Illusins &Victim & Adescent

Largely thanks to MissThinking, and a plethora of misleading information and advice, too many MissLed women have a mistaken world-view. This results from a toxic formula of. ILLUSIONS ---> ASSUMPTIONS ---> DELUSIONS--->  CONFUSIONS----> DISILLUSION In extreme situations, following their disillusion, a painful DISSOLU- TION of their most critical personal relationships will also take place. This is a decay, disintegration, or termination of either their friendships with their fellow women or their intimate partnerships with their men. Illusions are the primary engine of reality distortion among MissLed wom- en. Specifically, cognitive illusions often are linked to ineffective logical rea- soning: “Cognitive illusions are the points where everyone’s apprehension breaks down and logic goes awry.” Michael Kaplan, Ellen Kaplan, “Bozo Sapiens: Why to Err is Human,” (NY: Bloomsbury Press, 2009) 113. Even worse for MissLed women, many are ignorant of their own suscep- tibility to illusions:  “The thing is, we are blind to our own illusions.” Tali Sharot, “The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain,” (NY: Vintage Books, 2012) 15.  Illusions are distorted beliefs that are not merely wrong, but wrong in dangerous ways. They negatively impact MissLed women’s thoughts, decisions and actions. Ironically, the problem with illusions is significantly compound- ed by MissLed women’s unawareness of their presence. The fact that they don’t see or know everything is made even worse because they often pridefully think they see or know practically everything. Indeed, illusions are particular- ly hazardous when MissLed women harbor the dangerous misperception that what they take at face value reflects reality: “An illusion is an illusion because we perceive it at face value - as reality.” Tali Sharot, “The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain,” (NY:
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Vintage Books, 2012) 6. According to Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons’ 2011 book “The Invisible Gorilla,” there are several common illusions that lead to errors in judgment. These result in thought-mistakes (cognitive distortions) that lead to unnecessary anxieties. Too often, these are a significant contributory factor in innumerable relationship conflicts and misunderstandings, especially for MissLed women. They can also be the source of the type of demoralization that induces people to prematurely give up on important goals. What makes illusions even more dangerous with some MissLed women is the mistaken overconfidence they have regarding the accuracy of their own perceptions, memories, and knowledge: “We all believe that we are capable of seeing what’s in front of us, of accurately remembering important events from our past, of understanding the limits of our knowledge, of properly determining cause and effect. But these intuitive beliefs are often mistaken ones that mask critically important limitations on our cognitive abilities.” Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, “The Invisible Gorilla,” (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) x. The following cognitive Illusions are all-too-common among MissLed women: The Illusion of Attention: They are largely unaware of how much they miss. Such a lack of awareness is not usually self-correcting (especially for excessively prideful MissLed women). Because MissLed women (like all hu- mans) have limited attention resources, they usually see only what they expect to see; more often than not, they fail to see what they do not expect to see: “The problem is that we lack positive evidence for our lack of attention. That is the basis of the illusion of attention. We are aware only of the unexpected objects we do notice, not the ones we have missed.” Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, “The Invisible Gorilla,” (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 37. The Illusion of Memory: The distortion and embellishment of memo- ries that adversely affect MissLed women’s recall of what actually transpired. Significantly, they are particularly prone to this illusion when part of those remembered events have a strong emotional impact: “In memory, people recall pleasant information more accurately than similarly intense unpleasant informa- tion, and unpleasant memories typically grow neutral with the passage of time.” Rüdiger F Pohl, “Cognitive Illusions: A Handbook on Fallacies and Biases in Thinking, Judgment and Memory,” (NY: Psychology Press, 2004) 269. The Illusion of Confidence: Due to this illusion, many MissLed women overrate their own abilities (especially in comparison to others). They tend to favorably interpret another person’s confidence as a sign that they have supe- rior ability. Ironically, and often dangerously, those MissLed women that are most incompetent tend to have the largest amount of misplaced confidence: “The incompetent face two significant hurdles: First, they are below average in
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ability. Second, since they don’t realize they are below average, they are unlikely to take steps to improve their ability.” Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, “The Invisible Gorilla,” (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 89. They misguidedly believe that they possess wider and deeper understand- ing than they, in fact, possess. Since they do not know what they think they know, the unfortunate consequences are often poor and damaging decisions. The Illusion of Knowledge: When MissLed women implicitly believe that they possess considerably more knowledge than they, in fact, actually do. Once again, bad decisions are often made because MissLed women don’t know what they are (wrongly) convinced that they “know”: “Over and over, the illusion of knowledge convinces us that we have a deeper understanding of what a project will entail, when all we really have is a rough and optimistic guess based on shallow familiarity.” Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons, “The Invisible Gorilla,” (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 126. The illusion of knowledge can also involve their opinion of others. When MissLed women assume that the so-called “experts” always know more, un- derstand more, can accomplish more, and can do more while doing it better, they can be misguided. Experts do err; their work is worthy of respect, but is not above skeptical scrutiny. The Illusion of Cause: MissLed women’s inclination to find causal rela- tionships where, in truth, none exist. (A particularly harmful and well known example is Jenny McCarthy’s specious claim that autism is caused by vacci- nation.) It stems from their strong inclination to find meaning in patterns (they wrongly perceive repeating patterns in randomness as predictive of fu- ture events.) They also incorrectly infer causal relationships from coincidences (assume that events that happen together have a causal relationship, when, in fact, the reality is coincidence.) Finally, they tend to wrongly assume that events that happen earlier were the direct cause of events that happened (or appear to have happened) later. The Illusion of Potential: Describes the effects of the widespread mis- belief that the human mind has unlimited potential. (A very popular myth is that humans only use 10% of their brains). MissLed women - who tend to cling to any belief that involves positivity or potential - are particularly susceptible to this belief. Many snake oil salesmen and saleswomen who are greedily and gleefully glad to foster this illusion: “The illusion of potential relies on the corollary belief that we have vast pools of untapped brain power just waiting to be released. The myth that we only use 10% of our brain is a direct statement of this idea. Hucksters use the belief in untapped potential to sell everything from miracle exercise regimens (great results with mini- mal effort) to ultra-fast speed reading. Self-claimed psychics argue that they discov- ered their abilities.” “Harry Potter and the Illusion of Potential,” by Daniel Si- mons, November 16, 2010, Psychology Today, http://www.psychologytoday.
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com/blog/the-gorilla-guys/201011/harry-potter-and-the-illusion-potential The Illusion of Validity: The inordinate amount of misplaced confidence that too many MissLed women have in their own judgment. This can persist even when faced with clear and convincing evidence that their judgment is mistaken. Ironically, they often have no idea that they don’t know what they are doing. The Illusion of Invulnerability: Refers to the presence of excessive opti- mism that encourages some MissLed women to take imprudent, even extreme risks. Typically, those MissLed women who have this illusion have the mis- placed belief that bad things only happen to other people. The Illusion of Control: Notwithstanding their own beliefs, much of what MissLed women misattribute to good (or bad) decisions they’ve made is actually the result of chance and/or forces way beyond their control: “The illusion of control is the tendency to believe that we can influence something over which we have absolutely no sway.” Rolf Dobelli, “The Art of Thinking Clearly,” (London: Sceptre, 2013) 50. Yet, in spite their lack of sway, they cling to this illusion, as it seems to offer protection against the many unpredictable things in life: “The illusion of control is an immensely powerful mechanism to immunize against harm, especially if it is unpredictable.” Bruce M. Hood, “The Science of Superstition: How the Developing Brain Creates Supernatural Beliefs,” (NY: HarperCollins, 2009) 17. With some MissLed women, the belief in a sense of control and their yearning for meaning fosters this illusion: “The illusion that life is both controllable and meaningful allows much of social life to proceed. The unpalatable truth that we are quite small and powerless in a world roiling with chaos and uncertainty is simply too much to bear.” “The Allure of Toxic Leaders: Why We Follow Destructive Bosses and Corrupt Politi- cians - and How We Can Survive Them,” (NY: Oxford U. Press, 2005) 51. The Illusion of Skill: MissLed women too often have a deeply ingrained illusion that their skill is responsible for their successes. Any facts that chal- lenge this assumption - and thereby threaten the illusion - are not acknowl- edged. Their mind simply does not digest them. Another illusion common with MissLed women is the Illusion of Objec- tivity. Within this illusion, MissLed women often will confidently claim to be objective about themselves and others. Not surprisingly, however, they are often mistaken: “Over and over again, studies show that people set out on a cognitive mission to bring back reasons to support their preferred belief or action. And because we are usually successful in this mission, we end up with the illusion of objectivity. We real- ly believe that our position is rationally and objectively justified.” Jonathan Haidt, “The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom,”
