checklist will help you tell science from pseudoscience.
When you hear any claim about a new product, a new discovery, or some paranormal ability, run it through
these fifteen questions and you'll get a pretty clear idea of whether or not it has any merit.
1. Does the claim meet the qualifications of a theory?
Very few claims that aren't true actually qualify as theories. Let's review the four main requirements that
a theory must fulfill. 1) A theory must originate from, and be well supported by, experimental evidence.
Anecdotal or unsubstantiated reports don't qualify. It must be supported by many strands of evidence, and
not just a single foundation. You'll find that most pseudoscience is supported by only a single foundation.
2) A theory must be specific enough to be falsifiable by testing. If it cannot be tested or refuted, it can't
qualify as a theory. And if something is truly testable, others must be able to repeat the tests and get the
same results. You'll find that this feature is truly rare among pseudosciences; they'll generally claim some
excuse or make up a reason why it can't be tested or repeated by others.
3) A theory must make specific, testable predictions about things not yet observed.
4) A theory must allow for changes based on the discovery of new evidence. It must be dynamic, tentative,
and correctable. You'll find that most pseudoscience does not allow for changes based on new discoveries.
2. Is the claim said to be based on ancient knowledge?
This is a sure sign that the claim is not based on scientific evidence, and it's intended to fool you into
thinking that because the ancient Chinese believed it, it must have merit. In fact many true theories are
not very old at all, because they've replaced older theories as knowledge has increased. Generally, the
more recent the evidence, the better scientific foundation it has.
3. Was the claim first announced through mass media, or through scientific channels?
Real discoveries go through an unbiased peer review process, which results in publication through
scientific journals. When a belief is first announced through the mass media, like Pons and Fleischman's
cold fusion experiments or like the Steorn Orbo perpetual motion machine, there's generally a reason its
proponents chose not to subject it to the scrutiny of peer review.
4. Is the claim based on the existence of an unknown form of "energy" or other paranormal phenomenon?
Loose, meaningless usage of a scientific-sounding word like "energy" is one of the most common red flags
you'll see on popular pseudoscience. Terms like energy fields, negative energy, chi, orgone, aura, psi,
and trans-dimensional energy are utterly meaningless in any scientific context. Approach with extreme caution.
5. Do the claimants state that their claim is being suppressed by authorities?
This is usually a really frail excuse for why mainstream scientists don't take their claim seriously, why
the product is not approved by the FDA, or why scientific journals won't publish their articles. You'll often
hear this in the form of a conspiracy of the medical establishment to suppress a quack cure because it's in
the interest of the medical industry to keep you sick. In fact, any doctor or pharmaceutical company that could
develop a new cure would make a huge fortune; they'd never suppress it. The same goes for auto manufacturers
worldwide who are said to be "suppressing" new efficient engine technologies.
6. Does the claim sound far fetched, or too good to be true?
When something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
Does the claim truly fit in with what we know of the way the world works? How often do claims that turn the world
upside down really turn out to be true? Approach such claims with extreme skepticism, and demand evidence that's
as extraordinary as the claim.
7. Is the claim supported by hokey marketing?
Be wary of marketing gimmicks, and keep in mind that marketing gimmicks are, by themselves, completely worthless.
Examples of hokey marketing that should always raise a red flag are pictures of people wearing white lab coats,
celebrity endorsements, anecdotes and testimonials from any source, and mentions of certifications, colleges, academies, and institutes.
8. Does the claim pass the Occam's Razor test?
Is there a simpler, natural explanation for the claim that does not require any supernatural component? Are results
consistent with the placebo effect or the body's natural healing capacity? Can a stage magician duplicate the psychic's
feats? The Law of Large Numbers states that a one-in-a-million event usually happens to everyone about once a month,
and since Occam's Razor says that the simpler of two possible explanations is usually the right one, don't leap for a
supernatural explanation just because you happened to dream about your grandmother on the night she died.