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(NY: Basic Books, 2006) 65. MissLed women are often prone to this illusion because their perception of reality is blurred by the pervasiveness and power of their emotions: “Our emotions’ guidance of our attention is the rule, not the exception.” “The Il- lusion of Objectivity Betrayed by the Pervasive Influence of Emotion,” by Bao Tran, August 4, 2011, http://selfunreflecting.wordpress.com/2011/08/04/ the-illusion-of-objectivity/ The Focusing Illusion is yet another illusion that is increasingly common with MissLed women. This occurs when MissLed women concentrate atten- tion, or anchor, on the influence of any one factor on their well-being. In other words, they fail to take into account that well-being usually results from many, often quite varied, factors. They also tend to exaggerate the importance of any single factor relative to the many factors that actually contribute to moment-to-moment happiness. Marketers and politicians excel at exploit- ing the Focusing Illusion. This enables them to influence MissLed women’s decision-making and behavior. In fact, the avoidance of advertisements and political rhetoric is the best tactic to avoid such influences. Unfortunately for them, MissLed women rarely manage to avoid either. As a result, they are too often seduced by the methods of the shrewd advertisers, propagandizers and manipulators. Still another illusion that is indicative of MissLed women’s self-absorption is the Egocentric Illusion: “The egocentric predicament entails an illusion. For the duration of our mortal existence we must occupy a physical organism; we must “occupy” a space and time. And herein lies the egocentric illusion, for it appears to each of us that our center is the hub of the whole universe, or, conversely, that the entire cosmos revolves around that point in space/time that we occupy.” James L. Christian, “Philosophy: An Introduction to the Art of Wondering,” (Boston, Wadsworth Cenage, 2006) 79. The final illusions which tend to plague MissLed women are the Illu- sion of Permanence, Illusion of Consistency, and the Introspection Illusion. When it comes to the Illusion of Permanence, MissLed women’s mispercep- tion of permanence reflects their propensity for wishful thinking. Too often MissLed women cling to a person or belief as if they expect them to never change and to be ever-present. In doing so, they set themselves up for dis- appointment and suffering. When the inevitable changes occur, the illusion is shattered, and they tend to become discouraged and afraid. Indeed, the Illusion of Permanence acts as a hindrance to their acceptance of, and mental preparation for, the inevitability of change: “Our belief that life isn’t change isn’t so much a delusion, however, as it is a misconception. For if we were to broaden our perspective and consider the frequency of change throughout humankind’s history - or better yet, throughout the history of
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the cosmos - it would quickly become clear that change is the rule, not the exception.” “The Illusion Of Permanence: The way we look at change determines how we experience it,” by Alex Lickerman, M.D., March 25, 2012 http://www. psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201203/the-illusion-perma- nence The Illusion of Consistency plagues far too many MissLed women. Too often, they are prone to overlook the inconsistencies in their thinking, beliefs, and behaviors. Indeed, since it is widespread, hidden and rarely recognized, it can be a particularly serious detriment to good decision-making. Finally, MissLed women’s misguided faith in the accuracy of their soul- searching often leads them to an Introspection Illusion: “Introspection is not reliable. When we soul-search, we contrive the findings. The belief that reflection leads to truth or accuracy is called the introspection illusion.” Rolf Dobelli, “The Art of Thinking Clearly, ” (London: Sceptre, 2013) 201. Why, then, are MissLed women’s particularly susceptible to these various and all-too-common cognitive illusions? For them, illusions are emotionally compelling - they seem so powerful and vivid that they appear real or true. The disturbing fact that life can be, at times, a series of confounding coin- cidences and inexplicable flukes is something they prefer to deny or ignore. MissLed women prefer instead to turn to nearly anything or anyone - astrol- ogers, gurus, rulebooks, programs, religious doctrines - that promises instead to provide a comforting sense of meaning and predictability from the chaos. Of course, such beliefs and biases don’t provide answers. That’s why they’re known as ILLUSIONS. Tragically, rather than offering them comfort and answers to life’s questions, they damage, detour, and derail MissLed women. Illusions detour and derail them from reaching their potential in terms of happiness, career success, and interpersonal relationships: “What we call illusion is really unshakable but unjustified assumption: our be- liefs about the world control what we are able to see. Why should we hobble our- selves in this way? Why can’t we allow life itself to teach us what to look for?” Ellen Kaplan, Michael Kaplan, “Bozo Sapiens: Why to Err is Human,” (NY: Bloomsbury Press, 2009) 77. “The real tragedy of the human condition is not that we must die, but that we choose to live by illusions. We trade off the sting of actuality for the comforting cocoon of illusions, insulated from fear.” Jean Lipman-Blumen, “The Allure of Toxic Leaders: Why We Follow Destructive Bosses and Corrupt Politicians - and How We Can Survive Them,” (NY: Oxford U. Press, 2005) 50. Assumptions “Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” -Isaac Asimov  An assumption is something that is presupposed or taken for granted.
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Most often, it is something MissLed women previously learned and, unwise- ly, never questioned. Assumptions and inferences permeate MissLed women’s lives precisely because humans cannot act without them. They make judg- ments, form interpretations, and come to conclusions based on the beliefs they have formed. Assumptions are part of MissLed women’s system of beliefs. They assume their beliefs to be true and use them to interpret the world about them. This is all quite normal and understandable. The problem, however, lies with their tendency to neither question nor examine the accuracy or validity of their assumptions. Humans unknowingly make hundreds of assumptions without being aware of them. While many assumptions are sound and justifiable, many, however, are clearly not. Indeed, since assumptions are usually unconscious, they often embody prejudices, biases and one-sided beliefs. For MissLed women, the root of many of their thinking problems often lies with false assumptions. Their propensity for misguided assumptions can lead to profound misunderstandings and conflicts. There’s a good reason for the popularity of the clever quip, “When you A-S-S-U-M-E, you make an ASS, out of U, and ME.” It is not only good for a chuckle, but, far too often, it rings true to life in describing MissLed women’s tendency to make unfounded assumptions. Assumptions often follow a predictable path. For MissLed women, the fol- lowing is the typical, misguidedly ignorant and arrogant progression of their Assumptions: Ignorance Assumption --> Idiocy Assumption --> Evil Assumption When faced with those who disagree with them, MissLed women com- mence with the Ignorance Assumption (“You just don’t understand all the facts as well as I do!”). They then continue to the Idiocy Assumption (“Ok, you do understand the facts, but you are too stupid to see them as I do!”). Finally, they finish with the Evil Assumption (“You may understand these facts but you are evil and so arrive at the wrong conclusions!”). In fact, misplaced overconfidence tends to misdirect MissLed women’s as- sumptions:  “Because we are so confident of our beliefs, we experience three reactions when someone fails to share our views: Response 1: Assumption of Ignorance. The other party clearly lacks the nec- essary information. If he knew what you know, he would be of the same opinion.  Reaction 2: Assumption of Idiocy. The other person has the necessary informa- tion, but his mind is underdeveloped. He cannot draw the obvious conclusions. In other words, he’s a moron.  Response 3: Assumption of Malice: Your counterpart has the necessary infor-
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mation - he can understand the debate - but he is deliberately controversial. He has evil intentions.” Rolf Dobelli, The Art of Thinking Clearly, (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 2013) 201-202. Of course, one, two, or even all three of these responses can turn out to be shown as unjust or misguided assumptions: “Do not assume that those who think differently are idiots...Before you dis- trust them, question your own assumptions.” Rolf Dobelli, “The Art of Thinking Clearly,” (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 2013) 232. “We have...evolved a of mind full of assumptions, shortcuts, rules of thumb, heuristics - theories or the world and all within it - to allow us to block out most information and act quickly, despite our brain’s limited input capacity and slow clock speed. Such theories are bound to be at least partly wrong, and to work only in certain situations.” Michael Kaplan, Ellen Kaplan, “Bozo Sapiens: Why to Err is Human,” (NY: Bloomsbury Press, 2009) vi. Much of what is wrong with human thought can be found in the un- founded, uncritical, or unexamined assumptions that underlie it. Assumptions and inferences permeate MissLed women lives precisely because they cannot act without them. People make judgments, form interpretations, and come to conclusions based on the assumptions and beliefs that they have formed. Many assumptions are sound and justifiable. Some, however, are neither, and those get MissLed women into trouble. Not surprisingly, then, a proclivity for these often unwarranted assumptions can lead MissLed women into serious personal difficulties. Such behavior tends to alienate their friends, family, and colleagues. Even worse, faulty assumptions can significantly hinder the clarity of MissLed women’s vision of the world: “What we call illusion is usually unbreakable or unjustified assumption: our beliefs about the world control what we are able to see. Why should we hobble ourselves in this way? Why can’t we allow life itself to teach us what to look for?” Michael Kaplan, Ellen Kaplan, “Bozo Sapiens: Why to Err is Human,” (NY: Bloomsbury Press, 2009) 77. Delusions “How, in particular, do the true believers manage to convince themselves and others that they are the rational, reasonable ones and everyone else is deluded?” Stephen Law, “Believing Bullshit,” (Amherst, NY: Prometheus Books, 2011) 9. After being partially or completely blinded by illusions, and partially or fully misguided by their assumptions, not surprisingly, many MissLed women are left prone to delusions. Delusions are false beliefs that are unyielding to actual reality. These mis- taken or misleading opinions, ideas, or beliefs, create an alternate (more fa- vorable to them) reality. Delusions replace the actual facts, which are either buried out of sight or denied.
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Compounding the already troubling aspects of delusions is that MissLed women tend to cling to them quite strongly - often with a misplaced cer- tainty in their genuineness, regardless of any contradictory or invalidating evidence. Indeed, delusions, much like fantasies, are powerful, seductive, ego defense mechanisms. Much like ignorance, however, they are often a blissful escape - but merely short-lived ones. The damage they inflict can be pervasive and profound. Consider how delusions impact some MissLed women’s per- sonal lives. For example, some deludedly insist that they “deserve” to be un- conditionally loved by a doting, passionate, wonderful man. Others danger- ously delude themselves regarding their financial status. This happens when they hold the delusion that they can afford a luxury item, despite the fact that it is far outside their budget. Similarly, some are deluded into believing that they can pay off their credit card debt (when they are actually headed to a humiliating, destructive bankruptcy). Even delusions of grandeur are on the rise among MissLed women. Given all the media and cultural encouragement of female empowerment, this is not surprising. Pumped up from all of the exhortations of “go girl” from media, parents and school, too many have an overestimation of their own attractive- ness, personal worth, or overall importance. Witness the disturbing number of women that are proudly deluded enough to proclaim themselves goddess- es, princesses, divas, or even bitches (all of which imply power and/or majesty, hence their delusional expectations of special treatment). Too many MissLed women suffer from the delusion that they are much more talented, intelligent, powerful and influential than they really are. Often this delusion is accompanied by an attitude of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. Harboring such delusions can significantly impact MissLed women’s health and damage their long-term interests: “Allowing delusion to focus your attention on short-term gains blocks the fulfill- ment of long-term core needs. The result can be serious consequences to your overall emotional and physical health. Once immersed in a delusional reality, you lose your ability to separate fact from fiction.” Carl Alasko, Ph. D., “Emotional Bullshit,” (NY: Penguin Books, 2008) 21. “Delusion is a psychological processes that has no useful roles in adult relation- ships. In relationships, you delude yourself about another person at your risk and peril.” Carl Alasko, “Emotional Bullshit,” (NY: Penguin Books, 2008) 20. Delusions can also serve as enabling mechanisms for those MissLed wom- en who seek to avoid personal responsibility or accountability: “Delusion can also help you 'defend' yourself (unethically) from being held ac- countable for a deliberate violation. If you’re accused of doing something dishonest or deceitful, all you have to do is protest loudly, 'I didn’t do it! I’m innocent!' If your objection is emphatic and frequent, you can create a delusional 'alternate reality of innocence.” Carl Alasko, Ph. D., “Emotional Bullshit,” (NY: Penguin Books,
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2008) 21–22. For too many deluded MissLed women, even extensive personal experience is not adequate protection against their development of a dangerously inac- curate world-view: “With more years of life experience behind us, we should be able to perceive the world more accurately - to distinguish delusions of hope from hard-core reality. We should, but we don’t.” Tali Sharot, “The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irratio- nally Positive Brain,” (NY: Vintage Books, 2012) xiv. Finally, many MissLed women harbor dangerous and damaging delusions with regard to changing men. They see themselves as relationship Florence Nightingales. In their deluded minds, their love has magical healing power: “The whole premise of being a Florence Nightingale means that the rela- tionship only ‘works’ for you if you are needed and are fixing, healing, helping.” “Florence Nightingale: Why needing to fix/heal/help in the name of love is unhealthy,” by Natalie Lue, May 7, 2010, http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ florence-nightingale-why-needing-to-fixhealhelp-in-the-name-of-love-is- unhealthy-p1/ In actuality, however, relationship Florence Nightingales are attempting to project their own delusional expectations and unrealistic standards upon their relationship partners.  In order to move beyond dangerous illusions and delusions, whenever pos- sible, MissLed women must reduce or eliminate as many of both as possible.  This will prove invaluable to them, as it will enable them to perceive their world much more clearly: “Understanding everyday illusions will lead you to recalibrate the way you ap- proach your life to account for the limitations – and the true strengths - of your mind...Ultimately, seeing through the veils that distort how we perceive ourselves and the world will connect you - for perhaps the first time - with reality.” Chris- topher Chabris and Daniel Simons, “The Invisible Gorilla,” (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) xiii. Confusions “Truth emerges more readily from error than from confusion.” – Francis Bacon In today’s turbulent and rapidly changing society, MissLed women’s are particularly prone to confusion. Their tendencies to harbor Illusions, hold on to Delusions, and persist with Assumptions contribute significantly to their increasing number of confusions. What are MissLed women typically confused about? First and foremost, many are confused about what is right and wrong – they don’t possess a mor- al compass. Left to their own moral whims, they are easily and repeatedly left puzzled and confused. As a result, the simplest moral concepts - such as whether to perceive actions as “fair” or “right” - confuse them. Other typical
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examples of subjects which confuse MissLed women: • Cause and Effect (in events) • Love and Lust (within a sexual liaison) • Meaning of Words vs. Actions Many MissLed women are also confused about what to do with their new personal freedoms. Sexual choices, career options, personal obligations - all cause confusion and consternation for many women. Lastly, many seem per- petually confused by men (mainly because they’ve been misled to expect men to think, feel, and perceive in ways that are similar to theirs). Society feeds their increasing number of confusions by continuously encouraging them to “follow their hearts” and trust their supposedly reliable intuition. At the same time, it promotes education and the pursuit of career “success” as the most important goals for “happiness.” Much of what is preached is grossly misleading - the outcomes promised by the messages don’t come close to matching their resultant realities. Is it any wonder that so many women struggle with confusions and don’t know their best path for happiness? For many MissLed women, confusions remain, even when reality inevitably imposes itself in their lives. Some of the most persistent and frustrating con- fusions ultimately result in painful DISILLUSION. Disillusion These feelings of disenchantment that set in when MissLed women frustrat- ingly discover that they have been deceived. They finally understand that the fairy tales told to them by Disney and their parents have no relation to reality as an adult. At last, they realize: • That the other illusions, beliefs, or other misguided convictions or ideals they held so dear are not valid. • That the romantic comedies and so-called romance novels don’t depict anything close to real life. • That having a successful career won’t make them happy, personally fulfilled, or more attractive to men. What is the best explanation for why so many MissLed women are dis- illusioned and resentful by the time they reach mid-life? Why do they tend to have dour dispositions, worry lines, and walled-off personas? Why do many, ultimately, decided to file for divorce? For many, the explanation lies in their realization that they’ve been lied to all of their lives. They recognize and accept that fairy tales don’t come true; that life is not fair; karma isn’t real; soul mates don’t exist; and that their expectations for romance are unrealizable. Some, having lost their dreams, descend into bit- terness or resentment. They feel they’ve been unfairly shortchanged by life’s broken promises. In today’s culture of blame, something - or someone - there-
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fore must be to blame for having wasted MissLed women’s precious time on futile fantasies. Most often, that someone is MEN. Dissolutions MissLed women’s illusions, delusions, assumptions, confusions and disillusion can so degrade their personal lives that they can ultimately lead to dissolu- tions. In fact, breakdowns, disruptions and disintegrations of their personal relationships are too common among MissLed women. In the worst cases, their most cherished beliefs are shattered, and their most valued relationships and closest friendships are terminated. For many MissLed women, dissolu- tions are the last stage - the end; the liquidation of so much effort, time, and expense. What a tragic, horrendous price many women pay for MissLed thinking, believing and behaving!
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Instead of encouraging women to be strong in society, the modern progressive knee-jerk response is to blame everyone else.” Alex B. Berezon, Hank Camp- bell, “Science Left Behind,” (NY: Public Affairs, 2012) 233. “Our society supports this way of thinking, by helping us blame unfair love relationships, childhood abuse, parental abandonment, or emotional or sexual trauma for all of our painful emotions, behaviors, and choices. We may hate the fact thaWhile many mature women are prospering, some women’s minds are stalled at an immature thinking stage. Too many MissLed women’s minds are mired in ignorance and immaturity, in large part due to their adolescent thinking. Unfortunately for them, their thinking never matured or developed beyond the natural human tendency to think in merely adolescent terms. This is shown by: • An intense preoccupation with their own feelings. • A misplaced belief that they are special and unique. • Imaginary Audience. Encouraged by the fleeting attention they re- ceive from others, they mistakenly think they are the focus of others’ attention (style, body, hair). They falsely perceive that others must do the same thing that they do - namely, think about and monitor them. They fail to realize that while they may be preoccupied with themselves, others are not so inclined. • Personal Fable. Their ardent belief that their feelings and experienc- es can not be understood by others - because they are unique. • Illusion of Invulnerability. Their misinformed belief that bad things will not happen to them (only to other people). This often allows them to (delusively) believe they can get good outcomes without having to do the appropriate amount of work. The typical consequences of adolescent thinking are significant. They in- clude dishonesty, justification, making excuses, blaming others, and playing the victim. There are 8 common indicators of adolescent thinking: Victim Stance. When MissLed women do not take responsibility for their own actions. Example: “He got me drunk.” Lack of Effort. When MissLed women do not put sufficient energy to- ward completing their required tasks. Lack of Concern for Others.  Shown when MissLed women who do not have an age-appropriate amount of focus on other people’s welfare.
Adolescent Thinking
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Fears Being Put Down or “Punked.” When MissLed are afraid to let any- one tell them what to do, or to give them constructive criticism. Refusing a Trust or Obligation. When MissLed women will not follow rules or refuse to fulfill an obligation. Shows Weak and False Pride. When MissLed women have unwarranted pride despite their lack of accomplishments, create fear in others, and do the exact opposite of what is expected of a responsible citizen. Using Anger Inappropriately. Those MissLed women who overuse anger in difficult situations. Poor Planning & Decision Making. Those MissLed women who do not think before they act. Not surprisingly, those MissLed women who think on the level of an ad- olescent are unable to consistently behave in a mature manner. Since they did not learn to properly analyze situations, they tend to do what they feel, instead of what needs to be done: “The ability to analyze situation and do what needs to be done rather than what we feel like doing is the very essence of maturity. It is a skill hard won, and that requires regular exercise to remain viable.” Albert Bernstein, Ph. D., “Emotion- al Vampires at Work: Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers Who Drain You Dry,” (NY: McGraw-Hill Education, 2013) 20. A final cost to MissLed women who think at the adolescent level is in communication. As would be expected, their immature thinking leads them to write and speak in ways that are less creative, less articulate, and thereby, less effective. Such a communication deficit in their personal and professional lives has significant costs (for more on this, see MissCommunication section.) Why Does Adolescent Thinking Matter? Too often, MissLed women who engage in adolescent thinking tend to blame, to justify their words or actions, to attempt to rationalize bad behaviors, to seek to minimize any errors, or to make excuses for any mistakes. Not sur- prisingly, these damaging results of adolescent thinking can have significant adverse effects on MissLed women’s personal relationships.