9. Does the claim come from a source dedicated to supporting it?
Science works by starting with a null hypothesis and searching for evidence. Pseudoscience starts with a positive
hypothesis and supports it with questionable research and anecdotal reasoning. It's unlikely that an institution
dedicated to the promotion of any given claim will present any type of evidence other than that which supports
their claim, and its bias should be given serious consideration.
10. Are the claimants up front about their testing?
Any good research will outline the testing that was done, and will present all evidence that did not support the
conclusion. Be skeptical of any claims that do not detail testing methodology that was thorough and responsible,
including external verification and duplication, or that do not provide evidence unsupportive of the conclusion.
11. How good is the quality of data supporting the claim?
Watch out when testing data might be susceptible to observational selection, which is the counting of hits and
not the misses, like we see with television psychics. Watch out when sample sizes are too small to have statistical
significance, as with most clinical trials of homeopathy. And especially watch out for hastily drawn causal
relationships: the assumption that because the relief occurred after the remedy, the remedy must have caused the relief.
12. Do the claimants have legitimate credentials?
Be aware that there is a huge number of unaccredited institutions (which are often just bedroom offices) giving
out degrees in just about anything. Be aware that some institutions claiming to be accredited received their
accreditation from unrecognized accreditation bodies. Finally, be aware that genuine accredited universities
often have programs in unscientific fields such as chiropractic, naturopathy, and acupuncture. You must be
vigilant. To see just how vigilant, go to ThunderwoodCollege.com and get your own Ph.D. in the field of
your choice in seconds, for free.
13. Do the claimants state that there's something wrong with the norm?
When real research is presented, it consists of the evidence that was discovered and the conclusion. It does not
go off on alarmist rants about how the food we eat is dangerous, how we're destroying the planet, how the
government covers up its evils, or how you're going to hell if you accept evolution. When a claim is presented
as an alternative to the wrongs of the status quo, it's a sign that the claim is probably based on ideology or
philosophy rather than science.
14. Is the claim said to be "all natural"?
As we've see time and time again, by no definition can "all natural" mean that a product is safe or healthy. Consider
the examples of hemlock, mercury, lead, toadstools, box jellyfish neurotoxin, asbestos — not to mention a nearly
infinite number of toxic bacteria and viruses (E. coli, salmonella, bubonic plague, smallpox). In many cases,
synthetic versions of natural compounds have been engineered to make them safer, more effective, and able to be
produced in large quantities.
15. Does the claim have support that is political, ideological, or cultural?
Some claimants suggest that it's moral, ethical, or politically correct to accept their claims, to redirect your
attention from the fact that they may not be scientifically sound. In some cases, such as Young Earth Creationism,
proponents use the court system to force schools to teach their claims as fact. Generally, when a theory is
scientifically sound, even if it's brand new it will eventually find its way into the educational curriculum. Good
science is done in the lab — not in the courts, not in protest marches, not in blogs, and not in church. A political
or cultural campaign to legalize or promote some product or claim is a major indicator that it's bogus.
http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4037
If MissLed women are to be more accurate in their assessments of situations, of people, and
of issues, ridding their minds of nonsense is a crucial first step.
Improved critical thinking skills will help Missled women to properly assess arguments
promoted in the popular culture. Separating those that are scientifically sound from those
based on “psychobabble” - pop-psych notions dressed up in increasingly fancy,
sciency-sounding language will help them to both avoid thinking traps and to consistently
detect nonsense.
Argument
Assumption
Biases
Blaming
Breast Cancer
Cognitive Distortions
Confirmation Bias
Confusion
Critical Thinking
Debilitative Emotions
Delusion
Denial
Detoxification
Diets
Egocentric Thinking
Elephant
Emotional Pollutants
Entitlement
Euphemisms
Fallacies
Fluff
Freud, Sigmund
Friendship
Frenemies
Horse
Illusion
Innumeracy
Irrational Inferences
Irrational Thinking
Karma
Magical Thinking
PC Thinking (Politically Correct)
Quackery
Rider
Romance
The Secret
Soul Mate
Thinking Traps
Vaccination
Victim Thinking
Weasel Words
Wishful Thinking
=====================================================================================
VICTIM
-IDENTITY
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP:
Unaware that they have tendency to overstate/overestimate their collective abilities.