Pc is the wholesale replacement of rigorous thought with virtuous ideas and behavior. In order to gain the upper hand on reason and analysis, PC relies on two potent tactical weapons: pretense and dishonesty.” Michael R. LeGault, “Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye,” (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 110. The last, but certainly not the least, common thinking problem with MissLed women is Politically Correct thinking. Political Correctness - PC - fosters the dangerous practice of restraining speech. Any opinion or comment deemed offensive, or other otherwise undesirable, is expected to be self-cen- sored. Such thoughts are strongly discouraged - and any expression of them is strictly prohibited. Within PC thinking, some terms are taboo. If referred to at all, taboo terms are described as “unacceptable” or “inappropriate”: “Political correctness inculcates a sense of obligation or conformity in areas which should be (or are) matters of choice. Nevertheless, it has had a major influence on what is regarded as acceptable or appropriate in language, ideas, behavioral norms, and values.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 4. Instead of providing open and honest communication, PC thinking sub- stitutes an approved vocabulary of correct terms for any terms that are deemed unacceptable or inappropriate. In addition, PC euphemisms are used to refer both to groups that are supposedly stigmatized and allegedly prejudicial prac- tices. MissLed women often unquestionably embrace, and even promote, the concept of PC. It appeals to them because they misperceive it as benevolent. For them, PC is “fair,” “inclusive,” and “sensitive.” In truth, however, it is yet another form of evil - done in the name of good. PC thinking encourages: Conformity in Thought and Action: PC thinking leads MissLed women towards stifling conformity, and away from critical thinking and the open expression of frank opinions and ideas. One of the most limiting aspects of PC is its restriction of acceptable thoughts. Any ways of thinking that might challenge the powers that be are either verboten or, at a minimum, marginalized. As a result, MissLed women
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who are PC-oriented unthinkingly conform - they sheepishly toe the party line. In fact, when many PC statements are de-constructed, they can be clearly seen for what they are - nothing more than vapid, feel good statements. Yet, still, PC thoughts and statements tend to appeal to MissLed women because they are deemed safe. This allows them to avoid the discomfort that usually accompanies conflicts or controversies: “...correctness brought conformity in accepting new agendas, new limits on free- dom of expression, and a general avoidance of certain controversial topics.” Geof- frey Hughes, “Political Correctness: A History of Semantics,” (Oxford: John Wiley & Sons, 2010) 284. Misplaced Feelings of Moral Superiority: For MissLed women, PC thinking feeds their desire to see themselves as morally superior. They voice soothing sentences or write sweet sentiments to demonstrate how much they “care.” Yet, while preaching compassion and “tolerance,” they are, themselves, often quite intolerant: “The intolerant, sanctimonious moral superiority that sustains the beliefs of the politically correct means that they are easily offended by the views of others. There are few as intolerant as those who preach tolerance. In contrast, if your beliefs are upheld by reason and empiricism, then opposing views don’t offend you, they in- trigue you.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (Lon- don: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 26. Misperception of the World through Rose-Colored Glasses: “Political correctness is a way of thinking - or rather emoting - that often so engulfs someone’s mind that they are unaware of it. If you wear rose-tinted glasses long enough, it seems normal that the whole world is rose.” David Conway, An- thony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 79. Wrongheaded and Misconceived Classifications of “Victims”: “Political Correctness is an ideology that classifies certain groups of people as victims in need of protection from criticism, and which makes believers feel that no dissent should be tolerated.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 4. Blame Game: PC thinking tends to align with the famed philosopher Rousseau’s view of humanity. Therein, humans, in a state of nature, are fundamentally good. Society, however, corrupts them. If “man is born free, but he is everywhere in chains,” it follows that somebody is to blame for their tragic plight (usu- ally, white males). Political correctness, much like the widespread Marxism which preceded it, is a blame game. It theorizes that a conspiracy based on race (white), gender (male), sexual persuasion (straight) and class (the capital- ists) exploits, demeans and abuses everybody else. The consequences of these
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misplaced and foolish ideas resulting from PC thinking are widespread, and deadly serious: “Ideas have consequences, and the consequences of foolish ideas can be appalling.” John M. Ellis, “Literature Lost: Social Agendas and the Corruption of the Humanities,” (Binghampton, NY: Vail-Ballou Press U., 1997) 164. The most serious consequences of MissLed women’s PC thinking: •  Truth means less than “goodness.” •  Dissent of PC concepts is not tolerated. •  That which is “correct” and that which is “incorrect” are dictated. •  Topics are forbidden.  As a result of these limitations on freedom of thought, people are afraid to speak up, or to state provocative opinions, for fear of being branded “racist,” “sexist,” “intolerant,” or “judgmental.” Perhaps the most damaging overall consequence of PC thinking is that it tends to close MissLed women’s minds. Their thoughts are swayed toward feelings and away from clear reasoning: “Across much of the public sphere, it has replaced reason with emotion, subordi- nating objective truth to subjective truth...Rather than opening minds, it is closing them down...By closing down debates, it restricts the ability to society to tackle the problems that face it.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Rea- son,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) xii–xiii. Indeed, MissLed women’s PC thinking - and their resultant support of PC concepts - is a threat to open-mindedness, both men’s and women’s comfort with speaking freely, and liberal democracy: “Those that do not conform (to PC) should be ignored, silenced or vilified. There is a kind of soft totalitarianism about Political Correctness.” David Conway, An- thony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 2. For some MissLed women (those who lack a personal ethical system or moral compass), such PC thinking fills their moral vacuum: “It is a belief system that echoes religion in providing ready, emotionally satisfy- ing answers for a world too complex to understand fully, and providing a gratify- ing sense of righteousness absent in our otherwise secular society.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 6.  Indeed, PC thinking also leads to the avoidance of discussion or argument relating to controversial or provocative topics:  “We tend to shy away from discussion about ‘unpleasant’ things. The Gesta- po-like, motherly dictum ‘Never talk about politics or religion’ has expanded to a more encompassing ‘Never risk venturing beyond matter-of-fact observation and common anecdote.’ ” Michael R. LeGault, “Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye,” (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 110.
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A final price of PC thinking is that, in PC land, women are largely im- mune from being criticized by others - or, even more dangerously, from self-criticism: “Any suggestion that women are co-architects of their unhappiness or failure to prosper shall be deemed tantamount to misogyny, horizontal hostility, and internal sexism. We’re to ignore, deny, shift blame, and sweep all evidence of internal thrash- ing under a rug of complacency. Play along, or you’re anti-woman.” Kelly Valen, “The Twisted Sisterhood: Unraveling the Dark Legacy of Female Friend- ships,” (NY: Ballentine Books, 2010) 13. Why Does PC Thinking Matter? While PC terms often sound harmless, and are lauded by many as sensitive and advantageous, they actually hinder the ability to think. PC thinking se- verely limits MissLed women’s ability to express themselves openly and effec- tively. For them, truth in thoughts or speech is too often sacrificed on the altar of being non-offensive. What’s needed is for everyone - including MissLed women - to feel free to speak honestly and openly in private discussions and public debates. Speech is best guided by sound arguments, founded in facts and guided by reason. MissLed women would be better served if they adjusted their mindset away from political correctness and toward factual correctness. Otherwise, PC’s emotionalism, dogmatism, and intolerance of dissent will continue to dominate far too much private and public discourse: “By its very nature, politically correct thinking is most often disingenuous, if not altogether intellectually dishonest. Politically correct thinking replaces individual- ity and authentic opinions with socially acceptable rhetoric and watered-down be- havioral tendencies.” “Politically Correct Leader? Oxymoron!” by Mike Myatt, 12/07/2011 http://www.forbes.com/sites/mikemyatt/2011/12/07/political- ly-correct-leader-oxymoron/  In sum, those MissLed women who habitually think via a politically cor- rect filter are often sentenced to a life of mediocre performance, and vulnera- bility to totalitarian ideals and leaders: “More and more, large numbers of people substitute PC views, hard-line po- litical ideology, or cultish balderdash for hard-won knowledge and flexible, pow- erful reasoning and problem-solving skills.” Michael R. LeGault, “Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye,” (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 122. “The Politically Correct are more intolerant of dissent than traditional liberals or even conservatives...Those who do not conform should be ignored, silenced, or vilified. There is a kind of soft totalitarianism about Political Correctness.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 2

INTUITIVE EGO WISHFUL GROUP

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of coaches, “experts,” and even self-proclaimed “matchmakers.” Such advice serves to flatter, or even intoxicate MissLed women, as it feeds their egocentric belief that women have special ways of knowing. Such supposed women-only ability serves to boost their belief that women are “special” - their intuitive thoughts deserve commensurate respect and acute attention.  Such ability, of course, exists largely in MissLed women’s imaginations. And there are significant costs to such misplaced belief. In fact, common thinking errors resulting from intuitive thinking include over-optimism, un- tested attitudes, superficial biases and wishful thinking. Specifically, MissLed women’s intuitive thinking is subject to be hindered by: Hindsight bias (I knew it all along.) Self-serving bias (They accept more responsibility for successes than for failures.) Overconfidence bias (Their tendency to intuitively assume that the world actually is as they perceive it.) Confirmation bias (They remember the times intuition “hits” while for- getting the many other times that intuitive thinking “misses.” They rarely understand the role of chance and coincidence, preferring to give credit to meta-physical causes.) Indeed, intuitive thinking - like any other type of thinking - often lacks objectivity when it comes to evaluating its own level of success: “In fact, we remember much more easily those flashes of intuitive brilliance, causing us to overvalue our intuition because we over-remember its successes.” J. Edward Russo, Paul J.H. Schoemaker, “Winning Decisions: Getting It Right the First Time,” (NY: Doubleday, 2002) 136. “Intuition also is prone to err when we evaluate our own knowledge and abil- ities. This is most strikingly evident in three robust phenomena: hindsight bias, self-serving bias and overconfidence bias.” David G. Myers, “Intuition: Its Pow- ers and Perils,” (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 88. Due to their propensity for fearfulness and emotional reasoning, MissLed women have an unfortunate tendency to think or feel intuitively afraid of spectacular or uncommon risks, yet their minds downplay the common risks:  “It is no coincidence that fear is flourishing in the age of emotion and intuition.” Michael R. LeGault, “Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye,” (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 248. MissLed women’s overconfidence in the concept of “women’s intuition” can result in their intuitive thinking running amok. This occurs when they fail to balance intuition with logical reasoning. In addition, MissLed women’s emo- tionalism clouds their ability to think intuitively: “Our passions infiltrate our intuitions. When in a bad mood, we read someone’s
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neutral look as a glare; in a good mood, we intuit the same look as interest.” David G. Myers, “Intuition: Its Powers and Perils,” (New Haven, CT: Yale Univer- sity Press, 2002) 73. Why does MissLed women’s misplaced confidence in their intui- tive thinking matter? Intuition is a normal and important component of thought. However, MissLed women who rely heavily on intuitive thinking are playing with fire. Why, then, do too many strongly prefer intuitive thinking? Simply put-it is very popular, strongly encouraged (especially among women) and consid- erably easier than critical thinking and logical reasoning. Finally, too often, MissLed women are seduced by the simplicity and speed of intuitive thinking. There’s a heavy cost to pay for taking the easier, popular path of intui- tive thinking. Broadly speaking, MissLed women do not receive the rewards earned by the harder work of critical thinking and its main elements; obser- vation, logical reasoning and skepticism. MissLed women must move beyond their overconfidence in the power of intuition, along with their emotional attachments to its reliability. In fact, in- tuition is most trustworthy only after a person does the hard work of gaining knowledge and wisdom. Only then - and only when combined with reason and filtered through experience - can intuitive thinking make the best con- tribution to effective decision making and self-affirming behavior: “Social psychologists have...accumulated a list of classic demonstrations of our intuition failing to recognize things that matter.” David G. Myers, “Intuition: Its Powers and Perils,” (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 76. “So, despite our impressive capacity for thinking without awareness, for social intuitions and for intuitive expertise and creativity, our intuitions sometimes mis- lead us as to what we have experienced, how we have changed, what has influenced us and what we will feel and do.” David G. Myers, “Intuition: Its Powers and Perils,” (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2002) 86. In summary, intuitive thinking must be utilized with extreme care when making important decisions: “The key to successful decision making is knowing when to trust your intuition and when to be wary of it and do the hard work of thinking things through.” Chabris and Daniel Simons, “The Invisible Gorilla,” (NY: Broadway Books, 2011) 235. “To those who study decision-making, the most striking feature of intuitive judgment is not its occasional brilliance but its rampant mediocrity.” J. Edward Russo, Paul J.H. Schoemaker, “Winning Decisions: Getting It Right the First Time,” (NY: Doubleday, 2002) 135-136.
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The tendency for some MissLed women to view everything in relationship to themselves. They confuse immediate perception (how things seem) with reality. Consequently, their desires, values and beliefs (which seem to be self-evidently correct or superior to those of others) are often un- critically used as the norm of all judgment and experience. Egocentric thinking is instinctive. Humans do not naturally consider the rights and needs of others, nor do they appreciate the limitations in their own points of view. They become explicitly aware of their egocentric thinking only if trained to do so. Since they tend to lack sufficient training, MissLed women often fail to recognize their egocentric assumptions. They also tend to un- derestimate or misconstrue the implications of their egocentric thoughts. Unfortunately for them, they also are largely unaware of the egocentric way they use information, the egocentric way they interpret data, or the source of their egocentric concepts and ideas. MissLed women naturally believe in their intuitive perceptions - however inaccurate. They do not recognize their self-serving perspective. Instead of using intellectual standards in thinking, they often use self-centered psychological (rather than intellectual) standards to determine what to believe and what to reject. Here are MissLed women’s innate, self-centered, psychological tendencies that determine what they be- lieve, and what they reject: “It’s True Because I Believe It.” Innate Egocentrism - MissLed women assume that what they believe is true, even though they have never questioned the basis for many of their beliefs. “It’s True Because We Believe It.” Innate Sociocentrism - They assume that the dominant beliefs within the groups to which they belong are true, even though they have never questioned the basis for many of these beliefs. “It’s True Because I Want To Believe It.” Innate Wish Fulfillment - MissLed women believe in accounts of behav- ior that put them (or the groups to which they belong) in a positive rather
Egocentric Thinking
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than a negative light. Any evidence that is negative is ignored or given short shrift. They believe what “feels good,” what supports their other beliefs, what does not require them to change their thinking in any significant way, and what does not require them to admit they have been wrong. “It's true because I have always believed it.” Innate Self-Validation - They have a strong desire to maintain beliefs that they have long held. Self-validation persists, even though they have not seriously considered the extent to which those beliefs are justified given the evidence. “It's true because it is in my selfish interest to believe it.” Innate Selfishness - MissLed women hold fast to beliefs that justify them receiving more power, money, or personal advantage. Once again, these are held even though such beliefs are not grounded in sound reasoning or evi- dence. Given these tendencies, it is not surprising that egocentricity is one of the fundamental impediments to critical thinking. In fact, when one learns to think critically in a strong sense, one learns to become more rational and less egocentric. MissLed women, unfortunately, have insufficiently developed critical thinking ability. This deficit leaves them prone to these egocentric tendencies: Egocentric Infallibility - MissLed women’s tendency to think that their beliefs are true merely because they believe them. Egocentric Memory - MissLed women “forget” evidence and information which does not support their thinking and to “remember” evidence and in- formation which does. Conveniently, they remember evidence that supports their position and suppress relevant counter evidence. Egocentric Myopia - MissLed women think in an absolutist way within an overly narrow point of view. This is their intellectual shortsightedness, which is based upon their dogmatic (non-falsifiable, rigid, inflexible) commitments to an overly narrow point of view (i.e. ethnocentrism, provincialism). Egocentric Irrationality - MissLed women too often think in a manner that lacks rationality. This tends to restrict them from examining the concerns and interests that are necessary for their success. Egocentric Righteousness - MissLed women feel superior in the light of their misplaced confidence that they are in the possession of the truth. In fact, they have a delusionary sense of superiority over the average person based upon an unwarranted, and, therefore, misguided belief that they possesses the truth. In sum, such thinking is an unwarranted over-confidence in the correctness of MissLed women’s views. Egocentric Hypocrisy - MissLed women ignore flagrant inconsistencies between what they profess to believe and the actual beliefs their behavior im- ply, or inconsistencies between the standards to which they hold themselves
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and those to which they expect others to adhere. Egocentric Oversimplification - MissLed women ignore real and import- ant complexities in the world in favor of simplistic notions. This is often done when consideration of those complexities would require them to modify their beliefs or values. Egocentric Blindness - MissLed women fail to notice facts or evidence which contradict their favored beliefs or values. Egocentric Immediacy - MissLed women overgeneralize immediate feel- ings and experiences. They are so absorbed in the immediacy of the moment that MissLed women overextend, project, or overgeneralize these immediate feelings to completely different, unrelated spheres of existence or experience. Thus, when one event in their life is highly favorable or unfavorable, all of life seems favorable or unfavorable as well. Egocentric Absurdity - MissLed fail to notice thinking which has “ab- surd” consequences, when noticing them would force them to rethink their position. They are blind to the logical absurdities (contradictions and incon- sistencies) of their reasoning, especially when the conscious recognition of them would force them to revise particular positions, or even their entire worldview. When MissLed women’s thinking is guided by such egocentric tendencies, they see the world from a narrow, self-serving perspective. They are not ap- propriately concerned with how their behavior affects others. Instead, far too much of their focus is on getting what they want or validating their beliefs and views. While humans have a capacity for egocentrism (being trapped in self-delusion, myth, and illusion), they also have a significant capacity for rea- sonability (freeing themselves from self-delusion, myth, and illusion). When mired in egocentric thinking, however, MissLed women’s reasonability is sore- ly lacking. In fact, none of the feelings typically associated with egocentric thinking are benevolent: “Feelings That Accompany Egocentrism...Defensiveness, Irritability, Anger, Arrogance, Apathy, Alienation, Depression, Resentment, Indifference.” Richard Paul & Linda Elder, “The Miniature Guide to Taking Charge of The Human Mind,” (Sonoma, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 2007) 15. A final problem with egocentric thinking is that it often leads to egotism jealousy. It stems from MissLed women’s search for identity and worth - an inappropriately acute desire for constant esteem and respect from others. If the MissLed women who feel this emotion do not satisfy this desire, they often will feel frustrated, socially weak, and inferior. In truth, the  the best way to avoid such feelings is to do the work required to develop their rational tendencies: “Egocentric tendencies function automatically and unconsciously. Rational ten- dencies arise only from active self-development and are largely conscious.” Richard
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Paul & Linda Elder, “The Miniature Guide to Taking Charge of The Human Mind,” (Sonoma, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 2007) 14. Why Does Egocentric Thinking Matter? Egocentric thinking is automatic. In order to be overcome, it must be strug- gled against both consciously and constantly. The first, critical step is for MissLed women to recognize that there’s a problem. Then, a strong effort to see the world from any perspective other than their own will be needed. If these steps are not taken, MissLed women will continue to be unable, or unwilling, to put their focus and energy into overcoming egocentric thinking.  Finally, Egocentric thinking endangers both MissLed women and mis- guided men alike. Both are susceptible to being ensnared by dangerous self- serving biases: “Most of us construct self-enhancing, self-serving, egocentric biases that make us feel special - never ordinary, and certainly ‘above average.’ Such cognitive bi- ases serve a valuable function in boosting our self-esteem and protecting life’s hard knocks. They enable us to explain away failures, take credit for our successes, and disown responsibility for bad decisions, perceiving our subjective world through rainbow prisms.” Philip Zimbardo, “The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil,” (NY: Random House, 2007) 261.
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“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.” - C.S. Lewis Wishful thinking results from the formation of beliefs and decisions according to what might be pleasing for MissLed women to hope - or imagine - to be true.  They think this way instead of relying on evidence, rationality or, most daunting for them, facing (an often unpleasant) reality.  Tellingly, MissLed women often overuse the words Fair, Ought, Wish, Should, and Hope. These are indicative of their propensity for wishful think- ing. Such word usage is consistent with their preference for a fantasy land of escapism. Psychologically, their wishful thinking stems from believing some- thing because of their desire or wish that it be true. Not surprisingly, given the popularity of positive thinking today, optimism bias is predominant in wishful thinking among MissLed women. It is shown by their tendency to be overly optimistic about the outcome of planned ac- tions. MissLed wishful thinkers (regardless of circumstances) tend to consis- tently predict positive outcomes. However, any positive outcomes credited to their wishful thinking are usually a short-term mirage. This brief period is known as the “dream stage.” This make-believe stage can never be recon- ciled with the actual situation.  Soon enough, however, reality sets in, and a “frustration stage” follows. Things then start to go wrong, prompting a more determined effort to keep the fantasy in being. As the truth can no longer be avoided, they proceed to their “nightmare stage,” when everything goes wrong.  This culminates in an “explosion into reality,” when their fantasy fi- nally falls apart. The degree of damage done by this explosion varies, but is often quite significant. Magical thinking is an extreme form of wishful thinking, wherein MissLed women’s thoughts cross the line into superstition. MissLed women who think this way keep astrologers, palm readers, and psychic mediums in business.