Spurs a feeling of safety in numbers
Realism is decreased, while certainty is increased
Confidence can be inflated to point where what is actually risky, uncertain ideas seem likely to succeed.
Two heads aren't better than one
Group's final solution is often the first nominated or suggested
"The very process of putting individuals together to deliberate before they reach a conclusion almost
guarantees that the group's decision will NOT be the product of individual opinions. Instead, it will be
influenced by group dynamics, personality conflicts, and other social factors that have little to do with
who knows what, and why they know it." Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla,
(NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 96.
"...illusion of confidence...just like individuals, groups appear to be totally unaware that they
have this tendency to overstate their collective abilities." 97.
"...the misguided intuition that the best way for a group to use the abilities of its members in solving a problem is
to deliberate over the correct answer and arrive at a consensus." Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, The Invisible Gorilla,
(NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 96.
-groups final answer is too often first suggested
"People with dominant personalities tend to exhibity greater self-confidence, and due to the illusion
of confidence, others tend to trust and follow people who speak with confidence." 98.
"Our intuition tells us that groups should be more accurate and less overconfident than indivduals." Christopher Chabris and Daniel
Simons, The Invisible Gorilla, (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 102-103.
===================================================================================================================
MORAL ANIMAL
EGO
"The egocentric bias in accounting ranges from the epic to the minor." 277.
"If evolution punishes the greedy, why do humans seem unconsciously compelled to give a bit less than
they get?" 277.
"...our tendency to deflate the contributions of others."
"...corrective to our egocentricism; our balance sheets are perhaps more honest for high status people than for others." 282
POSITIVITY:
"We are built to be effective animals, not happy ones." 298.
"...the frequent ABSENCE of happiness is what keeps us pursuing it, and thus makes us more productive." 298.
"Feeling bad about yourself is good for things other than sending people self-serving signals. To begin with, there is
the function of...burning shame, a wrist- slapping for social blunders, a way of discouraging the repeat of status-reducing
behaviors." 271.
"...lethargy passes into mild depression, this mood may goad them into a fruitful change of course - changing careers,
jettisoning ungrateful friends, abandoning the pursuit of an elusive mate." 271.
"Count the ways in which glumness may be valuable...
One: As a self-esteem deflator...
Two: As a negative reinforcement
Three: as a course changer." 271
"...the aura of rightness surrounding so many of our actions may be delusional; even when they feel right, they may do harm." 341.
ARGUMENT:
"Forgetting inconvenient facts makes it easier to argue with force and conviction..." 320.
"The proposition here is that the human brain is, in large part, a machine for winning arguments, a machine for convincing others
that its owner is right - and thus a machine for convincing its owner of the same thing."280.
- see opponents arguments as implausible and silly
LOVE:
"Lifelong monogamous devotion is just not natural - not for women even, and emphatically not for men. It requires what, for lack
of a better term, we can call an act of will." 130.
COMMUNICATION:
"Language evolved as a way of manipulating people to your advantage (your advantage in this case popularity with an audience
that holds firm opinions); cognition, the wellspring of language, is warped accordingly." 295-296.'''
FRIENDS:
"Friends engage in mutal inflation. Being a person's true friends means endorsing the untruths he holds
dearest." 283
- treachery that is known to infest friendships
"To maintain a close friendship with two avowed enemies is to be in a position whose awkwardness is to viscerally felt." 283.
"...as friends form coalitions to support each other's status, the result is vast webs of self-deception, and, potentially,
violence." 284.
"One of the strongest bonds two friends can have - the greater starter and sustainer of friendships - is a common enemy." 285.
"In our friendships, as in other things, we're deepy inegalitarian. We value especially the affection of high-status people,
and are willing to pay for it - to expect less of them, to judge them leniently. Fondness for a friend may wane if his or her
status slips, if if it simply fails to rise as much as our own. We may, to facilitate the cooling of relations, justify it
"He (or she) and I don't have as uch as common as we used to. Like high status, for example." 314.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VICTIM"
Here is where the danger lies: at the core of victim thinking is the belief that if you’re a victim
of something, then the rules don’t apply to you.