Wishful Thinking
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Magical thinking is where the mind draws a correlation between unrelated events in order to bring about a desired conclusion. It is a form of reasoning that links causative relationships through correlation alone. MissLed Magical thinkers associate a particular action with a desired result, even though there is no logical connection between the two. MissLed women are often fooled by magical thinking because they allow their all-too-human, hardwired pro- cesses of attention and awareness to be manipulated.  In fact, most MissLed women’s superstitious beliefs are readily explainable by the principles of mag- ical thinking. In an increasingly confusing and impersonal world, seeking to allay their anxieties and feel in control, too often they misguidedly look for patterns and meaning. Hence, the allure of magical thinking. It serves to wish away fears or deny the reality of unpleasant situations:  “In Psychology, ‘magical thinking’ refers to the nonscientific reasoning an indi- vidual relies on to wish situations into being or to practice denial when faced with unpleasant scenarios.” Bonnie Eaker Weil, “Financial Infidelity,” (NY:  Pen- guin Group, 2008) 58. “‘Magical thinking’ (as it has been called) is defined as the belief that an object, action or circumstance not logically related to a course of events can influence its outcome. In other words, stepping on a crack cannot, given what we know about the principles of causal relations, have any direct effect on the probability of your mother breaking her back. Those who live in fear of such a tragedy are engaging in magical thought and behaving irrationally.” “Why Magical Thinking Works for Some People,” By Piercarlo Valdesolo, October 19, 2010, http://www.scien- tificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=superstitions-can-make-you&page=2 In fact, psychology writer Matthew Hutson in his book, “The 7 Laws of Magical Thinking,” discusses the most common forms of Magical Thinking: “Objects Carry Essences. What’s your memorabilia collection like these days? According to this first rule, we attribute special properties to items that belong or once belonged to someone we love, is famous, or has a particular quality we admire. The fact of the matter is that the objects are just those, objects, and despite their con- nection with special people in our lives, they have no inherent ability to transmit those people’s powers to us. Symbols Have Power. Humans have a remarkable tendency to impute mean- ing not only to objects but to abstract entities. We imbue these symbols with the ability to affect actual events in our lives. Actions Have Distant Consequences. In our constant search to control the outcomes of events in our seemingly unpredictable lives, we build up our own per- sonal library of favorite superstitious rituals or thoughts. The Mind Knows No Bounds. Another manifestation of this rule is our ten- dency to believe that if we think positive thoughts about a person in trouble, our thoughts can truly help that person, even if that person is thousands of miles phys- ically removed from us.
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The Soul Lives On. It’s our desire to avoid thinking about our own mortality that leads us to invent and hold onto a belief in the afterlife. The World Is Alive. We share the young child’s belief in animism, which is one key feature of preoperational thought. In other words, we attribute human-like qualities to everything from our pets to our iPhones. Everything Happens For A Reason. The most insidious form of magical thinking is our tendency to believe that there is a purpose or destiny that guides what happens to us.” “Our Superstitious Minds: The 7 Laws of Magical Thinking,” by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. Published on May 8, 2012 http://www.psychol- ogytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201205/our-superstitious-minds- the-7-laws-magical-thinking  Indeed, MissLed women who engage in magical thinking tend to seek to confirm only what they hope to be true. More effective thinking would result if they would filter out their magical or wishful thinking bias by comparing their hope versus the known facts.  Why Does Wishful Thinking Matter? Wishful thinking is not merely harmless frivolity from well-intended MissLed women. In fact, when their hopes inevitably are dashed, the results are unnecessary disappointments, disillusions, and even despair.  Such a widespread mindset contributes significantly to the current state of affairs in the United States of America: “Extremes in thinking and a vacuum in the middle where fact and reason used to dwell lately characterize the national state of mind...Wishful thinking is another symptom of our impaired consensus.” James Howard Kunstler, “Too Much Mag- ic: Wishful Thinking, Technology and the Fate of the Nation,” (NY:  Grove/ Atlantic, 2012) 2-3.  In addition, too much Disneyfied thinking (that life is magical) in MissLed women leads to poor decision making and unrealistic expectations.  Within such a mindset, they wrongly think they “deserve” happiness, success, fairness, and love.  Why?  In their thoughts, they are “special,” a “princess,” and “amaz- ing.” In such rarefied air of overinflated expectations, they feel they Deserve the best of everything. Dignified thinking (“I’ll create a wonderful life”), on the other hand, exemplifies non-MissLed women.  Most often, the former struggles and only strives, whereas the latter prospers and thrives.
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“Why, you may take the most gallant sailor, the most intrepid airman or the most audacious soldier, put them at a table together- what do you get? The sum of all fears.” – Winston Churchill  “Groupthink...occurs when a group makes faulty decisions because group pressures lead to a deterioration of ‘mental efficiency, reality testing, and moral judgment.” Irving L. Janis, “Groupthink: Psychological Stud- ies of Policy Decisions and Fiascoes,” (Boston: Houghton-Mifflin, 1982) 9.  “Many of the most misguided decisions have not been made by lone individu- als but by groups of people who, despite working together, still managed to make a disastrous decision.” Donelson R. Forsyth, “Group Dynamics: A Student’s Guide,” (Wadsworth, CA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning, 2010) 24.   Too often, MissLed women tend to be prone to groupthink. Since they tend to have a malleable mindset within a group, they prefer to play it safe. They often conform their thinking to only that which meets the approval of their friends or family members. As a result, they are too often satisfied to think in narrow terms that result in safe but substandard answers, suboptimal decisions, or uncritically defending the status quo.     Groupthink tends to happen when the desire for harmony in a deci- sion-making group overrides a realistic appraisal of alternatives. At times, it has been proven to be quite dangerous, even deadly.    Formerly, the problem of groupthink was mainly the failing of men in power and leadership positions. Today, because of their ascension in both business and governmental leadership, women are also vulnerable to this faulty thinking habit. Within a group, the powerful female instinct to tend and befriend can strongly influence their thinking. MissLed women in partic- ular tend to lack the confidence that is required to dissent or disagree within a group. They are fearful that any expression of a thought that dissents against the group’s consensus will put them at risk for what most women dread - rid- icule, exclusion, or dismissal. Too often, they’ll go along with a questionable
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decision or concept due to fear of losing their place in the group and being left behind. Often, they’ll do so because they long to belong - to join. Howev- er, there are costs as well as benefits involved with becoming a joiner:  “Joiners don’t want the truth. They want their collective delusion to continue. Ignoring legitimate criticism, enveloping oneself in an echo chamber filled with other pod people, and dehumanizing the opposition all further this end...Joiners insulate themselves from Doubting Thomases by practicing intellectual snobbery - refusing to debate, invoking the authority of science, speaking an insider language unintelligible to the unitiated, and so forth. Joiners don’t think. They follow. There is safety in numbers.” Daniel J. Flynn, “Intellectual Morons: How Ideology Makes Smart People Dumb,” (NY: Three Rivers Press, 2004) 243.   Joiners’ striving for unanimity often overrides any thinking that would lead towards a more realistic appraisal of alternative courses of action. MissLed women’s strong drive for acceptance from others is a strong motivating factor. For them, thinking outside the parameters acceptable to the group can feel uncomfortable, even frightening. Individual initiative, creativity, uniqueness and independent thinking are diminished or lost in group thinking. Indeed, when engaged in and enveloped by, group think, they begin to think of the group’s thoughts and ideas as their own. Within the group, MissLed women have little mental room to think for themselves.  Whether with men, women, or MissLed women, group thinking occurs in three types:   Type I: Overestimations of the group — its power and morality:  Illusions of invulnerability creating excessive optimism and encouraging risk taking.  Unquestioned belief in the morality of the group, causing members to ig- nore the consequences of their actions.  Type II: Closed-Mindedness:  “We know that preserving the cohesiveness of a group can trump good judg- ment; classic work on 'group think' explains how clusters of like-minded people can make bad decisions by ignoring alternative and even dehumanizing other groups.” Carlin Flora, “Friendfluence,” (NY, Doubleday, 2013) 173.  Rationalizing warnings that might challenge the group’s assumptions.  Irrationally stereotyping those who are opposed to the group as weak, evil, biased, spiteful, impotent, or stupid. Indeed, MissLed women who are en- gaged in group thinking can be close-minded and emotionally prejudiced against those outside of their group(s):  “Out-group infrahumanization is a newly investigated phenomenon in which people tend to attribute uniquely human emotions and traits to their in-group and deny their existence in out-groups. It is a form of emotional prejudice.” Phil- ip Zimbardo, “The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil,” (NY: Random House, 2007) 312.