Consequently, if you're not responsible, then you don't have to change anything: it's somebody else's fault.
- Effective in that people don't see victims as threatening (they get compassion, pity, or left alone)
ADOLESCENT:
- Excessive boasting
They feel victimized by household rules, limits and expectations from their parents.
Some of the thinking errors adolescents use are dishonesty, justification, making excuses, blaming others,
and playing the victim. And so you’ll see adolescents using victim thinking within this whole constellation of
thinking errors. And they use it to avoid taking responsibility for things they’ve done or things they don’t
want to do. For the most part, adolescents believe what they’re thinking; it’s not a manipulation. When your
child plays the victim, makes excuses or justifies himself, he believes what he's thinking and saying is true.
8 ADOLESCENT errors in thinking:.
1. Victim Stance
Definition: To not take responsibility for your own actions
Example: He made me steal the car.
2. Lack of Effort
Definition: To not put energy toward completing required tasks
Example: I am failing Science because I do not do my homework.
3. Lack of Concern for Others
Definition: To not care about another person by treating them poorly
Example: I hate the way you teach your class.
4.Fears Being Put Down or “Punked”
Definition: To not allow anyone to tell you what to do or to give you constructive criticism
Example: I do not have to do my chores. You can’t tell me what to do.
5.Refusing a Trust or Obligation
Definition: To not follow rules or refuse to participate
Example: I am not going to go to “Errors in Thinking” group because I do not need it.
6.Shows Weak and False Pride
Definition: To take pride in lack of accomplishments, create fears in others, and do the exact opposite of what is expected of a responsible citizen
Example: Give me that tape, or I am going to hit you.
7.Using Anger Inappropriately
Definition: To overuse anger in difficult situations
8. Poor Planning & Decision Making
Definition: To not think before you act
Example: I did not know that smoking marijuana would postpone my discharge.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
==============================================
In order to have a more pragmatic, realistic look at certain "givens"
in life, MissLed women would be well served to simply embrace, and accept, the following
5 inevitabilities:
1. Everything changes and ends.
2. Things do not always go according to plan.
3. Life is not always fair.
4. Pain is part of life.
5. People are not loving and loyal all the time.
"Each of the five main givens of life confront our deeply
held illusions. The fact that things change confronts the
illusion of permanence. The fact that plans fall through confronts
our illusion of control. Our illusion that things will be fair
or that pain will not happen to us or that people will be
trustworthy are called into question by the givens we face
in the course of life. The givens liberate us from
ignorance and illusion." David Richo, The Five Things We Cannot Change, (Boston: Shambhala,
2005) 6-7.
MissLed women who refuse to accept these givens are bound to experience:
"But when we oppose these five basic truths we resist reality, and life then becomes an endless series of disappointments, frustrations, and sorrows." David Richo, The Five Things We Cannot Change, (Boston: Shambhala, 2005) xii.
Once again, their misplaced pride gets in their own way. They often reject the 5 givens out of fear,
and from their (futile) desire to control events:
"The five simple facts of life defy and terrorize the mighty ego that insists
on full control." David Richo, The Five Things We Cannot Change, (Boston: Shambhala,
2005) xii.
=============================================
CRITICAL THINKING:
"Here is a list of 10 ways or techniques you can try to help improve critical thinking.
- Question the Evidence
- Establish Criteria
- Learn about Logic
- Learn about Logical Fallacies
- Identify the Premise
- Learn about Cognitive Bias
- Identify your Emotions
- Identify your Genetic Instincts
- Question your indoctrination
- Try to Prove yourself Wrong
February 23, 2011
Just world:
Indeed, the just world hypothesis is common, especially among Americans:
"You want the world to be fair, so you pretend it is." David McRaney, You are Not So Smart, (NY: Gotham Books, 2012) 109.
"People tend to believe that the world is inherently just. The wicked are eventually punished, the good
are rewarded, and problems are corrected. In other words, they believe that people get what they deserve." Fool Me Twice 282.
No comments:
Post a Comment