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 Type III: Pressures toward Uniformity:  1. Self-censorship of ideas that deviate from the apparent group consensus.  “The willingness to self-censor is a symptom of groupthink.” Dr. Clifton Wilcox, “Groupthink,” (Bloomington, IN: Xlibris Cor- poration, 2010) 26.  2. Illusions of unanimity among group members; silence is viewed as agreement.  “Although the sway of group conformity is incredibly strong, it depends on unanimity for its power.” Ori Brafman, Rom Brafman, "Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior,” (NY: Dou- bleday, 2008) 150.   In fact, MissLed women often overestimate a sense of una- nimity with others:  “We frequently overestimate unanimity with others, believing that everyone else thinking and feels exactly like we do. This fallacy is called the false-consensus effect.” Rolf Dobelli, “The Art of Think- ing Clearly,” (London: Spectre Books, 2013) 231.  3. Direct pressure to conform placed on any member who ques- tions the group, couched in terms of “disloyalty.”  4. “Mind guards — self-appointed members who shield the group from dissenting information.” Irving L. Janis, “Groupthink: Psycholog- ical Studies of Policy Decisions and Fiascoes,” (Boston: Hough- ton-Mifflin, 1982) 174–175.   In fact, dissent is quite unwelcome in many groups. With their “mind guards” firmly in charge, few members dare to speak out, even if the ideas that they originate are important:   “Self-deception operates both at the level of the mind and the collective aware- ness of the group. To belong to a group of any sort, the tacit price of membership is to agree not to notice one’s own feelings of uneasiness and misgiving, and certainly not to question anything that challenges the group’s way of doing things. The price for the group in this arrangement is that dissent, even healthy dissent, is stifled.” Dan- iel Goleman, “Vital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self-Deception,” (NY: Simon & Schuster, 1985) 13−14.  In fact, groups can have profound effects on their ability to reason ratio- nally. In groupthink, the invaluable input provided by dissenters with regard to potential decisions or actions is often sacrificed. What beliefs and actions, then, most often leave MissLed women (and misguided men) vulnerable to groupthink? • The failure to examine sufficient alternatives  • Not being critical of each other’s ideas  • The failure to seek expert opinion
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• Lack of contingency plans   There are five common, damaging results from groupthink. Firstly, de- cisions shaped by groupthink have a low probability of achieving successful outcomes. In fact, groupthink often leads to irrational thinking, choices, and decisions:   “More than fifty years of research suggests that irrational thinking occurs when people try to reach decisions in groups, and this can lead to a polarization of opin- ions and a highly biased assessment of a situation.” Richard Wiseman, “59 Sec- onds: Think a Little, Change a Lot,” (NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 212.  Secondly, the barriers raised by groupthink can limit MissLed women’s thinking to within the safe confines of an unoriginal box. Therein, creativity tends to be stifled and extreme or suboptimal decisions tend to enabled:  “Ask them to come up with new ideas, and people are more creative away from the crowd.” Richard Wiseman, “59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot,” (NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 111.  “A large body of research now suggests that for more than 70 years, people using group brainstorming may have been inadvertently stifling, not stimulating, their creative juices. When working together they aren’t as motivated to put in the time and energy to generate great ideas, and so they end up spending more time thinking inside the box.” Richard Wiseman, “59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot,” (NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 111.  “In short, being in a group exaggerates people’s opinions, causing them to make a more extreme decision than they would on their own...the final decision can be ex- tremely risky or extremely conservative.” Richard Wiseman, “59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot,” (NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 212.  Thirdly, groupthink tends to influence MissLed women towards two fail- ings: Dogmatic beliefs and stereotyping others:  “Polarization is not the only phenomenon of ‘groupthink’...groups tend to be more dogmatic, better able to justify irrational actions, more likely to see their ac- tions as highly moral and more apt to form stereotypical views of outsiders.” Rich- ard Wiseman, “59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot,” (NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) 213−214.  Another significant downside to group thinking is that it often results in less creative and productive activity by MissLed women within a group. In fact, the term “Social loafing” describes the tendency of individuals to put forth less effort (including with thinking) when they are part of a group. Because all members of the group are pooling their effort to achieve a com- mon goal, each member of the group contributes less than they would if they were individually responsible. Instead of assuming responsibility for thinking about certain problems or decisions, MissLed women in groups tend to simply assume that one of the other group members will take care of such prob- lem-solving or decision-making. Indeed, social loafing can make it easier to
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conceal laziness - in thought or action - when working in a group of people who are working together.  There are 3 main reasons why social loafing occurs: 1. People perceive that others in a group are less motivated or less skillful than themselves. Since people feel unmotivated when working in a group, they perceive that their contributions will not be evaluated. As a result, they reduce their own output.   2. Social loafing may be caused by participants choosing goals that are less ambitious when others were present. They work with others with an assumption that the task will be easier when others are involved. With indivicual goals lowered, less effort is expected.   3. Individuals feel that their own efforts are less closely linked to any potential outcomes in a group setting than when they are alone.   “Social loafing does not occur solely in physical performance. We slack off men- tally, too. For example, in meetings, the larger the team, the weaker our individual participation.” Rolf Dobelli, “The Art of Thinking Clearly,” (London: Spectre Books, 2013) 99.   Finally, group thinking often results in dangerous levels of conformity:   “In short, groups will tend to reinforce their own views and reject the words of those who disagree. In this case, members of the group become ‘conformist to some conformity.” Irving L. Janis, “Groupthink: Psychological Studies of Policy De- cisions and Fiascoes,” (Boston: Houghton-Mifflin, 1982) 5.  In fact, conformist thinking misguides MissLed women to the point they are far too influenced by their family group, work group, or peer group. Iron- ically, if MissLed women want to be truly unique and more valuable, they would be far better served to be non-conformist in their thinking:  “Humanity’s most valuable assets have been the non-conformists. Were it not for the non-conformists, he who refuses to be satisfied to go along with the continuance of things as they are, and insists upon attempting to find new ways of bettering things, the world would have known little progress, indeed.” – John Kenneth Galbraith  Conformist thinking stems from cognitive dissonance, obedience to au- thority, familiarity, repeated social contact, and a diffusion of responsibility. Within MissLed women’s malleable minds, too often they think as if they were a sheep moving with the herd. Not surprisingly, this leads them directly to conformist behaviors, such as uncritically following certain fads or trends, and purchasing “hot” or “cool” items. All too-commonly, they follow the herd in their language, fashion, music, or other entertainments such as movies or television. Quite often, they conform their thinking, and, hence, their actions, so as to avoid any backlash from their peers:
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“Women who live outside the norm of feminine stereotypes or who exhibit per- sonal qualities of being active, independent, and logical may experience a backlash by other women. Unfortunately, these binds leave very little room for a woman to live authentically and express her genuine thoughts and feelings.” Dr. Erika Holi- day, Dr. Joan Rosenberg, “Mean Girls, Meaner Women: Understanding Why Women Hurt and Betray Each Other,” (NY: Orchid Press, 2009) 89.  Unfortunately for them, conformist thinking tends to limit many MissLed women’s potential to mere mediocrity. Admittedly, it can be quite alluring, as its conformity is associated with these positive emotions:  • Acceptance  • Connection  • Belonging  • Comfort  • Familial Bonding  Many of MissLed women’s self-limiting and self-defeating behaviors are the logical result of group and conformist thinking. Their misperception of being limited by peer pressure misguides them to feel they must act in accor- dance to what the group approves. Their chosen conformity often permits them to rationalize bad behaviors:  “Come on — everybody’s doing it.' That whispered message, half invitation, half goad, is what most of us think when we hear the words peer pressure. It usu- ally leads to no good drinking, drugs, casual sex.” “Herd Mentality,” By Annie Murphy Paul, Apr. 09, 2011 http://www.time.com/time/magazine/arti- cle/0,9171,2061234,00.html#ixzz1zFP2hktz  Fear is behind much of MissLed women’s conformity. They are afraid of being shunned, ostracized, ridiculed or shamed if they dare think - and there- fore act or speak in a manner that displeases the group. As a result, MissLed women tend to conform closely to the unwritten rules, social norms, values, beliefs, and traditions of any groups to which the belong.    Of course, some group or conformist thinking is beneficial. The resultant safe, group-condoned behaviors often give the useful impression of agree- ableness. This helps them both to bond with other women and, perhaps even more importantly, to impress men (for mating purposes).      Why Does Group Thinking Matter? For too many MissLed women, group thinking is often self-limiting or even self-defeating. Too often, such thinking is much like a weather vane - bending to the fickle winds of opinion and actions of their group. Within the illusionary safety of the herd mentality, activity is limited, objectivity is lost, and creativity is severely curtailed. Their reasonableness can be both distorted and compromised:  “Something strange happens when you put people in groups. They take on new
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roles, form ‘in group’ alliances, get swept up by extreme stances, and succumb to peer pressure. In a group setting, the reasonableness of our thinking can be distorted and compromised.” Ori Brafman, Rom Brafman, “Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior,” (NY: Doubleday, 2008) 150.  In summary, within group thinking, MissLed women’s minds are not free to think critically. What’s lost, in the end for them, is much truth - about themselves and their world.
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While many mature women are prospering, some women’s minds are stalled at an immature thinking stage. Too many MissLed women’s minds are mired in ignorance and immaturity, in large part due to their adolescent thinking. Unfortunately for them, their thinking never matured or developed beyond the natural human tendency to think in merely adolescent terms. This is shown by: • An intense preoccupation with their own feelings. • A misplaced belief that they are special and unique. • Imaginary Audience. Encouraged by the fleeting attention they re- ceive from others, they mistakenly think they are the focus of others’ attention (style, body, hair). They falsely perceive that others must do the same thing that they do - namely, think about and monitor them. They fail to realize that while they may be preoccupied with themselves, others are not so inclined. • Personal Fable. Their ardent belief that their feelings and experienc- es can not be understood by others - because they are unique. • Illusion of Invulnerability. Their misinformed belief that bad things will not happen to them (only to other people). This often allows them to (delusively) believe they can get good outcomes without having to do the appropriate amount of work. The typical consequences of adolescent thinking are significant. They in- clude dishonesty, justification, making excuses, blaming others, and playing the victim. There are 8 common indicators of adolescent thinking: Victim Stance. When MissLed women do not take responsibility for their own actions. Example: “He got me drunk.” Lack of Effort. When MissLed women do not put sufficient energy to- ward completing their required tasks. Lack of Concern for Others.  Shown when MissLed women who do not have an age-appropriate amount of focus on other people’s welfare.
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Fears Being Put Down or “Punked.” When MissLed are afraid to let any- one tell them what to do, or to give them constructive criticism. Refusing a Trust or Obligation. When MissLed women will not follow rules or refuse to fulfill an obligation. Shows Weak and False Pride. When MissLed women have unwarranted pride despite their lack of accomplishments, create fear in others, and do the exact opposite of what is expected of a responsible citizen. Using Anger Inappropriately. Those MissLed women who overuse anger in difficult situations. Poor Planning & Decision Making. Those MissLed women who do not think before they act. Not surprisingly, those MissLed women who think on the level of an ad- olescent are unable to consistently behave in a mature manner. Since they did not learn to properly analyze situations, they tend to do what they feel, instead of what needs to be done: “The ability to analyze situation and do what needs to be done rather than what we feel like doing is the very essence of maturity. It is a skill hard won, and that requires regular exercise to remain viable.” Albert Bernstein, Ph. D., “Emotion- al Vampires at Work: Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers Who Drain You Dry,” (NY: McGraw-Hill Education, 2013) 20. A final cost to MissLed women who think at the adolescent level is in communication. As would be expected, their immature thinking leads them to write and speak in ways that are less creative, less articulate, and thereby, less effective. Such a communication deficit in their personal and professional lives has significant costs (for more on this, see MissCommunication section.) Why Does Adolescent Thinking Matter? Too often, MissLed women who engage in adolescent thinking tend to blame, to justify their words or actions, to attempt to rationalize bad behaviors, to seek to minimize any errors, or to make excuses for any mistakes. Not sur- prisingly, these damaging results of adolescent thinking can have significant adverse effects on MissLed women’s personal relationships.
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“Pc is the wholesale replacement of rigorous thought with virtuous ideas and behavior. In order to gain the upper hand on reason and analysis, PC relies on two potent tactical weapons: pretense and dishonesty.” Michael R. LeGault, “Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye,” (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 110. The last, but certainly not the least, common thinking problem with MissLed women is Politically Correct thinking. Political Correctness - PC - fosters the dangerous practice of restraining speech. Any opinion or comment deemed offensive, or other otherwise undesirable, is expected to be self-cen- sored. Such thoughts are strongly discouraged - and any expression of them is strictly prohibited. Within PC thinking, some terms are taboo. If referred to at all, taboo terms are described as “unacceptable” or “inappropriate”: “Political correctness inculcates a sense of obligation or conformity in areas which should be (or are) matters of choice. Nevertheless, it has had a major influence on what is regarded as acceptable or appropriate in language, ideas, behavioral norms, and values.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 4. Instead of providing open and honest communication, PC thinking sub- stitutes an approved vocabulary of correct terms for any terms that are deemed unacceptable or inappropriate. In addition, PC euphemisms are used to refer both to groups that are supposedly stigmatized and allegedly prejudicial prac- tices. MissLed women often unquestionably embrace, and even promote, the concept of PC. It appeals to them because they misperceive it as benevolent. For them, PC is “fair,” “inclusive,” and “sensitive.” In truth, however, it is yet another form of evil - done in the name of good. PC thinking encourages: Conformity in Thought and Action: PC thinking leads MissLed women towards stifling conformity, and away from critical thinking and the open expression of frank opinions and ideas. One of the most limiting aspects of PC is its restriction of acceptable thoughts. Any ways of thinking that might challenge the powers that be are either verboten or, at a minimum, marginalized. As a result, MissLed women
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who are PC-oriented unthinkingly conform - they sheepishly toe the party line. In fact, when many PC statements are de-constructed, they can be clearly seen for what they are - nothing more than vapid, feel good statements. Yet, still, PC thoughts and statements tend to appeal to MissLed women because they are deemed safe. This allows them to avoid the discomfort that usually accompanies conflicts or controversies: “...correctness brought conformity in accepting new agendas, new limits on free- dom of expression, and a general avoidance of certain controversial topics.” Geof- frey Hughes, “Political Correctness: A History of Semantics,” (Oxford: John Wiley & Sons, 2010) 284. Misplaced Feelings of Moral Superiority: For MissLed women, PC thinking feeds their desire to see themselves as morally superior. They voice soothing sentences or write sweet sentiments to demonstrate how much they “care.” Yet, while preaching compassion and “tolerance,” they are, themselves, often quite intolerant: “The intolerant, sanctimonious moral superiority that sustains the beliefs of the politically correct means that they are easily offended by the views of others. There are few as intolerant as those who preach tolerance. In contrast, if your beliefs are upheld by reason and empiricism, then opposing views don’t offend you, they in- trigue you.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (Lon- don: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 26. Misperception of the World through Rose-Colored Glasses: “Political correctness is a way of thinking - or rather emoting - that often so engulfs someone’s mind that they are unaware of it. If you wear rose-tinted glasses long enough, it seems normal that the whole world is rose.” David Conway, An- thony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 79. Wrongheaded and Misconceived Classifications of “Victims”: “Political Correctness is an ideology that classifies certain groups of people as victims in need of protection from criticism, and which makes believers feel that no dissent should be tolerated.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 4. Blame Game: PC thinking tends to align with the famed philosopher Rousseau’s view of humanity. Therein, humans, in a state of nature, are fundamentally good. Society, however, corrupts them. If “man is born free, but he is everywhere in chains,” it follows that somebody is to blame for their tragic plight (usu- ally, white males). Political correctness, much like the widespread Marxism which preceded it, is a blame game. It theorizes that a conspiracy based on race (white), gender (male), sexual persuasion (straight) and class (the capital- ists) exploits, demeans and abuses everybody else. The consequences of these
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misplaced and foolish ideas resulting from PC thinking are widespread, and deadly serious: “Ideas have consequences, and the consequences of foolish ideas can be appalling.” John M. Ellis, “Literature Lost: Social Agendas and the Corruption of the Humanities,” (Binghampton, NY: Vail-Ballou Press U., 1997) 164. The most serious consequences of MissLed women’s PC thinking: •  Truth means less than “goodness.” •  Dissent of PC concepts is not tolerated. •  That which is “correct” and that which is “incorrect” are dictated. •  Topics are forbidden.  As a result of these limitations on freedom of thought, people are afraid to speak up, or to state provocative opinions, for fear of being branded “racist,” “sexist,” “intolerant,” or “judgmental.” Perhaps the most damaging overall consequence of PC thinking is that it tends to close MissLed women’s minds. Their thoughts are swayed toward feelings and away from clear reasoning: “Across much of the public sphere, it has replaced reason with emotion, subordi- nating objective truth to subjective truth...Rather than opening minds, it is closing them down...By closing down debates, it restricts the ability to society to tackle the problems that face it.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Rea- son,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) xii–xiii. Indeed, MissLed women’s PC thinking - and their resultant support of PC concepts - is a threat to open-mindedness, both men’s and women’s comfort with speaking freely, and liberal democracy: “Those that do not conform (to PC) should be ignored, silenced or vilified. There is a kind of soft totalitarianism about Political Correctness.” David Conway, An- thony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 2. For some MissLed women (those who lack a personal ethical system or moral compass), such PC thinking fills their moral vacuum: “It is a belief system that echoes religion in providing ready, emotionally satisfy- ing answers for a world too complex to understand fully, and providing a gratify- ing sense of righteousness absent in our otherwise secular society.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 6.  Indeed, PC thinking also leads to the avoidance of discussion or argument relating to controversial or provocative topics:  “We tend to shy away from discussion about ‘unpleasant’ things. The Gesta- po-like, motherly dictum ‘Never talk about politics or religion’ has expanded to a more encompassing ‘Never risk venturing beyond matter-of-fact observation and common anecdote.’ ” Michael R. LeGault, “Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye,” (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 110.
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A final price of PC thinking is that, in PC land, women are largely im- mune from being criticized by others - or, even more dangerously, from self-criticism: “Any suggestion that women are co-architects of their unhappiness or failure to prosper shall be deemed tantamount to misogyny, horizontal hostility, and internal sexism. We’re to ignore, deny, shift blame, and sweep all evidence of internal thrash- ing under a rug of complacency. Play along, or you’re anti-woman.” Kelly Valen, “The Twisted Sisterhood: Unraveling the Dark Legacy of Female Friend- ships,” (NY: Ballentine Books, 2010) 13. Why Does PC Thinking Matter? While PC terms often sound harmless, and are lauded by many as sensitive and advantageous, they actually hinder the ability to think. PC thinking se- verely limits MissLed women’s ability to express themselves openly and effec- tively. For them, truth in thoughts or speech is too often sacrificed on the altar of being non-offensive. What’s needed is for everyone - including MissLed women - to feel free to speak honestly and openly in private discussions and public debates. Speech is best guided by sound arguments, founded in facts and guided by reason. MissLed women would be better served if they adjusted their mindset away from political correctness and toward factual correctness. Otherwise, PC’s emotionalism, dogmatism, and intolerance of dissent will continue to dominate far too much private and public discourse: “By its very nature, politically correct thinking is most often disingenuous, if not altogether intellectually dishonest. Politically correct thinking replaces individual- ity and authentic opinions with socially acceptable rhetoric and watered-down be- havioral tendencies.” “Politically Correct Leader? Oxymoron!” by Mike Myatt, 12/07/2011 http://www.forbes.com/sites/mikemyatt/2011/12/07/political- ly-correct-leader-oxymoron/  In sum, those MissLed women who habitually think via a politically cor- rect filter are often sentenced to a life of mediocre performance, and vulnera- bility to totalitarian ideals and leaders: “More and more, large numbers of people substitute PC views, hard-line po- litical ideology, or cultish balderdash for hard-won knowledge and flexible, pow- erful reasoning and problem-solving skills.” Michael R. LeGault, “Th!nk: Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye,” (NY: Threshold Editions, 2006) 122. “The Politically Correct are more intolerant of dissent than traditional liberals or even conservatives...Those who do not conform should be ignored, silenced, or vilified. There is a kind of soft totalitarianism about Political Correctness.” David Conway, Anthony Browne, “The Retreat of Reason,” (London: Institute for the Study of Civil Society, 2006) 2.